In this blog post I will be covering the following ideas which may or may not be related:
I'm spending Thursday - Sunday alone with Sawyer while Mike is on the East Coast being a groomsman in his cousin's wedding.
Both Mike and I have recently been spending a lot of time weighing the pros and cons of staying in the marine corps vs. getting out
We have rats in our attic
Yes. spending alone time with Sawyer. Nervous about the prospect of 4 days without Mike as back-up. Super sad that Mike is seeing the family but I and (most importantly) Sawyer are not. This was my decision. Just the thought of this trip overwhelmed me beyond belief. That plus the exorbitant cost of flying us across the country helped me to decide that Sawyer and I should stay behind. I don't really regret my decision, but I am very, very, VERY sad that Sawyer will be at least 6 months old before anyone in our family gets to see him again. They are missing out, let me tell you.
Mike. Possibly getting out of the USMC (in 2 years after we do our next tour in Parris Island, South Carolina). Of course, the most practical decision is for Mike to stay in. Incredible health insurance. check. Amazing retirement. check. Steady paycheck. CHECK.
However, there's this whole thing about all of these wars and marines going to them and bla bla bla. I mean, we have a kid involved in this whole thing now and will most likely have another one sometime in the somewhat near future... Four days without Michael is throwing me through a freaking loop... what will I do without him for months and months on end while he deploys? Not to mention that, you know, these kids kind of need a Daddy in their lives so I'd prefer not to be sending him off to do dangerous things. Ya know what I'm saying? Yep. Also? If we're not part of the usmc world we can live near our family and all that good stuff. Lots to think about.
rats. di-freaking-sgusting. As I was pulling into my garage the other night, my headlights zoned in on a giant rat scaling the top of our garage wall and disappearing into a hole that could only lead to our attic. Since then we've been hearing a lot of noise above us. We called the exterminators and they're taking care of the situation. They came yesterday and set up some traps... said we'd be hearing them going off... I've only heard one and am now thinking that I just spent a butt load of money to have the professionals come in and kill one rat. I wouldn't be too terribly heartbroken over the loss of money if that were the case. It would be my kind of luck, though.
All in all, I'm deathly afraid of said rats and will not step foot inside of my garage until I have assurance that they (he, she, it?) are gone. I can't believe I'm in this house alone while rats are dying above me. (see how this is coming together?)
On another note, my alone time with Sawyer is going pretty well so far. We took a 3 hour nap together this morning, and he's currently nestled in his crib working on his third nap of the day. Also, when I asked him what he wanted to do with his alone time with mommy, he gave me the biggest, brightest smile and I thought I would die from the cuteness.
that is all.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
The Many Ways My Life Has Changed Since Becoming a Mommy
1. If my house is messy it's because I just haven't had a chance to clean it up - not because I've been lazy
2. There are days when I do not sit down at my computer one.single.time.
3. Sawyer is always my first thought.
ex. 1: a possible radiation cloud heading towards So Cal? OMG - how can I protect Sawyer? (totally was no big deal, but that doesn't mean I didn't spend at least a few hours freaking out about it).
ex. 2: whoa - my eyes are really bloodshot. What if I have pink eye? What if SAWYER gets PINK EYE?!?!?!
4. Michael often goes grocery shopping and doesn't do a half bad job of it.
5. Dinner time is often delayed until 7 pm or possibly even 8. Usually after Sawyer is slumbering peacefully in his crib. note: pre-parent-Sarah freaked out if she didn't have dinner between the hours of 4 and 5:30 pm. no joke.
6. We haven't been able to keep up with our DVR'd tv shows.
7. The slightest mention of babies/parent love for babies/cute baby things makes me choke up
8. I have great remorse for all of the times I have judged other parents - both silently and out loud. I am truly humbled and realize that this parenthood thing is not easy and we are all just fumbling around clumsily while hoping and praying for the very best.
