Baby and Dogs

Every time I see a picture like the one above I feel a bit wistful.

This is not my dog or my baby. Unfortunately, we have discovered our dogs are not very kid friendly. This might have something to do with the fact that they lived the first 5 and 6 years of their lives without any regular contact with little people. This could be because both of our dogs are incredibly neurotic. Possibly it's poor training on our part. Whatever the reason, I would be shocked if I were ever to find either of my dogs in such a pose with our baby boy, and I don't think I'd be too comfortable with it either.

I'm kind of surprised that my 5-year-old nephew is still clinging onto his love for dogs after all that he has been through with mine. While the dogs and I were on the East Coast for a few months this spring/winter they had a lot of time to bond with Lucas and it was pretty much a disaster. Lucas wanted nothing more than to cuddle with our normally very friendly border collie, but he wanted nothing to do with Lucas. Unless Lucas was throwing the ball to him, or running around the house in which case Ramsey enjoyed nothing more than chasing Lucas and giving him a few nips to the heels as if Lucas were a sheep.

fail.

Lucas and our husky got along okay at first. Copper even let Lucas rest his head on him a few times, and I thought to myself... maybe I do have one of those dogs from the pictures. Maybe it's possible? That is... until Lucas tried to cuddle or play with Copper when he wasn't in the mood. This resulted in either a growl or a snap. It happened more than once, I'm sad to say, and in the end despite the fact that Lucas absolutely adores both dogs and proclaims them to be HIS dogs and HIS cousins, we had to separate them. I certainly do not want to be responsible for Lucas getting hurt by one of my dogs which seemed to be the direction we were heading.

Then my baby was born and I knew from the instant he arrived that we were going to have to be very cautious with having the dogs around him. Under no circumstances should dogs and baby be left alone together. Dogs need to learn to respect baby and baby's space. I was nervous and hyper aware that these dogs, despite having failed miserably at interacting with my nephew in an acceptable manner, were going to have to figure out how to be around my son.

On his second day at the house after leaving the hospital, we had just given Sawyer a bath. My mom, Michael, and I were all standing around Sawyer as he lay on the bed.... and Copper walked up very nonchalantly, opened his mouth, and lightly placed it around Sawyer's arm. Michael and I both reacted immediately, and I'm pretty sure that Copper got the idea that Sawyer was off limits. It scared the crap out of us, though. If we had any lingering questions about whether we should trust our dogs with Sawyer, I believe they were answered then.

After that, Copper treated Sawyer like he had the plague. If you walked into a room holding Sawyer, Copper walked out. I didn't want Copper to be afraid of being around Sawyer, but I did appreciate the fact that he was giving him some space.

Recently, Copper has begun to pay some attention to Sawyer. At least once every single day, Copper will walk up to Sawyer, give him some sniffs, and a little lick. Mike thinks it's a great sign. I'm undecided. Sometimes I let Copper do it, sometimes I tell him no. I want Copper to know that I'm in control of the situation, not him.

The other day, Sawyer was having a rough time after getting a few of his vaccines. I was sitting with him on the bed in my room and he was crying. Copper, who was lying on the bed when we went into the room, moved to the end of the bed and positioned himself away from us. Eventually, as Sawyer continued to fuss, Copper turned and looked. Sawyer stopped fussing and focused on watching Copper. As they looked at each other, Copper scooted his body closer. and closer. and closer. Until he was lying right next to us on the bed. He gave Sawyer a little lick and then jumped off the bed and left the room.

It was cute, and it gave me some small hope that maybe Copper is learning and understanding that Sawyer is precious to me and should be treated with care. And maybe, just maybe when Copper is old and tired and Sawyer is a little boy they will be the best of friends.

Do I dare hope?

Attention Deficit Disorder

Now that the Federal Government finally got their crap together and passed a budget, our orders to South Carolina might actually go through which means we're looking at a move across the country in... less than 2 months.

yikes.

