Honey-Do

There's this thing that is widely known throughout military land; it is called a Honey-Do List. With Hubby's impending arrival back into my life, I have recently found myself spending a lot of time creating my own list inside of my head. Today I thought, what better place to write out my honey-do list than on my blog? So, here it is, for your viewing pleasure.

Dear Hubby,

Welcome Home! I know that you have had a rough 7 months without common luxuries such as indoor plumbing, regular showers, a normal bed, cable television, homecooked meals, etc. I also realize that due to your 24/7 on the job status while deployed, you are very used to staying busy and on the go at all times. I have decided that it is really to both of our benefits that you are used to working so hard... especially because while you were gone, I had some things come up that I really need you to take care of. Of course, I understand that you will probably want to relax your first day back; that is only normal. However, I really think its best that you get back out there as soon as possible and really put your everything into this list. Without further ado, I present to you

THE LIST

1. Remember last deployment when you came back and the backyard was completely torn-up and grassless due to the fact that I had trouble remembering to water it? Well, you'll be happy to know that it's not that bad this time. However, for your first order of business you will most likely want to get the yard back to your standards. There may be some re-sodding involved, but I assure you, there is still grass back there. Just not as much as you might hope..
2. Again, remember how when you returned from your last deployment our pool was green because the pool pump broke as a result of the Wildfires and all of the debris that made its way into our pool? Well, once again, no worries, it's not nearly as bad as that. However, those Santa Anas have been blowing for the past couple of weeks and while the pump is still in perfectly working order, the vacuum itself does not seem to be functioning properly. It's likely that I could figure out how to fix this myself (as I have done many times over the past 7 months), however, since your return is only a short time away I decided it was really best if I left that job to you, the resident expert.
3. Our garbage disposal is broken. It's really a huge nuisance to not have a working garbage disposal. If you could fix it asap, I would be eternally grateful.
4. The shower in our bathroom drips. If you could take care of that right away it would really cut back on our water bill every month...(I say that because I know how much you really hate to waste money).
5. You may have noticed this on your way into the house, but the palm trees... they are in desperate need of trimming.
6. If you could please get our border collie signed up for agility classes when you have a free moment, that would be great.

After you have completed all of the items on this list, I'm sure you will feel much more comfortable being back at home.

With all of my love,

Sarah

venting

Hubby is due back in a month. I mean, I think he's due back in a month. I haven't received a return date or anything yet and have no idea when a return date might be told to me. Hubby did tell me the other day on the phone that he won't be giving me any dates on an unsecure line (translated: all the lines I use to communicate with him are "unsecure" which means I will not be finding out the official date through Hubby).

So. I don't really know. I am preparing for his arrival during the end of February, though. And he damned well better show up then or I'll be one disappointed military wife.

This week, I decided that February is probably going to be the longest month of my life. Which, I realize is completely ironic since as we all know, February is in fact the SHORTEST month on the calendar.

I know I am sounding pretty pathetic today. Sorry about that, but...

I am having a bad week.

What qualifies my week as bad, you ask? First of all, I lost two earrings. Two earrings from two different pairs.. which is extremely devastating to me. Secondly, due to a special school week I've had disgustingly late nights & early mornings at work. And, last but not least, I found out my employer will not give me the money to fund my Masters Degree...

They won't fund it because I would be using the masters to "clear" my teaching certification -- which I totally understand -- I mean, why in the world would they want to fund a masters degree that would get a teacher the credentials to actually continue teaching? I mean, seriously.. what is the sense in that?

I hope you caught the sarcasm in that.

Okay, I'm finished venting.

Tonight, anyway... :)

My 8th Grade Teachers

I'm not sure how it came up, but today in class my 8th graders asked me what my 8th grade teachers were like. Normally, I don't let them get me off track this bad, however, this time it was something that interested me.

So, I humored them.

