As March sets in, I am praying that it will go by in slow motion. It's possible that as this deployment approaches, I just might be less prepared than ever before. There's 4 things about this deployment that make it a little bit more unpredictable and a tad bit more anxiety inducing: 1) He will be gone for a YEAR. a year is 5 more months than he's ever been gone before. 5 months is a LONG time.
2) He's going to Afghanistan. That's different. Neither one of us is completely sure what to expect.
3) I don't know any of the people he's deploying with! Well, that's a lie.. I think I know 2 people, but neither one of them has a wife. It's going to be weird when he tells stories about all these people and I will not be able to place names with faces.
4) I don't know what I should do with myself while he's gone!
But, #4 is old news.. so I digress.
Recently, I have been thinking about how great Mike is...
1. He lets me be me. He doesn't pass judgment on how I dress, what I say, how I want to spend my money, what I want to do with my time. I, on the other hand, give him a hard time about all of the above. I feel bad about it on a regular basis; because, he is so easygoing when it comes to me.
2. He's the life of the party. Sometimes I think my friends much prefer hanging out with him and me *together* rather than just me alone. Can I blame them? He's interesting and funny and a great conversationalist. When he's around, things are just more FUN.
3. He works hard at being the best husband he can be. At times it doesn't seem like he hears or acknowledges the things I say... he is generally defensive at first when I bring up issues. But, I have noticed, that he contemplates the things I mention and in his own way and in his own time he works to improve them.
4. He LOVES me. So freaking much. And it is so freaking great.
5. He's a homebody. Even though he's the life of the party (#2) he prefers spending quiet time at home alone with me more than anything else in the world.
I could go on, but I might bore you with my sentimentality... so I will quit while I'm ahead.
Suffice to say: he's the best; I love him, and I'm going to miss him like hell when he's gone.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Ain't Life Grand?
Can you believe it? I am actually succeeding in keeping my Lenten promise. I don't think I have complained about my job once!
I did almost get hit by a car while walking through the school parking lot this morning. That was an odd experience. I was walking with another teacher on our way into the building when all the sudden we heard an acceleration of the gas and a subsequent slamming of the brakes. We turned around to see a rather bewildered looking student and her mother stopped in a car only a foot away. Odd indeed.
Despite the fact that for the last few days I had myself convinced that I would be sticking around for another year at my place of employment, last night and this morning I started to have some doubts again.
I have officially decided that I won't officially make a decision until after Mike leaves. Then I will have a better idea of how unbearable the crazy hours (in and out of work) and the long commute actually are while living alone and trying to keep my dogs from destroying the house. Sure, I've done it twice before but apparently I've blocked the experiences from my memory because I can't decide whether or not it's something I would be insane to attempt again.
I have, however, officially decided that I will be pursuing my Master's Degree while Mike is gone. I have pretty much settled on a TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) distance learning program out of Shenandoah University in Virginia. If they'll have me, that is.
What's that you say? You don't believe me?
I know. I know. This isn't the first time I've claimed that I was going to start working on my Master's. You have reason to doubt me; I understand. But this time I'm really going to do it. I swear!
And you want to know the really cool thing?
Thanks to recent changes to the GI Bill, my education will be paid for entirely by the Gov't. Mike has the option of signing his GI Bill over to one of his dependents... and... well... that's me! Because he can get a Master's through the Marine Corps as part of his ongoing officer training for free... he doesn't really need it. Lucky me! Ain't life grand?
To sum things up: I am actually succeeding in not complaining about work! Shocker! I'm still confused as ever about what I will do next year; I am, however, going to pursue my Master's Degree; I swear! And the Federal Gov't will be paying for it. Niiice.
The End.
I did almost get hit by a car while walking through the school parking lot this morning. That was an odd experience. I was walking with another teacher on our way into the building when all the sudden we heard an acceleration of the gas and a subsequent slamming of the brakes. We turned around to see a rather bewildered looking student and her mother stopped in a car only a foot away. Odd indeed.