I am not sure why, but my sense of urgency about preparing for this move is just not quite there. I mean, I have a to-do list that is quite lengthy written on the marker board on our fridge... we just haven't managed to check off any of those boxes just yet.

This could have a bit to do with the fact that my life has been consumed momentarily with the eradication of these rats that decided to take up residence in our attic. UGH. I don't even really want to go there, just know that said rats caused me to become momentarily insane last weekend when I was left alone with them and my baby. Google is not your friend in these sorts of situations. Neither, I learned, is my aunt who decided to tell me that when she was in college a rat dug through her kitchen floor......... hello, worst nightmare!

(which kind of makes me want to veer from the subject for the moment and vent about how there is always someone who manages to say the absolute worst thing in sensitive situations... the above rat comment being a phenomenal example. Another example from my own personal experience went something like this: Oh, your mom doesn't wear a wig? (while going through chemo for breast cancer) I had a friend with breast cancer who didn't wear wigs and there was something so beautiful about her bald head. She's dead now." yooowza. thanks for that uplifting story!!)

[back to the rats]

The "professionals" are taking care of it, though... and they're doing a crap-tastic job of it in my humble opinion. Better them than me, though. And that's really all I have to say about that.

After reading this post do you now have a slight understanding why it takes me so long to clean my house? It goes something like this:
*putting away dishes
*looks to the right and sees a napkin that needs to be thrown away
*walks over and picks up napkin
*trips over shoe
*picks up shoe and heads to the bedroom, napkin still in hand
*notices that the mail arrived
*heads outside to get mail, shoe and napkin still in hand
*walks back inside and walks in a circle trying to decide what to do first? shoe? napkin? mail?

I am very easily distracted.

The End.

stuff and things

In this blog post I will be covering the following ideas which may or may not be related:

I'm spending Thursday - Sunday alone with Sawyer while Mike is on the East Coast being a groomsman in his cousin's wedding.

Both Mike and I have recently been spending a lot of time weighing the pros and cons of staying in the marine corps vs. getting out

We have rats in our attic

Yes. spending alone time with Sawyer. Nervous about the prospect of 4 days without Mike as back-up. Super sad that Mike is seeing the family but I and (most importantly) Sawyer are not. This was my decision. Just the thought of this trip overwhelmed me beyond belief. That plus the exorbitant cost of flying us across the country helped me to decide that Sawyer and I should stay behind. I don't really regret my decision, but I am very, very, VERY sad that Sawyer will be at least 6 months old before anyone in our family gets to see him again. They are missing out, let me tell you.

Mike. Possibly getting out of the USMC (in 2 years after we do our next tour in Parris Island, South Carolina). Of course, the most practical decision is for Mike to stay in. Incredible health insurance. check. Amazing retirement. check. Steady paycheck. CHECK.

However, there's this whole thing about all of these wars and marines going to them and bla bla bla. I mean, we have a kid involved in this whole thing now and will most likely have another one sometime in the somewhat near future... Four days without Michael is throwing me through a freaking loop... what will I do without him for months and months on end while he deploys? Not to mention that, you know, these kids kind of need a Daddy in their lives so I'd prefer not to be sending him off to do dangerous things. Ya know what I'm saying? Yep. Also? If we're not part of the usmc world we can live near our family and all that good stuff. Lots to think about.

rats. di-freaking-sgusting. As I was pulling into my garage the other night, my headlights zoned in on a giant rat scaling the top of our garage wall and disappearing into a hole that could only lead to our attic. Since then we've been hearing a lot of noise above us. We called the exterminators and they're taking care of the situation. They came yesterday and set up some traps... said we'd be hearing them going off... I've only heard one and am now thinking that I just spent a butt load of money to have the professionals come in and kill one rat. I wouldn't be too terribly heartbroken over the loss of money if that were the case. It would be my kind of luck, though.