9. My heart skips a beat every time I hear a baby cry - on tv, at the store....
10. My heart explodes with love and joy every time I look at my baby boy.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
My Toys
This summer while traveling across the country with my dad, I realized that the two of us were probably the last two people on the planet who weren't getting internet and email on our phones. At the time, I was proud of that fact. For Mike's 30th birthday, though, he got the iPhone 4 and passed his iTouch down to me. After I started using the iTouch a bit, I started turning my green-with-envy eyes towards Mike's phone. I, however, did not want to spend a couple hundred dollars on a cell phone. You can imagine my glee when AT&T started advertising the iPhone 3GS for only $49.99. Perfect! I must say, now that I have the iPhone, I really can't imagine living without it. It is especially useful to me now, since I am completely addicted to facebook and email but often don't even have the chance to sit down at my computer one single time during my very busy stay-at-home-mommy-day. The iPhone 3GS has saved me from getting the shakes and having to go into facebook withdrawal rehab. Thank you, iPhone! You are a lifesaver. Literally.
Last but not least, my new computer the HP TouchSmart 300 PC. Though the iPhone helps me manage my facebook and email shakes, there's much I can't do on it. (this BLOG, Sawyer's website, bills...etcetcetcetc). Our home computer served us for approx. 6 years, but died over the summer, came back to life, and died for good last week. Mike and I took to computer shopping, and of course, couldn't pass up such a neat computer. The coolest thing about this computer? The setup = plug in the computer. Literally. Goodbye thousands of confusing cords. Hello simplicity! I love our new computer and highly recommend it to anyone else in the market. It was also very affordable. We got a refurbished one from bestbuy.com and haven't had any trouble with it at all.
I know we should be saving our money for Sawyer's toys, but these three items were pretty much necessities, and I love my new toys!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Last night Sawyer slept 9 hours without waking. It was quite the event. When he did finally wake up to eat, he didn't want to go right back to sleep as is his usual pattern in the early am. He wanted to celebrate a bit. So I put him on my bed, and he talked to me for a bit. I started to get a little sleepy, so I placed my hand on his chest and closed my eyes for a moment.
When I opened them, his hands were resting on mine and he was staring intently at me. I stared back. While we gazed lovingly into one another's eyes, I thought about how lucky I am to have a precious little guy who brings so much joy to my life.
Not all of my days with him are great. In fact, I often feel like a bumbling idiot and find myself frustrated at my inability to figure out what he wants and needs.
But he loves me despite my shortcomings. He is actually completely fascinated with me. Just as he stared so intently and lovingly at me this morning, so he does the same thing when I am on the phone or talking with Mike. Any time my attention is not completely on him, he takes that opportunity to thorougly examine me. I wonder what he thinks as he gazes with those big inquiring eyes. I hope he realizes that I may not be perfect, but I'm his... that I love him with everything in me, and I will be the best mother I can be for him.
I hope he understands these things. Somehow, I believe that he does.
When I opened them, his hands were resting on mine and he was staring intently at me. I stared back. While we gazed lovingly into one another's eyes, I thought about how lucky I am to have a precious little guy who brings so much joy to my life.
Not all of my days with him are great. In fact, I often feel like a bumbling idiot and find myself frustrated at my inability to figure out what he wants and needs.
But he loves me despite my shortcomings. He is actually completely fascinated with me. Just as he stared so intently and lovingly at me this morning, so he does the same thing when I am on the phone or talking with Mike. Any time my attention is not completely on him, he takes that opportunity to thorougly examine me. I wonder what he thinks as he gazes with those big inquiring eyes. I hope he realizes that I may not be perfect, but I'm his... that I love him with everything in me, and I will be the best mother I can be for him.
I hope he understands these things. Somehow, I believe that he does.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
gearing up for change
As it turns out, Mike and I will not be gracing the greater Washington, DC area with our presence anytime soon. Bummer. Mike found out that the school he was hoping to attend requires you to apply a year in advance. oops. Apparently it wasn't always this way, which is why the older Marines who told him he should go there didn't know to tell him about the whole applying a year in advance thing. oh well.
goodbye free place to live!
so long close proximity to family!
sigh.
It looks like we will be heading East afterall, though. Southeast. South Carolina, y'all.
Mike will have to report by Sept. 30, so atleast I get my wish of enjoying one last summer with my pool.