Despite the fact that for the last few days I had myself convinced that I would be sticking around for another year at my place of employment, last night and this morning I started to have some doubts again.
I have officially decided that I won't officially make a decision until after Mike leaves. Then I will have a better idea of how unbearable the crazy hours (in and out of work) and the long commute actually are while living alone and trying to keep my dogs from destroying the house. Sure, I've done it twice before but apparently I've blocked the experiences from my memory because I can't decide whether or not it's something I would be insane to attempt again.
I have, however, officially decided that I will be pursuing my Master's Degree while Mike is gone. I have pretty much settled on a TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) distance learning program out of Shenandoah University in Virginia. If they'll have me, that is.
What's that you say? You don't believe me?
I know. I know. This isn't the first time I've claimed that I was going to start working on my Master's. You have reason to doubt me; I understand. But this time I'm really going to do it. I swear!
And you want to know the really cool thing?
Thanks to recent changes to the GI Bill, my education will be paid for entirely by the Gov't. Mike has the option of signing his GI Bill over to one of his dependents... and... well... that's me! Because he can get a Master's through the Marine Corps as part of his ongoing officer training for free... he doesn't really need it. Lucky me! Ain't life grand?
To sum things up: I am actually succeeding in not complaining about work! Shocker! I'm still confused as ever about what I will do next year; I am, however, going to pursue my Master's Degree; I swear! And the Federal Gov't will be paying for it. Niiice.
The End.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The Dreaded Countdown
One of the worst things about deployment is the countdown to deployment. I believe it might be comparable to the countdown of, say, a death row inmate.
Other military bloggers have written about the awful countdown to deployment and how sometimes you just start to feel like you want them to get out of here already so that you can start the good kind of counting down. The countdown to the homecoming.
I certainly haven't reached that place yet. I'm not quite ready to kick Mike out the door. I want my hubby to stick around as long as possible.
But he doesn't make things any easier one me, that's for sure. I cannot tell you how many times he has lamented (out loud) the fact that he will be gone when that movie comes out in theaters, or he won't be able to watch a certain tv show to it's season finale because he will be gone before it's over. He does it multiple times a day. Every day.
Just today, I asked him to call and order some food for dinner so that I could pick it up. His response? "You might as well get used to doing it now because in x days I will be gone, and you'll have to do all the ordering."
Grrr...
Or when I asked him to help me fold up the elliptical the other day... he tsked me like a disappointed parent and sighed, "If you can't remember how to do it now, how will you manage to do it while I'm gone?"
I don't say anything, though. Because, I realize these comments are part of his coping method. I mean, I'm losing him for a year, yes. He's losing his whole life as he knows it for a year. It must be an odd thing to wrap your brain around.
I recently read a blog post about a lady whose husband got sent off on a deployment at the last minute. She said she much preferred it; because there was no dreadful countdown. It was quick and easy.
I can certainly understand.
Recently, the calendar has become my worst enemy. Every time I look at it I think x days until Mike leaves. We have x weekends together before he leaves. We only have x amount of days to accomplish the things we need to do before he goes.
All of this anticipation could really drive a person crazy.
But, you know, to be quite honest.... I'm just happy he's here. For now. For a moment last night and a couple minutes this morning I actually let my imagination run away with itself and started to get really miserable about our impending 1 year separation. I refuse to put myself through that for very long, though. Because I want to cherish the time I have with him now.
If only he would stop the constant... "I will be gone when..." talk. And if only I could find a way to live in a world with no calendars.
If only.
Other military bloggers have written about the awful countdown to deployment and how sometimes you just start to feel like you want them to get out of here already so that you can start the good kind of counting down. The countdown to the homecoming.
I certainly haven't reached that place yet. I'm not quite ready to kick Mike out the door. I want my hubby to stick around as long as possible.
But he doesn't make things any easier one me, that's for sure. I cannot tell you how many times he has lamented (out loud) the fact that he will be gone when that movie comes out in theaters, or he won't be able to watch a certain tv show to it's season finale because he will be gone before it's over. He does it multiple times a day. Every day.
