Military Sneak Attacks

No matter how prepared you THINK you are, you're never prepared enough... especially for something like your husband's deployment to Iraq. I thought I was prepared. I thought I was fine. And then, I was driving in to work last Sunday to tie up some loose ends at school before the week started, when I started thinking about the going away party I wanted to have for him, and before I knew it I was crying. It's official. I've had my first pre-deployment cry. Which means: it's official, my husband actually IS deploying, and I actually DO realize it on some level or another.

Beyond that, I really thought I was rough, tough, and this 2nd deployment was going to be no sweat. In my strange, deluded mind, I truly believed that. I believed that, until my husband checked in for his training and came home with a schedule of what the next few months of his (aka OUR) life will look like. While looking at it, I got irrationally angry. I was annoyed at hubby, at the dogs, at the garage door. I was tired, grumpy, nothing was going right. I shed an angry tear over the fact that my husband would be AWAY training while I was AWAY with my students at their 8th grade camp and my dogs would have to be AWAY in the kennel. I was walking in a cloud of rage for no apparently reason when I realized that I'm not really the maniacal woman I was pretending to be. I'm really just a woman who is grieving over the impending loss of normalcy as I know it.

Then I thought about it. When Hubby gets back from THIS 2nd deployment, it will be almost exactly two years since he left on his FIRST deployment. I did some quick calculations in my head and realized that by this time next year Hubby will have been in Iraq 14 of 24 months and home only 10.

I thought I was going to be fully prepared for this 2nd deployment. I thought I would look this deployment square in the eye and laugh in its face. And, maybe I will. But first, I have to recover from the FACT that this deployment is pulling sneak attacks on me. It's sneaking up on me because I've barely had time to accustom myself to life WITH my husband before I am having to prepare myself for life WITHOUT him once more.

How NOT to Parent

As a two year teacher who just survived parent teacher conferences, and despite the fact that I do not have any children of my own, I feel certain that I could write a best selling book called How NOT to Parent.

Rule # 1: NEVER tell your child that he/she ALWAYS disappoints you. I would assume that this one was rather self-explanatory, but apparently not considering the amount of parents who made this statement to their children after seeing a less than satisfactory report card during parent teacher conferences.

Rule # 2: Do NOT be the parent who questions what the teacher is telling you because your child has told you differently. Of COURSE your child is telling you differently!! He/She is DESPERATELY afraid of losing his/her IPOD/XBOX/LAPTOP/IPHONE and would say and do anything to keep them!

Rule # 3: Do NOT be the parent who asks the teacher what you should do about your child's behavior problems. If YOU as the parent can't figure your kid out then that's 75% of your kid's problem in the first place. A Teacher can do many things, but he/she cannot teach you how to be a competent parent.

Rule # 4: Do NOT be the parent who allows your child to have a tv/cell phone/computer in his/her room and then complains that he/she does not do his/her homework when he/she is supposed to. OF COURSE your child isn't doing his/her homework. TV/CELL PHONES/COMPUTERS are WAY more fun than homework!!

Rule # 5: Do NOT be the parent who walks into the parent teacher conference and has no idea what subject the teacher teaches or what his/her name is. Come on people. Have you no shame?!

If you follow these rules very closely, you will be an expert in how NOT to parent. How TO parent is another matter indeed. I guess I'll figure that one out for myself when I have some kids of my own.

:)

Wake Up Call!

I really hate to say it, but I might be turning into one of those people that I hated in high school. You know, the ones who freaked out before every test and cried about how they were going to fail. And then, of course, they would get an A and act shocked about it. Those people made me want to puke.

And, I'm afraid.. I might be one of those people.. only worse. I might be one of those people in my WORKING world.

You see, my Fine Arts Performance today was a HIT. I was actually embarassed by the compliments that were being sent my way by fellow teachers. Their compliments made me reevaulate the performance; because, truthfully... I didn't think it was very good. And, anyone who knows me will tell you I'm not a perfectionist. So, something just isn't adding up here.

After today, the only thing that I know for sure is that I am going to have to come to grips with the idea that I might be one of those "I'M GOING TO FAIL" people that I rolled my eyes at in high school. *shudder*

Is it possible that those people truly believed that they would fail? I mean, I always knew they were full of shit and that they'd pass with flying colors. I assumed they knew the same but were putting on some big show for attention. But, with my recent experiences, I am beginning to think that maybe they really DID believe they would fail. Just like I REALLY DID believe my performances were going to flop BIG TIME.

Crazy.