It looks like we're going to have to keep the house and join the ranks of all those landlords out there. When we bought this house almost 5 years ago, we thought it was foolproof (OR, Mike and his parents thought it was foolproof. I was scared to death, but nobody ever listens to the paranoid girl now do they?). Soon thereafter the market collapsed and we are so upside down in this house it's best not to even think about it because it's just much too depressing. Funny thing is, the military has this program called HAP that helps people who are in bad situations because of the real estate CRISIS -- they will either buy your house from you or pay the difference if you can't sell the house for what you owe. BUT - in reading the fine lines, you had to have bought your house by July 2006 in order to be elligible. Doncha knowit? We bought our house in Sept. 2006. A measly 2 months.
welcome to my life.
In any case, if we can just manage to hold onto this house long enough it will certainly be a moneymaker for us in the long run. It'll be a huge thorn in our side until then, though. A huge, spiky, pain inducing thorn.
South Carolina seems nice, though. The location is just a short distance from Hilton Head and Savannah, so we'll have some fun places to explore and visit while we're there. Also, it is a non-deploying job for Mike which is why we're choosing it (yep, the Marine Corps actually gives you a couple of choices). It will be nice to have him home for the 2 full years that we will be stationed there. (I currently feel the need to knock vigorously on wood because Mike has received INCORRECT intel so many times throughout his career with the USMC that I probably would not fall over from shock if we arrived in SC and he found out he would indeed be deploying.... no, I'm not a pessimist. It's called REALISM.)
In any case,
It's hard to believe that by the time we move, my little 2 month old munchkin will be almost 10 months old!
2011 is sure to be an interesting year.
goodbye free place to live!
so long close proximity to family!
sigh.
It looks like we will be heading East afterall, though. Southeast. South Carolina, y'all.
Mike will have to report by Sept. 30, so atleast I get my wish of enjoying one last summer with my pool.
It looks like we're going to have to keep the house and join the ranks of all those landlords out there. When we bought this house almost 5 years ago, we thought it was foolproof (OR, Mike and his parents thought it was foolproof. I was scared to death, but nobody ever listens to the paranoid girl now do they?). Soon thereafter the market collapsed and we are so upside down in this house it's best not to even think about it because it's just much too depressing. Funny thing is, the military has this program called HAP that helps people who are in bad situations because of the real estate CRISIS -- they will either buy your house from you or pay the difference if you can't sell the house for what you owe. BUT - in reading the fine lines, you had to have bought your house by July 2006 in order to be elligible. Doncha knowit? We bought our house in Sept. 2006. A measly 2 months.
welcome to my life.
In any case, if we can just manage to hold onto this house long enough it will certainly be a moneymaker for us in the long run. It'll be a huge thorn in our side until then, though. A huge, spiky, pain inducing thorn.
South Carolina seems nice, though. The location is just a short distance from Hilton Head and Savannah, so we'll have some fun places to explore and visit while we're there. Also, it is a non-deploying job for Mike which is why we're choosing it (yep, the Marine Corps actually gives you a couple of choices). It will be nice to have him home for the 2 full years that we will be stationed there. (I currently feel the need to knock vigorously on wood because Mike has received INCORRECT intel so many times throughout his career with the USMC that I probably would not fall over from shock if we arrived in SC and he found out he would indeed be deploying.... no, I'm not a pessimist. It's called REALISM.)
In any case,
It's hard to believe that by the time we move, my little 2 month old munchkin will be almost 10 months old!
2011 is sure to be an interesting year.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
College Crazies
In college I became friends with some very interesting people. Interesting being a very mild adjective with which to describe them. I'm not sure why or how these were the people who ended up in my life. It just kind of happened that way.
First there was Kelly. She seemed very normal. The interesting thing about her was that she was black, but I didn't know it. I'm actually not joking. I thought she was just really tan until I saw pictures of her family and they definitely were all African American. I remember calling my mom and saying, "Did you know that Kelly is black?" and she said, "...umm.. yes." Silly me. Yes, I realize I'm the strange one in this story. To say that I was naive (dumb?) and sheltered back then would be quite the understatement. The reason I mention her, though, is because after Christmas vacation I came back to school and she had taken all of the pictures of the two of us down from her walls. She also stopped speaking to me and made other friends. I have no idea what happened. I never asked either.