All in all, I'm deathly afraid of said rats and will not step foot inside of my garage until I have assurance that they (he, she, it?) are gone. I can't believe I'm in this house alone while rats are dying above me. (see how this is coming together?)

On another note, my alone time with Sawyer is going pretty well so far. We took a 3 hour nap together this morning, and he's currently nestled in his crib working on his third nap of the day. Also, when I asked him what he wanted to do with his alone time with mommy, he gave me the biggest, brightest smile and I thought I would die from the cuteness.

that is all.

The Many Ways My Life Has Changed Since Becoming a Mommy

1. If my house is messy it's because I just haven't had a chance to clean it up - not because I've been lazy

2. There are days when I do not sit down at my computer one.single.time.

3. Sawyer is always my first thought.

ex. 1: a possible radiation cloud heading towards So Cal? OMG - how can I protect Sawyer? (totally was no big deal, but that doesn't mean I didn't spend at least a few hours freaking out about it).

ex. 2: whoa - my eyes are really bloodshot. What if I have pink eye? What if SAWYER gets PINK EYE?!?!?!

4. Michael often goes grocery shopping and doesn't do a half bad job of it.

5. Dinner time is often delayed until 7 pm or possibly even 8. Usually after Sawyer is slumbering peacefully in his crib. note: pre-parent-Sarah freaked out if she didn't have dinner between the hours of 4 and 5:30 pm. no joke.

6. We haven't been able to keep up with our DVR'd tv shows.

7. The slightest mention of babies/parent love for babies/cute baby things makes me choke up

8. I have great remorse for all of the times I have judged other parents - both silently and out loud. I am truly humbled and realize that this parenthood thing is not easy and we are all just fumbling around clumsily while hoping and praying for the very best.

9. My heart skips a beat every time I hear a baby cry - on tv, at the store....

10. My heart explodes with love and joy every time I look at my baby boy.

My Toys

For Christmas I was lucky to receive the Amazon Kindle from my parents. Even though I asked for it, I was a little bit nervous that I would have a problem reading novels from a screen instead of a page. I had no need to worry, though. The beauty of the kindle is that it looks exactly like the page from a book and nothing like a computer screen. It was also my lifesaver when Sawyer was first born and nursing him took a minimum of 40 minutes every single time. Instead of sitting and staring at the wall for 40 minutes, I took the opportunity to finish several novels on my kindle. While I would never have been able to manage nursing my baby and a bulky book, the little kindle was no problemo. The last thing I love about the Kindle is that it helps me choose books to read. Maybe I'm alone on this one, but a trip to the library or bookstore was always a very overwhelming experience for me. I tended to literally choose a book by it's cover, but that is no more. Not only do other users write their recommendations, but you can search for books using lots of different criteria, and once you've read a few books the kindle will start recommending books to you which has also been very helpful. All in all, I love my Kindle!

This summer while traveling across the country with my dad, I realized that the two of us were probably the last two people on the planet who weren't getting internet and email on our phones. At the time, I was proud of that fact. For Mike's 30th birthday, though, he got the iPhone 4 and passed his iTouch down to me. After I started using the iTouch a bit, I started turning my green-with-envy eyes towards Mike's phone. I, however, did not want to spend a couple hundred dollars on a cell phone. You can imagine my glee when AT&T started advertising the iPhone 3GS for only $49.99. Perfect! I must say, now that I have the iPhone, I really can't imagine living without it. It is especially useful to me now, since I am completely addicted to facebook and email but often don't even have the chance to sit down at my computer one single time during my very busy stay-at-home-mommy-day. The iPhone 3GS has saved me from getting the shakes and having to go into facebook withdrawal rehab. Thank you, iPhone! You are a lifesaver. Literally.