Just today, I asked him to call and order some food for dinner so that I could pick it up. His response? "You might as well get used to doing it now because in x days I will be gone, and you'll have to do all the ordering."
Grrr...
Or when I asked him to help me fold up the elliptical the other day... he tsked me like a disappointed parent and sighed, "If you can't remember how to do it now, how will you manage to do it while I'm gone?"
I don't say anything, though. Because, I realize these comments are part of his coping method. I mean, I'm losing him for a year, yes. He's losing his whole life as he knows it for a year. It must be an odd thing to wrap your brain around.
I recently read a blog post about a lady whose husband got sent off on a deployment at the last minute. She said she much preferred it; because there was no dreadful countdown. It was quick and easy.
I can certainly understand.
Recently, the calendar has become my worst enemy. Every time I look at it I think x days until Mike leaves. We have x weekends together before he leaves. We only have x amount of days to accomplish the things we need to do before he goes.
All of this anticipation could really drive a person crazy.
But, you know, to be quite honest.... I'm just happy he's here. For now. For a moment last night and a couple minutes this morning I actually let my imagination run away with itself and started to get really miserable about our impending 1 year separation. I refuse to put myself through that for very long, though. Because I want to cherish the time I have with him now.
If only he would stop the constant... "I will be gone when..." talk. And if only I could find a way to live in a world with no calendars.
If only.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Quotable
Conversation in my classroom after a series of 5/6 grade how-to speeches...
Me: That went well, just a bit chaotic
5th Grader: Isn't chaos part of your job description, Mrs. (Sorry)?
Me: Yes. Yes it is.
:)
Me: That went well, just a bit chaotic
5th Grader: Isn't chaos part of your job description, Mrs. (Sorry)?
Me: Yes. Yes it is.
:)
Thursday, February 18, 2010
I think I'll give up complaining about my job for Lent this year
This year for Lent I'm considering giving up complaining about my job. I'm not sure I'll be able to stick to it, but I figure it's probably worth a shot. Who knows? Without the complaining maybe I'll start to focus on all of the great things and start truly love it.
I'm up-in-the-air on whether I will be signing a contract for my 5th year there. I mean, I know I've said a thousand times this is my last year but it's just downright scary leaving job security in this economy. That and we just got these new literature/language arts books that we will start using next year that I love love l ove love love and I'm totally bummed thinking someone else will get to breeze in and use this series while I worked through blood, sweat, and tears creating my curriculum from scratch.
Basically put, I'm having trouble letting go.
I'm also having trouble with the idea of staying for various reasons, so I'm just kind of sitting around waiting for a bolt of lightning or some other kind of undeniable sign to tell me what I should do.
Mike is leaving soon. Too soon. For that year long deployment thing I've been telling you about. I figure there's no reason for me to make any decisions until after he leaves. So that's what I'll do. Maybe then I can get a better idea of how unbearable living alone with the doggies and working 40 minutes from home really is. Who knows, maybe my memory is worse than reality. I kind of doubt it, but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.
In any case. I'm still here. As confused as ever. But I'm pretty okay with it for now. I'm not okay with the impending farewell of my hubby. I'll survive though. I always do.
I'm up-in-the-air on whether I will be signing a contract for my 5th year there. I mean, I know I've said a thousand times this is my last year but it's just downright scary leaving job security in this economy. That and we just got these new literature/language arts books that we will start using next year that I love love l ove love love and I'm totally bummed thinking someone else will get to breeze in and use this series while I worked through blood, sweat, and tears creating my curriculum from scratch.
Basically put, I'm having trouble letting go.
I'm also having trouble with the idea of staying for various reasons, so I'm just kind of sitting around waiting for a bolt of lightning or some other kind of undeniable sign to tell me what I should do.
Mike is leaving soon. Too soon. For that year long deployment thing I've been telling you about. I figure there's no reason for me to make any decisions until after he leaves. So that's what I'll do. Maybe then I can get a better idea of how unbearable living alone with the doggies and working 40 minutes from home really is. Who knows, maybe my memory is worse than reality. I kind of doubt it, but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.