There was Yanela. My first college roommate. She was from Panama and never spoke to me. In the beginning I made many attempts at inviting her to do things with my friends and me, but it was very apparent that she wanted nothing to do with me. She moved out without telling me or the school. I knew she was moving out because one day as I sat on the computer, she started packing all of her things in boxes. I'm fairly certain that she left without saying goodbye. The great thing about the way that she left was that by the time the school figured out she was gone it was too late for them to place someone in my room. I had a room to myself for half a year. sweeeet.
Next there was Dan. Everyone assumed he was gay including me, but he denied it. Dan was super fun most of the time... except for the days when he would lock himself up in his room and wouldn't talk or eat. Apparently he was bi-polar and at some point early in my freshman year, he stopped taking his medication and started self-medicating. He transferred to another school nearby for sophomore year. Then he dropped out and started living with a girl somewhere in Virginia. We lost touch, but I did find out a few years down the road that he eventually did come out of the closet.
Fatima. She might possibly have been the craziest person I've ever met. She had two distinct personalities so much so that we gave her alternate a nickname: Faduma. Faduma came around any time Fatima was under the influence which was pretty often. Faduma was known to do things like: pour two bottles of beer on my head, light people's hair on fire, steal nursing mannequins from the nursing department of our school, suddenly not recognize the people she was hanging out with all night at a club, and last but certainly not least.. steal cars. Or, actually, it was only one car. She stole it from her "friend" and parked it in a gas station parking lot as a "joke". However, she never planned on telling her "friend" where it was. If it wasn't for me, that girl might not have ever found her car. Sorry Sarah saves the day! In the end Fatima (or was it Faduma?) failed out of school, owed thousands of dollars in bounced checks to the university (and the local Chinese food restaurant) and was forced by her parents to come live with them in Ethiopia. Fatima was super fun to hang out with, though! I swear! We did keep in touch a little through email. Last I heard, though, she had escaped her parents' clutches and was living in England. Who knows if that's true or what ever became of her. I sure wouldn't mind seeing her again, though. Seeing FATIMA, that is.
There was also Yvonne, who technically wasn't really much of a friend, but she is the girl whose car Faduma stole and she dated one of Mike's best friends for a while, so she was in my life quite a bit. This girl called in a bomb threat to the school so that her bf could get extra time to study for a final he thought he was going to fail. And guess who she confided her dirty deed to? Mwa. Yep. I told my best friend, my best friend told the powers that be, and guess who was back at the university the next year? Yvonne. Apparently, calling in a bomb threat is not enough to get you kicked out of college. Who knew?
There were others... but the stories I have to tell about them are most likely too convoluted for a short blog post.
I often say that college for me was much more about life experience than about classroom learning. The people I encountered certainly taught me a lot. Reading this, though, I am rather surprised that I managed to make it through college with a decent gpa and my scholarship intact.
Go figure.
First there was Kelly. She seemed very normal. The interesting thing about her was that she was black, but I didn't know it. I'm actually not joking. I thought she was just really tan until I saw pictures of her family and they definitely were all African American. I remember calling my mom and saying, "Did you know that Kelly is black?" and she said, "...umm.. yes." Silly me. Yes, I realize I'm the strange one in this story. To say that I was naive (dumb?) and sheltered back then would be quite the understatement. The reason I mention her, though, is because after Christmas vacation I came back to school and she had taken all of the pictures of the two of us down from her walls. She also stopped speaking to me and made other friends. I have no idea what happened. I never asked either.
There was Yanela. My first college roommate. She was from Panama and never spoke to me. In the beginning I made many attempts at inviting her to do things with my friends and me, but it was very apparent that she wanted nothing to do with me. She moved out without telling me or the school. I knew she was moving out because one day as I sat on the computer, she started packing all of her things in boxes. I'm fairly certain that she left without saying goodbye. The great thing about the way that she left was that by the time the school figured out she was gone it was too late for them to place someone in my room. I had a room to myself for half a year. sweeeet.