My English teacher was someone who the majority of my friends were afraid of. I wasn't, though. This was probably because my sister had been in her class a few years before me and had only positive things to say about her. This teacher was a grammar nazi. She had long red fingernails that she would tap against the board when she was making a point. She made students stand up behind their desks when answering a question. She had tape in the shape of a square on her floor -- it was called "the box" and it was something that all students feared. Every time we gave a speech or presentation, we had to stand inside the dreaded box. Today, in my classroom, I have a box just like hers. My students aren't nearly as afraid of it as I was when I was in 8th grade.. but that's good because I don't want them to be. She was also the first teacher I ever had who went out of her way to tell me I was a good writer.

My algebra teacher was really tall and really funny. He used to get off topic in class and tell stories about his son, his favorite band R.E.M. , and Bill Cosby, his favorite comedian. He also had quite a temper. One time he caught a few of the boys in my class counting how many times he said the word "um" - an assignment given to us by the English teacher mentioned above - and he blew a gasket. It was the biggest outburst I ever witnessed from a teacher. The finale was him stomping out of the classroom and slamming the door. Besides his temper, he was the kind of teacher that you felt comfortable confiding in. I remember saying that to him once in an off-subject class discussion, and I know it really touched him because he thanked me the next day when he passed me in the hall.

My geography teacher was crazy. She had huge reading glasses that she used to wave around while she was teaching. For some reason, she loved me. In fact, she loved me so much that she gave me an A on everything. At some point in the year, I realized she was just giving me A's without reading my work, so on an essay test I purposely wrote a few random things like "Camels are extinct" to test out my theory. I wasn't surprised when my test came back with a big red A+ on it. I told my students this today, and they were very jealous. I explained to them that it actually really wasn't a good thing, but they didn't see the logic in that.

My science teacher was really nice and a little bit of a pushover. The only major thing I remember about her class was a lesson where we pulled a tablecloth out from under plates, glasses, and silverware. I was one of the people who tried it, and it worked.. to my complete and total surprise. I do remember having to study for the tests that she gave, though. And, studying isn't something I remember doing much of during my school years, so she must have been doing something right.

It's really interesting for me to think back on the teachers I've had and what I remember about each of them. It's even stranger to think that one day 10 years from now my students might be writing a blog or having a conversation about their teacher Mrs. (Sorry) and the things they remember about her.....

:) :(

A fourth person mentioned to me today that I look like I'm losing weight.

That made me happy.

Then, for Open House one of my students drew a picture of me on the board.

Another student came in and said, "That doesn't look like Mrs. (Sorry), the stomach is too small."

Hmm..

What did I tell you? 8th graders sure have a knack for keeping a person humble...

Indecision (what a weird word!)

It's possible that you noticed that in this post I said I wasn't going to be making any plans until Hubby came home and I officially found out where the future (aka Marine Corps) would be taking us. And then in this post - a mere couple of days later - I broke the news that I was probably going to be starting a Masters Program in April.

You also might have noticed that sometimes I write about how rewarding it is to be a teacher. And.. sometimes I write about how exhausting it is.

Sometimes I write as the empowered military wife...

...and sometimes I complain about how dreadful it is to run the house on my own and live without romance.

Sometimes I explain how wonderful it is to live in San Diego...

.. and other times I lament about being so far away from my family.

In fact, more than likely, you've noticed that the only thing consistent about my posts is the inconsistency of them.

I did warn you when Hubby first left for Iraq that I turn bi-polar during deployments. I certainly experience HIGH highs and LOW lows and, of course, some moments inbetween.

But, I think it goes beyond that.

I think there's a possibility that I really just might be the most indecisive person in the entire world. Seriously.

I second guess pretty much every aspect of my entire life. From the big decisions - should I be a teacher? To the small decisions - should I have just said that?

It's a condition that I've learned to live with.

However,

(WARNING: the information that follows contains high levels of CORNY & SWEET)

To tell you the truth - and I think about this often - the only decision that I do not regularly question was my decision to marry my husband.

