Wake Up Call!

I really hate to say it, but I might be turning into one of those people that I hated in high school. You know, the ones who freaked out before every test and cried about how they were going to fail. And then, of course, they would get an A and act shocked about it. Those people made me want to puke.

And, I'm afraid.. I might be one of those people.. only worse. I might be one of those people in my WORKING world.

You see, my Fine Arts Performance today was a HIT. I was actually embarassed by the compliments that were being sent my way by fellow teachers. Their compliments made me reevaulate the performance; because, truthfully... I didn't think it was very good. And, anyone who knows me will tell you I'm not a perfectionist. So, something just isn't adding up here.

After today, the only thing that I know for sure is that I am going to have to come to grips with the idea that I might be one of those "I'M GOING TO FAIL" people that I rolled my eyes at in high school. *shudder*

Is it possible that those people truly believed that they would fail? I mean, I always knew they were full of shit and that they'd pass with flying colors. I assumed they knew the same but were putting on some big show for attention. But, with my recent experiences, I am beginning to think that maybe they really DID believe they would fail. Just like I REALLY DID believe my performances were going to flop BIG TIME.

Crazy.

A Visitor!

My brother's plane lands in the San Diego airport in just a few short hours! Yay! I am so excited for his visit.

He has actually never had the opportunity to visit me in any of the places I have lived.. and on top of that this will be his first time in California. So, I figure it will be a fun visit.

I feel proud any time someone gets to see my life for the first time. When I look around, I know that I am blessed with so many amazing things that I sometimes take for granted; so, it's nice to see my life from someone else's perspective every now and then.

Although, I don't expect a lot of compliments or groveling from my brother. I already warned my husband not to be offended if instead of complimenting, my brother teases us about everything. Teasing is just the way that my brother, my dad, and I share affection. :)

I do have to say, though, that I am sore and aching from the HOURS of crazy maniacal cleaning I did yesterday, and I can't help but realize deep down that my labors could not be LESS appreciated than they will be by my brother. Of all the people I know, I'm sure that he wouldn't think twice if the dishes were piled up and I had huge piles of laundry on my bedroom floor. Believe me, I grew up with the boy.. I've seen his bedroom! .....And.. he's seen mine.. which is why my labors may not go unappreciated afterall! I'm sure he'll be shocked to see that I actually have a CLEAN house!

Knowing my brother, our first stop will be food! I've decided that his first meal will either be the notorious In-n-out Burger or Rubios Fish Tacos! Either one sounds good to me!

Also on our itinerary is: (in no particular order)
- La Jolla
- Old Town (for some great authentic Mexican food!)
- The San Diego Zoo

Other than that, we'll just play it by ear!

Go Figure

During the week, I wake up at the ungodly hour of 5:30 am. It is always extremely difficult for me to pry myself out of bed and get in the shower. Suffice it to say, I HATE mornings, and I can't stand having to get out of bed when it is still dark.

Oddly, however, this I'm on my Spring Break right now, and when my husband's alarm went off this morning at 5:20 I was wide awake. I tried to roll over and go back to sleep, but my body wasn't having it. So, I decided to read my book and figured I would get tired eventually and want to fall back to sleep. No such luck. Hmm. So, here I am at 6:30 am on my VACATION wide awake and ready to get to work on cleaning my house.

Life is strange like that. I actually have the chance to sleep in and am finding it impossible to do so. Go figure.

:)

time is precious

Last night our friends called us to hang out with them. But, we didn't go. At this point, I almost dread getting these invitations so often to hang out; because, 5 out of 10 times, we don't go. It's not that we don't enjoy hanging out with our friends, it's just that we REALLY enjoy hanging out with each other.

I think that the life we are leading right now puts everything into a unique perspective for us. We are only now just recovering from a 7 months separation, and already we are preparing for another 7 month separation. So, you see, it's not that we don't like hanging out with other people, it's just that right now.. our time is precious. We do what we WANT to do, not what we feel we SHOULD do.

I hope no one resents us for it.

That's just the way it is.

The Witch Fires Revisited

These days the San Diego wildfires of October seem like a distant memory. In fact, after 3 days of the greatest terror I have ever experienced, being displaced from my home, and living in fear that my home might be destroyed it was strange to come home to a house that was completely intact. With my butt planted on the couch at my friend's house in La Jolla for 72 hours and watching nothing but the news, there was a brief period where it seemed as though hell had reigned on the earth. It appeared to me as though all of San Diego was going up in flames.

So, you can imagine my surprise then, to find out that not only was my house still standing when I got home but that I had no idea where these elusive fires had been since there were no signs of singed trees or burnt houses anywhere I went.

Well, today, while visiting a nearby lake for the first time with my husband, I finally spotted proof that the fires had really occurred. And that, indeed, they were not far from my home.

Hubby and I were hiking along a trail with my dogs when he said, "Well, at least we finally get to see where the fires were."

I looked around me and said, "Where?!" --

Silly me. there were singed trees and burnt rocks all around me. How did I not even notice?

But it was beautiful. Barren black trees, still standing with the green of the new bushes and shrubberry growing up around them. Speaking of the Resurrection.. what greater image of resurrection than this?

Today on my way home from our hike, I decided that no place I ever live will ever match up to the beauty of San Diego. We have the most beautiful oceans, lakes, mountains, and deserts all in one place. Who could ask for more.

A "good" Good Friday

So far today I have been lucky enough to experience three of my "best feelings in the world". Today is Good Friday, and at the school that I teach the 8th grade class traditionally dramatizes the Stations of the Cross on this day. For the past two weeks, the thought of these Stations has been waking me up in the middle of the night with nervous pangs in my stomach. I've been worried. You see, when I accepted the 8th grade teacher position this year, I knew that I had BIG shoes to fill. The previous 8th grade teacher was greatly respected throughout the school and everything she ever did was FLAWLESS. So, I guess you can say that I was feeling pressure to measure up.

Today, my students pulled off the most reverent and breath taking dramatization that I could ever have hoped for. They had me tearing up. It was wonderful. I can't tell you how many people came up to me and complimented me on my leadership and my class on its beautiful performance.

So, as you see, already I had experienced two of my best feelings ever. 1) watching my students do something extraordinary and 2) being complimented by my fellow teachers, student's parents, etc.

After arriving home today, I was lucky enough to experience my third best feeling ever when my nephew (Lucas) left me a Happy Easter Greeting on my voicemail.

It went something like this:

"Hello Sawah"

"I la-loo"

"I miss you sa-wah"

"Happy Eafter"

"la loo, Sawah"

*ugh. so adorable it breaks my heart.

What a great day.

And to top it all off, my husband and I have plans of take a hike this afternoon around a local lake with our dogs. The sun is shining and it should be a beautiful way to end a beautiful day.

All I have to say is.. isn't it true that when you want time to fly by it crawls to a halt and when you want time to slow down it speeds up?!

That's how it is this week. You won't find anyone else in the world as ready as I am to close my classroom doors for Spring Break and yet this week just keeps DRAGGING ON AND ON! At 12:00 tomorrow afternoon I guarantee you that all the people at my school will hear is the screeching of my tires as I speed out of the school parking lot on my way to a week of freedom!!