In any case. I'm still here. As confused as ever. But I'm pretty okay with it for now. I'm not okay with the impending farewell of my hubby. I'll survive though. I always do.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Our Weekend
I was just a little Debbie Downer last post now wasn't I? The funny thing is that the Friday after I posted that was a totally awesome day. I didn't expect it at all, but because it was the last day of school before Valentine's Day a the students showered me with Valentines. It was oh so sweet.
The best part was that that evening Michael and I put the dogs in the kennel and headed off to LA for our weekend getaway. Destination: Universal Studios.
Our hotel was literally a 4 minute walk and a 2 minute shuttle ride to the park. We arrived Friday night, settled in, turned on a movie, put in an order for breakfast room service and dozed off in our luxurious king sized bed.
The next morning we woke up to our breakfast of eggs, hashbrowns, sausage, toast, and fruit (which we continued to order every single morning we were there - what can I say? we adored it). We got ready and headed out the door for a fun-filled day at Universal Studios.
While there we experienced an awesome 3D Terminator attraction where my hubby embarrassed me by yelling out a question to the lead actress, a wild Simpsons animated ride that felt 100% real (I'm glad it wasn't though b/c the roller coaster fell off the tracks multiple times and if it had been real we certainly would not have survived the ride), a Famous Animals show where we got to see some dogs, cats, monkeys, and birds from various movies perform some interesting tricks, a Backdraft attraction where we experienced the creation of the explosive fire scenes, an audience involved special effects attraction (which was one of my very favorites of the day), and an hour long back-lot studio tour where we got to see (amidst other things) sets from Jaws, War of the Worlds, and Psycho. We also got to see general sets used in various films.. for example... the country town used in The Color Purple, a wild west set, and a generic set that they use to depict various European cities. Because it was a holiday weekend and they weren't filming, we even got to drive down Wisteria Lane....
After a full day at the park we headed out of Universal Studios to their City Walk for some dinner and a movie. Saturday night's movie was my choice. I chose Valentine's Day. Mike describes it as an American version of Love Actually. I agree.
After the movie we stopped in at one of the restaurant bars for some drinks before heading home.
The next morning we woke up for our room service breakfast and promptly fell back to sleep. We were exhausted!
We didn't head back to Universal Studios until past noon, and even then we decided to skip the actual park and stick to the City Walk. We had lunch at a lovely Mexican restaurant and headed to the movie theater again for Mike's movie choice....Wolfman. It was pretty good. It kept my attention and at no point during the movie did I announce that I wanted to leave. In my book that makes it pretty good.
After the movie we explored the City Walk a bit. Mike bought a new watch. I bought a magnet.
We had Valentine's Day dinner reservations at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club. We paid a little bit extra for a package that included a booth, dinner, dessert, and a bottle of champagne. There were 4 comics that night. The first was very funny. The middle two were OK. The last (and the headliner) was hilarious. He had me laughing. Hysterically. The whole time. I would definitely pay to see Eric Schwartz again. All in all, definitely a memorable and fun Valentine's Day dinner.
After that, we headed back to our hotel's awesome lounge for some late evening drinks and retired for the evening.
We got up the next morning, enjoyed our last breakfast in bed (sigh), checked out of our hotel, and headed back to the Universal Studios City Walk so that Mike could fulfill his life-long dream and fly. Literally. fly.
He was so happy after he got to do this. He couldn't stop grinning. It was honestly the cutest thing ever.
Sadly, I am a gigantic whimp so did not join him in this adventure. At least this way, he has some great pictures documenting his experience.
Before leaving Los Angeles (which was BEAUTIFUL 70's and 80's weather all weekend, I must add) Michael insisted that we make a stop on Hollywood Blvd to visit Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum
and among other things....
Michael got to assist Quentin Tarantino on the set of Kill Bill...
Jim Carey and I got to catch up, and boy did he ever think I was great.
And as it turned out... American Idol was really short on guest judges, so we got to stand in.
