My Week in Review

This week was a big week for me. It was the week I've been preparing for all year long, the week of my 8th grade students' graduation. Graduation is a big deal for ME because I had the wonderful task of planning graduation AND announcing graduation. If I thought planning it was a doozy, announcing was quite the task for me. I didn't think I was nervous about it until I had to sit through an hour long mass beforehand. During the mass I did my very best to keep myself calm and collected. I think I succeeded in atleast LOOKING calm and collected, but my insides definitely did not match my outside.

I generally get very nervous before getting up in front of a large group of people. But, I had NEVER spoken in front of such a large crowd before (my guess is 200 people were in attendance.. including all of my co-workers, boss, and parish priests). So, as I waited for the big graduation moment to arrive.. I practiced deep breathing... and for the first time in my life was actually so nervous that I was afraid I would faint. I actually felt that warmth that rises in my face when I'm about to pass out. It was THAT bad.

But, it was good moment for me. I spoke beautifully (from what I could tell) and did not stumble over my words once. I stood tall and straight, folded my hands on the podium, and in my mind looked and sounded quite more professional and mature than my 26 years of life experience.

The sad thing of it all... none of my loved ones were there for my "big" moment. My husband is out of town for our "Deployment Practice", and that night was mine alone... with no one to share in my fear and joy.

*Sigh. And, here is where military life gets hard. When your spouse misses out on these big landmark moments in your life.. it's tough.

But, that is one of those things that makes military life different than normal life. When your spouse is gone you lead two separate lives. You experience life separately and have experiences that you can share with one another, but the reality is, you will never fully understand what it is your spouse has been through. It actually goes against the very definition of marriage of growing together.

I do feel proud and validated in the knowledge that though the adjustment was not easy at first, when my hubby returned from his first deployment, our marriage grew and strengthened more than ever. I know that we are stronger than anything that comes our way; because, let's face it.. we've been through more together than most married couples will go through in their lifetimes together. And, when I hear about the struggles that some couples that I know face, I thank my lucky stars for a husband who has changed and grown with me.. and who loves me more every day.