.........to clarify, I also am NOT one of those people who can't make up my mind about what I want to eat at a restaurant. (I only mention this because I truly despise that quality in a person.)
Oh yeah, and I also never question my decision to add my border collie to the family. The husky on the other hand......

Okay, so maybe I'm not the MOST indecisive person in the whole world, afterall. I do think I could probably make it into the top 10, though.

Moooving On...

This has been a pretty good week. Want to know why? Well, too bad, I'm going to tell you anyway.

First of all, three, I repeat, THREE people noticed that I'm losing weight. Each time one of them said something, I did a silent cheer inside my head.

I've been working really hard to lose weight. Throughout this process, though, the scale has not been my best friend. But I feel better and thinner, and was therefore completely excited that other people are noticing (and thus it is NOT just all in my head). I'm contemplating throwing my scale out the window tomorrow. I'll keep you posted on that.

Second of all, one of my students wrote the awesome Mrs. (Sorry) is... that I posted for your viewing pleasure in my last post. I love, love, love to receive unexpected compliments like that.

Actually, it's been a pretty good week for compliments from my students. (This MIGHT have something to do with the fact that report cards came out this week, and they were all trying to put in a little bit of last minute butt kissing.. but I will choose to pretend that is NOT the case).

Today, one of the 5th graders brought me a picture that she had drawn for me. It was a picture of a flower, and it said, "Mrs. (Sorry) is a lovely flower inside my heart". It was so sweet, I could have cried. (or was that the pms talking?) And the kicker... today an 8th grader.. yes, I said 8TH GRADER.. said, "Mrs. (Sorry) you're such an enthusiastic teacher." -- I gave him a wary look.. waiting for the punchline.. and said, "I'll take that as a compliment." To which he responded, "That's how I meant it." Wow. Needless to say, I was shocked. (and having a party inside of my head.. but I played it cool so as not to scare him off)

Other than that, it's just been minor stuff.. you know.. like.. I'm probably going to begin a Masters Degree Program in April. But, I'm not going to write about that because I really don't want to jinx myself. Currently, I'm fully on board with the idea and am deathly afraid that at any moment I'll chicken out and come up with some great excuse why this is not the best time.

So Mooooving on...

Today I made a joke in class with my 8th graders.. none of them laughed.. so I laughed and said Moooving on.. then they laughed. Then they explained to me that the funny part isn't me making jokes.. it's me responding to their lack of response to my jokes. Did you follow that?

Good.

Well, I'm off to bed to go read the book The Lovely Bones. I really need to stop reading it at night because it completely FREAKS me out, but I am just dying to know what happens next.

Mrs. (Sorry) is...

In my literature classes I regularly give my students a writing prompt, and they spend the first 7 (or so) minutes of class writing. Today, my student who wrote the date on the board also wrote Mrs. (Sorry) is... This was NOT the writing prompt (partially because I would be extremely frightened to see what the junior high students would write if it were), however, one of my students came up to me after class and wanted to read her prompt to me. She had used the Mrs. (Sorry) is... and it was so neat that I had to make a photocopy of it to keep.

Here it is:

Mrs. (Sorry) is...

super, awesome, cool, nice, kind, glamorous, smart, young, good, creative, fun, funny, a teacher, fashionable, fabulous, joyful, a good writer, a good influence, pretty, married, a superhero, a Twilight fan, happy, helpful, a role model, a dog lover, a candy-giver, composed, an actress, rocking, cheerful, content, sunny, likeable, a woman, confident, nice-shoes-buyer, agreeable, amiable, fun to be around, delightful, charming, festive, jolly, cheerful, sociable, calm, peaceful, friendly, pleasant, faithful, clever, a peacemaker, intelligent, fair, imaginative, living in San Diego, active, modern, lively, good-mannered, focused, an American, good-natured, independent, a leader, talented, a good reader, puzzling, prayerful.

How cool is that?

I think I'm going to fold it up, put it in my wallet, and get it out any time I'm feeling not-so-great about myself.

M.O.Y. R.I.P.

