Bizarre

One of the teachers at my school dislikes me, and I have absolutely no idea why.

Now, normally, I absolutely HATE it when people hate me. But, somehow, in this case, it doesn't bug me so much. I just really think it is absolutely totally and completely bizarre.

The thing about it is, it took me almost an entire school year to realize it. Because, she's not mean to me. I mean, how can someone be mean when they literally do not acknowledge my existence. That's what she does. She ignores me.

I guess the reason it took me so long to notice is because she wasn't being snotty or unkind. She wasn't being anything. I just assumed she was that way with everyone.

Then, at some point, the realization slowly began to dawn on me that she absolutely is not that way with everyone. In fact, with everyone else she is very friendly. She greets the other teachers with a bright smile and a pleasant, "Good Morning!"

But me? She doesn't even look at me. It's weird, because even now, 3 years later, every single time I see her, I will look at her prepared to smile and give her my greeting. But.. she doesn't even look my way. It's as if I am invisible.

The times when I have actually spoken a greeting or a farewell (despite her lack of eye-contact or visible awareness of my presence) to her, she has responded a dead-pan almost whisper, "hello". Nothing like the bright smile and vibrant greeting I have witnessed her giving the other teachers at the school.

It's possible that you may be doubting me on this, and that's okay, because I have doubted myself as well. In fact, on multiple occasions I have convinced myself that I am crazy - that there is no way this woman is singling me out and treating me differently than she treats everyone else at the school.

Recently, I had decided that possibly it was just that we didn't really have anything in common. She teaches 2nd grade; I teach jr. high. I'm a good 15 years younger than she is. She's probably my polar opposite as far as personalities go. Possibly, I told myself, she doesn't dislike me. Possibly, it's just that we don't know each other very well, and she's uncomfortable around me. Possibly.

Well, that theory flew right out the window when the new teacher arrived. The-teacher-who-ignores has literally gone out of her way to befriend the new teacher. It just doesn't make any sense. The new teacher is younger than me. Her personality is not similar to the-teacher-who-ignores. And, she, also, teaches jr. high.

Recently, in the lunchroom, the-teacher-who-ignores actually spoke to me. She was asking me for the 8th graders' song choice for our Christmas sing-a-long since she is in charge of it. But, hey, I mean, she looked me dead in the eye and spoke to me. I nearly collapsed from the shock.

After that, I thought we had made some progress. I thought after her acknowledgement of my presence in the world we might soon graduate to sincere greetings and farewells. I thought wrong.

Which leads me to the incident that got me to write this blog.

This afternoon, the new teacher and I were in the teacher work-room discussing our confusion about an upcoming event at the school. The teacher-who-ignores walked in and was present for a good portion of our conversation. Let's just say she was there long enough to understand that both the new teacher and I were confused about the upcoming event. But, when she jumped into the conversation to clarify things, she was clearly speaking only to the new teacher.

Have you ever been standing in a group of people and had someone come into the group and stand in front of you, boxing you out of the conversation? I don't know how she managed it, but that's basically what she did to me this afternoon.


I'm not even upset. I don't even care that she dislikes me. At this point, I just really want to know why. Obviously, I have wronged her in some way. Clearly, I have done something to this woman, something that I am genuinely unaware of.

Bizarre.