Last but not least, my new computer the HP TouchSmart 300 PC. Though the iPhone helps me manage my facebook and email shakes, there's much I can't do on it. (this BLOG, Sawyer's website, bills...etcetcetcetc). Our home computer served us for approx. 6 years, but died over the summer, came back to life, and died for good last week. Mike and I took to computer shopping, and of course, couldn't pass up such a neat computer. The coolest thing about this computer? The setup = plug in the computer. Literally. Goodbye thousands of confusing cords. Hello simplicity! I love our new computer and highly recommend it to anyone else in the market. It was also very affordable. We got a refurbished one from bestbuy.com and haven't had any trouble with it at all.

I know we should be saving our money for Sawyer's toys, but these three items were pretty much necessities, and I love my new toys!

Last night Sawyer slept 9 hours without waking. It was quite the event. When he did finally wake up to eat, he didn't want to go right back to sleep as is his usual pattern in the early am. He wanted to celebrate a bit. So I put him on my bed, and he talked to me for a bit. I started to get a little sleepy, so I placed my hand on his chest and closed my eyes for a moment.

When I opened them, his hands were resting on mine and he was staring intently at me. I stared back. While we gazed lovingly into one another's eyes, I thought about how lucky I am to have a precious little guy who brings so much joy to my life.

Not all of my days with him are great. In fact, I often feel like a bumbling idiot and find myself frustrated at my inability to figure out what he wants and needs.

But he loves me despite my shortcomings. He is actually completely fascinated with me. Just as he stared so intently and lovingly at me this morning, so he does the same thing when I am on the phone or talking with Mike. Any time my attention is not completely on him, he takes that opportunity to thorougly examine me. I wonder what he thinks as he gazes with those big inquiring eyes. I hope he realizes that I may not be perfect, but I'm his... that I love him with everything in me, and I will be the best mother I can be for him.

I hope he understands these things. Somehow, I believe that he does.

gearing up for change

As it turns out, Mike and I will not be gracing the greater Washington, DC area with our presence anytime soon. Bummer. Mike found out that the school he was hoping to attend requires you to apply a year in advance. oops. Apparently it wasn't always this way, which is why the older Marines who told him he should go there didn't know to tell him about the whole applying a year in advance thing. oh well.

goodbye free place to live!
so long close proximity to family!

sigh.

It looks like we will be heading East afterall, though. Southeast. South Carolina, y'all.

Mike will have to report by Sept. 30, so atleast I get my wish of enjoying one last summer with my pool.

It looks like we're going to have to keep the house and join the ranks of all those landlords out there. When we bought this house almost 5 years ago, we thought it was foolproof (OR, Mike and his parents thought it was foolproof. I was scared to death, but nobody ever listens to the paranoid girl now do they?). Soon thereafter the market collapsed and we are so upside down in this house it's best not to even think about it because it's just much too depressing. Funny thing is, the military has this program called HAP that helps people who are in bad situations because of the real estate CRISIS -- they will either buy your house from you or pay the difference if you can't sell the house for what you owe. BUT - in reading the fine lines, you had to have bought your house by July 2006 in order to be elligible. Doncha knowit? We bought our house in Sept. 2006. A measly 2 months.

welcome to my life.

In any case, if we can just manage to hold onto this house long enough it will certainly be a moneymaker for us in the long run. It'll be a huge thorn in our side until then, though. A huge, spiky, pain inducing thorn.

South Carolina seems nice, though. The location is just a short distance from Hilton Head and Savannah, so we'll have some fun places to explore and visit while we're there. Also, it is a non-deploying job for Mike which is why we're choosing it (yep, the Marine Corps actually gives you a couple of choices). It will be nice to have him home for the 2 full years that we will be stationed there. (I currently feel the need to knock vigorously on wood because Mike has received INCORRECT intel so many times throughout his career with the USMC that I probably would not fall over from shock if we arrived in SC and he found out he would indeed be deploying.... no, I'm not a pessimist. It's called REALISM.)

In any case,
It's hard to believe that by the time we move, my little 2 month old munchkin will be almost 10 months old!

2011 is sure to be an interesting year.