This deployment the most interesting thing happened. First of all, about a year ago, one of my very best friends in the world (Andrea) moved to San Diego. With her, she brought her roommate from PT (Physical Therapy) School, and within a week of their arrival, Andrea's college roommate also moved here.

It was a complete and total coincidence that we all happened to be in San Diego at the same time. The joke was that Andrea had a friend in San Diego representing each stage of her life: childhood (ME), College (Sue), and Grad School (Kristen).

Around the time that Hubby deployed, Andrea broke up with her boyfriend, Sue's husband moved to the East Coast to pursue a job there, and Kristen (continued) her long distance relationship with her boyfriend. ANOTHER coincidence.

We came to name ourseleves MOY (Mourning Our Youth) and have had many drinks, laughs, and nights on the town together over the past several months. We've celebrated our birthdays, taken a weekend trip to San Francisco, obsessed over Twilight together, and shared our pain of being ALONE. It's so interesting how life brought us all together to share the tough times over the past many months. For me, personally, having those ladies here, has made a world of difference this deployment.

Last night, we went out to dinner at an awesome Fondue restaurant in La Jolla to celebrate our time together and to officially say "goodbye". You see, Kristen's boyfriend moved out to San Diego after Christmas, Sue is leaving at the end of the month to be with her husband on the East Coast, Andrea's boyfriend will most likely be moving out to San Diego by the end of February, and Me? Well, if all goes as planned, I should have my Hubby back in my life by the end of February also.

While we are all so excited to have our "Happy Endings", I think we are all a bit nostalgic too.

It just goes to show that God really does provide you with just exactly what you need to get through the tough times. In our case, he gave us each other.

Knock On Wood

You know that you're 5 and a half months into a deployment when Hubby calls at 3:00 in the morning.. and instead of shrieking into the phone with excitement.. you're actually a teensy tiny bit frustrated that you've just lost out on a perfectly good night's sleep.

Well, that's what happened to me last night, anyway. Not that I wasn't completely happy to talk to him - it had been a few days, and I was starting to get a little agitated with the lack of communication. But, when he hung up abruptly after only about ten minutes of converstaion due to the early arrival of his team back from a patrol, it was just the slightest bit annoying that I could not fall right back to sleep.

Instead, I laid in bed planning what I will do in my classroom for my school's Open House at the end of January. After about an hour of that, I had to start repeating the "Our Father" prayer over and over in my head to make my brain stop THINKING so much. And, sometime, around 4:30 am, I finally fell alseep.

Today, being the very middle of the month of January, marks the beginning of a month and a half countdown until Hubby's return. I'm so excited.. and yet.. I somehow feel so unprepared.

How in the world did this deployment fly by so quickly? Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not complaining. I'm just amazed.

I can't begin to explain to you how much easier this deployment has been than the last. I was thinking about that today, and I decided this can be attributed to a number of things:

1) It's our 2nd deployment - and therefore, we both knew what to expect
2) My mom doesn't have CANCER this time
3) One of my very best friends lives here now
4) I've been working this deployment - and therefore - completely busy
5) Hubby is not watching his dreams shatter before his very eyes this deployment
6) I have a gardener and no longer have to spend my precious weekends outside doing yard work all by myself/at all
7) I have not had to flee my home in order to escape wildfires
8) My pool pump hasn't broken due to terrible debris and ash from aforementioned wildfires
9) My pool hasn't turned green due to broken pool pump
10) My dog hasn't dug a hole in my couch


I think you get the idea. This deployment = Paradise

compared to last deployment which = hell.

Now, if you don't mind I must go. You see, it would be just my luck that after writing this blog something horrible would go wrong. Therefore, I absolutely must go find the nearest piece of wood.. and knock on it.

New Day

Growing up, I journaled on a daily basis. I continued all the way through the end of my freshman year in college. For this reason, I have a razor sharp memory of my yester-years.

I also am infatuated with finding the perfect quote for the perfect situation. And, I don't often quote MYSELF, but I will today.