We had a blast. What a fantastic way to spend our weekend.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Nothing to Wear... and... Words
I just got finished spending at least a half hour trying to figure out what I am going to wear tomorrow and wallowing in a bit of self-loathing.
Eventually I just gave up. I have the ability to work myself into such a frenzy over these things that my mind stops thinking rational thoughts and finding something to wear actually becomes impossible.
So I did what any rational person in that situation would do. I wasted many minutes of my life on facebook. It is truly one of the greatest time-wasting inventions ever known to man, second only to video games.
And now here I sit. Writing a blog post. Because I have nothing to wear to work tomorrow. And I am going a little bit insane over it.
If I could wear jeans all of my problems would be solved and my world would be a happy place. I just bought a GrEaT pair of jeans and am desperate to wear them.
Alas. It is not to be.
In other news, for the first time in my career as a teacher I discovered a very unkind note about me in one of the desks in my classroom. Or, actually, some 6th grade boys handed it to me with very grave expressions on their faces, begged me not to tell anyone that they were the ones who gave it to me, and ran (literally) out of the room. It said" "Mrs. (Sorry) big fat I hate you"
Ouch.
What it means exactly, I'm not sure. Whether they were actually calling me fat is debatable... did they mean to finish that phrase as in, "big fat jerk"? It's hard to say. It doesn't really matter though. I get the gist of it. Simply stated, someone was very very angry with me and dislike(d)(s) me very much.
I'm ready for this week to be over. I mean, it wasn't all bad, but wouldn't you know I must be a pessimist. Because, this dumb note has gotten me all upset and feeling like a worthless teacher. Nevermind the 6th grader who has stayed after class every day to seek advice about the boy she likes who used to like her and asked her out but she said no and now he hates her but she likes him..... Nevermind my excitement over my awesome language arts lesson based on the Black Eyed Peas song "Where is the Love" that had the kids all motivated and interested and yes! Success! Nevermind all the good. All I can see right now is that stupid note and what could possibly have led someone to write it.
At the risk of sounding repetitive... all I can think of right now is a quote I have mentioned in my blog before and that I have across the wall in the front of my classroom, "Words can hurt or heal. What did yours do today?"
Eventually I just gave up. I have the ability to work myself into such a frenzy over these things that my mind stops thinking rational thoughts and finding something to wear actually becomes impossible.
So I did what any rational person in that situation would do. I wasted many minutes of my life on facebook. It is truly one of the greatest time-wasting inventions ever known to man, second only to video games.
And now here I sit. Writing a blog post. Because I have nothing to wear to work tomorrow. And I am going a little bit insane over it.
If I could wear jeans all of my problems would be solved and my world would be a happy place. I just bought a GrEaT pair of jeans and am desperate to wear them.
Alas. It is not to be.
In other news, for the first time in my career as a teacher I discovered a very unkind note about me in one of the desks in my classroom. Or, actually, some 6th grade boys handed it to me with very grave expressions on their faces, begged me not to tell anyone that they were the ones who gave it to me, and ran (literally) out of the room. It said" "Mrs. (Sorry) big fat I hate you"
Ouch.
What it means exactly, I'm not sure. Whether they were actually calling me fat is debatable... did they mean to finish that phrase as in, "big fat jerk"? It's hard to say. It doesn't really matter though. I get the gist of it. Simply stated, someone was very very angry with me and dislike(d)(s) me very much.
I'm ready for this week to be over. I mean, it wasn't all bad, but wouldn't you know I must be a pessimist. Because, this dumb note has gotten me all upset and feeling like a worthless teacher. Nevermind the 6th grader who has stayed after class every day to seek advice about the boy she likes who used to like her and asked her out but she said no and now he hates her but she likes him..... Nevermind my excitement over my awesome language arts lesson based on the Black Eyed Peas song "Where is the Love" that had the kids all motivated and interested and yes! Success! Nevermind all the good. All I can see right now is that stupid note and what could possibly have led someone to write it.
At the risk of sounding repetitive... all I can think of right now is a quote I have mentioned in my blog before and that I have across the wall in the front of my classroom, "Words can hurt or heal. What did yours do today?"
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