Next there was Dan. Everyone assumed he was gay including me, but he denied it. Dan was super fun most of the time... except for the days when he would lock himself up in his room and wouldn't talk or eat. Apparently he was bi-polar and at some point early in my freshman year, he stopped taking his medication and started self-medicating. He transferred to another school nearby for sophomore year. Then he dropped out and started living with a girl somewhere in Virginia. We lost touch, but I did find out a few years down the road that he eventually did come out of the closet.
Fatima. She might possibly have been the craziest person I've ever met. She had two distinct personalities so much so that we gave her alternate a nickname: Faduma. Faduma came around any time Fatima was under the influence which was pretty often. Faduma was known to do things like: pour two bottles of beer on my head, light people's hair on fire, steal nursing mannequins from the nursing department of our school, suddenly not recognize the people she was hanging out with all night at a club, and last but certainly not least.. steal cars. Or, actually, it was only one car. She stole it from her "friend" and parked it in a gas station parking lot as a "joke". However, she never planned on telling her "friend" where it was. If it wasn't for me, that girl might not have ever found her car. Sorry Sarah saves the day! In the end Fatima (or was it Faduma?) failed out of school, owed thousands of dollars in bounced checks to the university (and the local Chinese food restaurant) and was forced by her parents to come live with them in Ethiopia. Fatima was super fun to hang out with, though! I swear! We did keep in touch a little through email. Last I heard, though, she had escaped her parents' clutches and was living in England. Who knows if that's true or what ever became of her. I sure wouldn't mind seeing her again, though. Seeing FATIMA, that is.
There was also Yvonne, who technically wasn't really much of a friend, but she is the girl whose car Faduma stole and she dated one of Mike's best friends for a while, so she was in my life quite a bit. This girl called in a bomb threat to the school so that her bf could get extra time to study for a final he thought he was going to fail. And guess who she confided her dirty deed to? Mwa. Yep. I told my best friend, my best friend told the powers that be, and guess who was back at the university the next year? Yvonne. Apparently, calling in a bomb threat is not enough to get you kicked out of college. Who knew?
There were others... but the stories I have to tell about them are most likely too convoluted for a short blog post.
I often say that college for me was much more about life experience than about classroom learning. The people I encountered certainly taught me a lot. Reading this, though, I am rather surprised that I managed to make it through college with a decent gpa and my scholarship intact.
Go figure.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Motherhood
It's hard to write these days. How do I even begin to accurately put my feelings into words? I don't know, but I suppose I should try.
Most of the time, I am just in awe of my baby... of the fact that I have a baby... that one day it was just Michael and me and the next here he was.
I think I've been riding a wave of euphoria for the past 2 months. Yep. 2 months. My precious little guy will be 2 months old tomorrow. Time is flying.
Mike gets frustrated with me at times because I will often just sit and stare at Sawyer. In fact, when we're watching something on tv that Mike wants me to see, he will hold Sawyer out of my eye shot so that I won't be distracted by our gorgeous little baby.
Motherhood, so far (KNOCK ON WOOD!) has been much easier than I anticipated. I figured the exhaustion would really get the best of me, but I haven't really had much of a problem with that. A few things contributed to this, I think...
1) Michael didn't go back to work full time until just this past week. Almost 2 full months of a full time daddy/helper? priceless.
2) We lived with my parents for the first month. They cooked and cleaned for us, and all we had to do was tend to our baby. no problemo.
3) Sawyer is a champion sleeper. He has been sleeping "through the night" pretty much since we arrived back here to San Diego (*sleeping through the night is defined as sleeping a 6 hour stretch), and he has always been really great about waking up, eating, and promptly going right back to sleep. My sleepless nights have really been few and far between with this guy.
Did I mention that he rarely ever cries? seriously. Those inconsolable howling babies you see on tv (or encounter in the grocery store)? They're alien to me. My baby complains every now and then, but rarely gets to the point of an all out screech and can almost always be soothed very easily with food, a pacifier, or possibly a short walk around the room.
Mike and I are convinced that our next child is going to be the nightmare baby, because everyone is constantly telling us that not all babies are like our baby. We are the proud parents of one very content little man. (again, pardon me while I KNOCK ON WOOD furiously!) I am also slightly convinced that one day very soon Sawyer is going to wake up and throw a 24 hour temper tantrum to make up for being such an angelic child thus far.