In one journal entry that I wrote sometime in the junior high era of my life, I said the following, "When things are going well for me, it seems like as soon as I acknowledge it in writing, things change for the worse."

I think of that quote often. You know why?

Because it's STILL true to this day!

After that last post where I basically claimed once and for all that my inner turmoil about being a teacher was officially over, doncha know that I went to school today and had absolutely THE worst teaching day ever.

Maybe I was tired.
Maybe it was the fact that it hit a record breaking 86 degrees today and there's no AC in my school.
Maybe it was just the curse of the fact that I acknowledged in writing that things were going well.

Whatever the reason, this day was awful. Pitiful. Dreadful. Horrific.

I was really about to get down on myself about it. I briefly considered changing my mind about the whole "meant to be a teacher" thing.

But, on my drive home - lucky for me I have a loong 45 minute drive home to spend fully contemplating my day - I decided not to let the day get me down. Yes, it's true, today the kids were pretty much the epitome of why every time I tell someone I'm a junior high teacher they gasp in dismay. However, I decided to take the focus off of them for a hot second and take a look in the (rearview) mirror. What could I have done differently today to make things better?

What did I not handle to the best of my ability? What changes can I make tomorrow so that I don't drive home tomorrow feeling like I've been run over by a pack of wild animals (or teenagers, if you will)?

I think I came up with a couple of pretty good answers to those questions.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I have a plan.

Wish me luck - and lots and lots of patience. :)

The Future?

This week, along with the rest of the world, I went back to work.

I was completely dreading it. There wasn't the teeniest ounce of me that wanted to go back.

But, the week went well. Very well. I was in such a GREAT mood all week. I'm not sure what to attribute this to. My friend suggested that the vacation refreshed me. That's a possibility. I have, however, also been considering the idea that I might just be less tired in general because I have been working out on a regular basis. At the end of my work day, I no longer feel like I've been hit by a MAC truck. It's incredible.

Actually, this week I decided that maybe I really am meant to teach. Here's the thing: It's not that I don't think I'm a good teacher. Honestly, I think I'm a GREAT teacher at least in the ways that I interact with my students. I seriously believe that I make a positive impact on those students. I just am not completely convinced that I am TEACHING them the material to the best of my ability. I think I do a great job with coming up with interesting projects and activities. I am definitely a "hands on" teacher who expects the students to be doing more of the talking & doing in class. However, I know that I am not the best teacher I could be. Today, I realized that actually going out there and getting my Master's degree in teaching isn't just about getting the degree. It's about LEARNING to be a BETTER teacher. I know that seems obvious to the average person, but it was a serious "AHA!" moment for me.

Therefore,
*Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye
I hereby swear that I will begin a Master's program.........

...as soon as Hubby returns from Iraq, and I actually know what the next few years are going to look like for us.

Remember my post about moving to Quantico? Well, THAT most likely won't happen. Hubby has no desire to work there. So, I had thoroughly convinced myself that staying in San Diego for the next few years was not only the BEST decision for us financially and practically, but that I am just not quite ready to leave this beautiful place yet.

And then,

I received a letter in the mail. Or, to be more exact, Hubby received a letter in the mail that I opened. It was from some squadron in Pennsylvania asking Hubby to come fly with them.

I was confused. ??? As far as I knew the only 53 helicopter squadrons in existence were located in San Diego, North Carolina, and Hawaii. So, I didn't say anything to Hubby about it.

Until today.. when I offhandedly mentioned the confusing letter that had arrived asking him to come fly for a squadron in Pennsylvania.

Hubby's reaction? "Oh my gosh, are you SERIOUS? I've been HOPING for that!"

Hmm. Apparently, there's a 53 squadron I never knew about. In Pennsylvania of all places. My HOME state!!!

