Breathe Deeply

Last night I received some news that caused me to take a deep breath. It wasn't a shock to hear that instead of signing my husband's MOS change request and passing it on to Headquarters Marine Corps, the MAG is holding onto it for the next year so that they can fill a BTT billet with none other than my husband. If it sounds like I'm speaking Greek to you, all you need to know is that it was affirmed yesterday that my husband will be leaving for a seven month deployment to Iraq in September. He will be doing a BTT tour which stands for Border Transition Team in which he will be on the ground training Iraqi soldiers to guard their own borders.

Deep Breath.

As I already mentioned above, this assignment wasn't the least bit unexpected. I had been mentally preparing myself for this news since the unofficial word came to my husband about this deployment two months ago. This is why, when my husband told me on the phone on his way home from work that it was official, I didn't burst into tears. I didn't scream. I didn't get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I simply said... "oh"... and then I immediately dialed my mom's cell phone and told her. Her response was, "Well....is that good news or bad news?".... to which I responded, "I don't know. That's what I was hoping you would tell me."

You might ask, how could a 7 month deployment to guard the borders of Iraq possibly be considered a "good" thing?

Deep Breath.

It's just that in weighing the alternatives, Hubby and I decided that a deployment in September wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen to us. First of all, it would guarantee us another year in San Diego (and considering the fact that we are homeowners and the housing market has bottomed out, another year in San Diego would really be beneficial for us). Secondly, the fact of the matter is that we just make more money when Hubby is in Iraq. And, considering that we want to start putting ourselves in a position where I can quit my job and we can start having kids, we need to start paying off some of our larger bills. Everyone who has been through one knows there's nothing better than a deployment to help you pay off some debt!

Gulp.

Then the nagging part of my mind starts to butt in on my thoughts. There's a very real part of me that knows that the deployment my husband was on last time was paradise compared to what he will be dealing with on the ground.. on the border.. training Iraqi troops. They didn't call Al Asad (where he was stationed) Camp Cupcake for nothing. When George Bush went to Iraq, he went to Al Asad. Why? Because Al Asad is the safest place in Iraq. When Mike was in Iraq last time, the day to day burdens of living without a husband and his trials as a pilot were my biggest worries. I never spent more than a few minutes dwelling on the idea that he might not be safe. This time, things will be different.

Deep Breath.

But, if there's one thing I am good at, it is taking what comes as it comes. This is why, after hearing the news that my husband will be officially embarking on a not so luxurious deployment in September, all I have done is taken a couple deep breaths, and continually reminded myself that when I look back on myself 3 years ago, 2 years ago, even 1 year ago I have to smile. I am no longer the person that I was then. It just goes to show you how true it is... what doesn't kill you truly makes you stronger.

I am stronger because of what I have been through. I remember when my husband was in flight school, living in Florida and not even being able to FATHOM the idea of my husband deploying to Iraq. And, here I am... two and a half years later.. and I'm not only fathoming the idea of my husband's 2nd deployment... I'm standing up and saying, "Bring It On!"

Ok. so maybe it's more like Bring it On!
But, you have to admit.. that's better than nothing!

:)