Yesterday I was thinking about how lucky Michael and I have been. Because he didn't really go back to work full time until this past week, we have had so much time to just be a family and figure out this parenting thing without other life stresses getting in the way. I'm also thankful to be able to stay home and just be a mom. I know staying at home full time is not for everyone, but I certainly could not imagine not being with my baby all day long. And, though my pregnancy seemed long and arduous (ok, so that was really only the last month... but man was that last month tough!) I feel very blessed to have been able to cherish every minute of his short little life (both in the womb and out!).
Yes. Downright euphoric. That's exactly how I feel.
Labor and delivery were something else entirely, however. I think I had it quite a bit harder than most because women say that once that baby is in your arms you forget completely about the ordeal of getting him into the world. I did not, though. I still haven't. And I don't expect to forget anytime soon. It took me a while, but I have recently decided that it *maybe *might *possibly have been totally worth it and though I'm a total whimp and a tried and true quitter, I just might be up for doing it all again....
eventually.
I do suppose that it will be worth it if it means I will be able to experience the absolute bliss of motherhood once again.
Most of the time, I am just in awe of my baby... of the fact that I have a baby... that one day it was just Michael and me and the next here he was.
I think I've been riding a wave of euphoria for the past 2 months. Yep. 2 months. My precious little guy will be 2 months old tomorrow. Time is flying.
Mike gets frustrated with me at times because I will often just sit and stare at Sawyer. In fact, when we're watching something on tv that Mike wants me to see, he will hold Sawyer out of my eye shot so that I won't be distracted by our gorgeous little baby.
Motherhood, so far (KNOCK ON WOOD!) has been much easier than I anticipated. I figured the exhaustion would really get the best of me, but I haven't really had much of a problem with that. A few things contributed to this, I think...
1) Michael didn't go back to work full time until just this past week. Almost 2 full months of a full time daddy/helper? priceless.
2) We lived with my parents for the first month. They cooked and cleaned for us, and all we had to do was tend to our baby. no problemo.
3) Sawyer is a champion sleeper. He has been sleeping "through the night" pretty much since we arrived back here to San Diego (*sleeping through the night is defined as sleeping a 6 hour stretch), and he has always been really great about waking up, eating, and promptly going right back to sleep. My sleepless nights have really been few and far between with this guy.
Did I mention that he rarely ever cries? seriously. Those inconsolable howling babies you see on tv (or encounter in the grocery store)? They're alien to me. My baby complains every now and then, but rarely gets to the point of an all out screech and can almost always be soothed very easily with food, a pacifier, or possibly a short walk around the room.
Mike and I are convinced that our next child is going to be the nightmare baby, because everyone is constantly telling us that not all babies are like our baby. We are the proud parents of one very content little man. (again, pardon me while I KNOCK ON WOOD furiously!) I am also slightly convinced that one day very soon Sawyer is going to wake up and throw a 24 hour temper tantrum to make up for being such an angelic child thus far.
Yesterday I was thinking about how lucky Michael and I have been. Because he didn't really go back to work full time until this past week, we have had so much time to just be a family and figure out this parenting thing without other life stresses getting in the way. I'm also thankful to be able to stay home and just be a mom. I know staying at home full time is not for everyone, but I certainly could not imagine not being with my baby all day long. And, though my pregnancy seemed long and arduous (ok, so that was really only the last month... but man was that last month tough!) I feel very blessed to have been able to cherish every minute of his short little life (both in the womb and out!).
Yes. Downright euphoric. That's exactly how I feel.
Labor and delivery were something else entirely, however. I think I had it quite a bit harder than most because women say that once that baby is in your arms you forget completely about the ordeal of getting him into the world. I did not, though. I still haven't. And I don't expect to forget anytime soon. It took me a while, but I have recently decided that it *maybe *might *possibly have been totally worth it and though I'm a total whimp and a tried and true quitter, I just might be up for doing it all again....
eventually.
I do suppose that it will be worth it if it means I will be able to experience the absolute bliss of motherhood once again.
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