But, really, I'm not going to get my hopes up about this. I'm just going to officially say that I am FINISHED convincing myself of anything until something is a done deal. (And if I've learned anything as a four year military wife veteran, it's that it's NOT a done deal until the moving truck is in the driveway!) Who knows where 2009 will take us. Virginia? Pennsylvania? a new chapter in San Diego? or possibly somewhere else? I have NO idea.

And, until I find out, I won't be pursuing any Master's Degree - or making any plans at all, for that matter.

Christmas 2008 at a Glance

I can't believe that my TWO WEEKS of Christmas vacation in Pennsylvania have already come and gone! This was an interesting vacation with a tiny little rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions throughout. I suppose I should just start at the beginning.

After securing my dogs at the kennel and locking up my house for the duration of my vacation, I was on my way to Pennsylvania. That's when the anxiousness of preparations went away and the excitement to arrive at my family home took its place. My plane landed an entire hour earlier than expected, however, getting my bags and getting out of the Dulles parking lot took TWO HOURS and truly tried my patience. Then, of course, I had to sit in the car for another two hours before FINALLY arriving at my parents' house. Whew. I felt a little bit like I would explode from the anticipation.

But, alas, I arrived. The very first thing I did was gorge myself on a wonderful homecooked meal - during which I ate a grand total of TWO baked potatoes. No, I'm not exaggerating. Yes, I agree, it's disgusting. BUT, in my defense, after living on frozen meals for the past several months, the food just tasted so good that I could not resist.

For once, I actually felt like I had enough time to do everything I wanted to do while home. I spent quality time with my parents & siblings, enjoyed playing with my nephew, met my brother's soon-to-be fiance (I hope), spent time with friends, visted with extended family, and also had plenty of time to simply R-E-L-A-X. Oh, and of course, I ate TONS of amazing food (too much, actually) AND received wonderful presents. I really couldn't ask for a better Christmas vacation..

EXCEPT for one major detail.

Hubby was NOT there.

And, you know, I've gotten pretty darn used to Hubby NOT being around. However, I was definitely feeling his absence during this holiday season. He loves my family's Christmas - from the presents to the food to the games - he enjoys it all. For the most part, it was just a little sentimental like, "Aww, I sure wish Hubby could be here to play this game" or "Aww, this is Hubby's favorite meal" and so on and so forth.

I did get a teeny tiny bit emotional once, though. I'm sure you can guess when...

Oh.. you can't?

Well, I got emotional in CHURCH of course. Which I totally did NOT see coming at all. Which is absolutely the worst part. I was sitting in church, minding my own business when during the intentions the reader mentioned "the military service members who could not be with their families this Christmas", and BAM! Waterworks city. The problem was, once I started I really couldn't stop.

There I was in the middle of a packed row of people in the church blowing air onto my eyes with my mouth trying desperately to hide the fact that I was crying from the tons of people who were sitting around me. I don't think many of them noticed, really. Which was good, because if someone had noticed and given me any sign of comfort, I'm sure it would have made it 100 times worse. I absolutely despise crying in front of people.

For the most part, though, this Christmas was a good one. On New Years I got to chat with Hubby online for HIS midnight (which was 4:00 pm Eastern Time). We even gave each other a little New Years Kiss with one of those kissy smiley faces on skype. It was certainly a New Years kiss to remember. :)

And, now here I am back in San Diego. My dogs are safe at home (though I did make an emergency trip to the Vet this morning because my Husky's eye had NOT gotten any better) and believe it or not, my house did NOT explode while I was gone. Whew. What a relief.

I have to say, even though it's always hard to say goodbye to my family, every time I return to San Diego after a long trip away it seems more and more like I'm returning Home.

I have high hopes for the year of 2009. In my old age, I've been realizing more that the unknown future is something to look forward to rather than to fear. I can't wait to see what 2009 will have in store for me. The only thing I know for sure, is that one of my first and best memories of 2009 will be Hubby's homecoming.

Two more months until I can say Hasta La Vista to this deployment. My official countdown has begun. :)

Happy 2009! May it be a year filled with lots of life's little surprises.