Fall is descending upon the city of San Diego.. and with it a shadow seems to be edging its way into my brain. I don't know why, but with this cold weather brings low spirits for me. 5 1/2 months away from my husband now and these days it seems to only get harder.. not easier. Maybe things would be easier for me if my husband's future and career were not uncertain.. but they are.. so with the normal anxieties of having a husband deployed come extra anxieties of what the future will hold for us. I know I shouldn't be thinking about these things, but every time I talk to him he seems to only bear bad news... or a crushed spirit. So, talking to him now becomes a burden rather than a joy. I hate this f***ing "war". I hate it so much.
There goes my ever optimistic self.
Optimism is too tiring these days. I'm scared. I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm overwhelmed. These days, I am anything but optimistic.
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