Time for a Tour

Today we signed papers with a rental company. They say our house will officially be up for rent tomorrow.... I have bittersweet feelings about this whole thing. Before we leave this place (possibly for good), I thought I would take pictures of the house. It is and forever will be the very first home we ever own. I have my issues with it, but I imagine there will be a time when I will look back on it with wistfulness. Without further ado, I give you: My House.


Hello. Welcome to my neighborhood. As you can see, it's trash day. The hills in the distance are full of horse trails that are fun to explore - but watch out because you just might encounter a rattlesnake or a coyote. Yikes!

This is my house. Notice all the palm trees? I. Hate. Them.

 

Would you like to come in? (If you're a vampire, however, I formally rescind your invitation) ;)



Upon entering the front door, this is what you see. The desk and book shelf used to have their own room, but Sawyer's arrival kicked them out and this is where they now reside.

Look around you, and you'll find yourself standing here - in my entranceway. The wall to the right is filled with pictures of all of the people in our families who have served in the military.



pivot slightly to the right and you find the living room - home of the obnoxiously large tv and the most comfortable couches in the world (this is a proven fact).



Another pivot to the right and you are looking at my kitchen. I do love my kitchen, though I regret never putting in new countertops and cabinets...

 


and the place with the table.... (can't really call it a dining room, now can we?)

to your left is the hallway

when you start to walk down the hallway, the first room on your left is the bathroom

I am in love with my pedestal sinks

 the first room on your right is Sawyer's room

 It's my favorite room in the house

these pictures just aren't doing it justice

 the next room on your right is the guest room.

It houses many of Michael's military plaques and certificates. Many more need to be framed and added.

 across from the guest room is our bedroom. Copper thinks he is the king of the bed. He is there 99% of the time.

in this picture you catch a small glimpse of our bathroom. It's exactly the same as the other bathroom, so I didn't include a picture.

 After you walked in the front door, if you had continued walking straight you would have landed in our backyard.

It's very private and feels like an extension of the house

these are two of the five nasty palm trees that send debris into our pool at an alarming rate. Too bad it would cost $500 each to cut them down...

Lastly, I take you to the garage - which has only just recently begun to house our elliptical and is thoroughly RAT free. Promise.


That completes your tour. Thanks for stopping in.



Napping News and More

Finally. Officially. I am pretty kind of almost completely certain that Sawyer and I have an understanding and agreement about naptime. After the recent post where I proclaimed loud and proud that I conquered the naptime struggle, Sawyer decided to laugh in my face and back pedal a couple of steps. It's all good now, though.

Steps to getting Sawyer to nap successfully:
1. wait until he's REALLY REALLY REALLY tired
2. wait a little bit longer
3. mmmmm.. maybe you might want to give it another couple of minutes
4. change his diaper (this step is optional depending on last diaper change)
5. feed him
6. give him pacifier
7. if he still seems to have much too much energy, sit with him for a few minutes in his nursery and allow him to zone out. (no talking, no toys, just quiet resting and cuddling)
8. place him in crib
9. give him stuffed animal
10. kiss him on forehead.
11. If he doesn't even glance at you as you back away - you are golden. If his eyes frantically follow you out of the room you most likely messed up somewhere in steps 1-10 and are in for a rough time.

Today I messed up on steps 1 through 3, and then didn't use the failsafe number 7 so for the first time in at least a week and a half my first attempt at naptime was a big FAIL. You know what, though? I did not assume the fetal position on the floor, curse angrily at the cruel world, or shed tears of frustration. I simply let him watch some tv with me hoping he would zone out sufficiently, but when he started smiling and giggling at me I realized something was amiss and Sawyer was not quite ready for naptime. So he played on the floor for awhile until we finally achieved steps 1-3 and I could go through the entire process once again. (this time he was absolutely exhausted and the process worked like a charm)

In other amazing sleeping baby news, Sawyer no longer sleeps in a pack-n-play next to our bed at night. I was keeping him in the room because though he hasn't woken up for feedings in the middle of the night in months, he still tosses and turns and moans when his pacifier falls out. Having him next to me allowed me to quickly place it back in his mouth so that he could roll over and fall back to sleep without ever really waking. I feared that having him down the hallway would mean I would be jumping out of bed in the middle of the night.  I finally just bit the bullet and put him in the other room, though, and it is going just fine. I have had to get out of bed on a few occassions, but generally he is able to find the misplaced pacifier on his own and put himself back to sleep. I don't go in unless he starts crying (which is so rare in the middle of the night that it actually warrants an immediate reaction) or moans and groans for so long that I just take pity on him. He's adjusting remarkably well, though, and I am super happy to have taken two big steps in the right direction these past two weeks.

My parents arrive in San Diego on Saturday, and I just Can. Not. Wait. for them to see Sawyer! No one in either of our families has seen him since he was one month old, and they are all in for such a pleasant surprise when they finally see him again. He is already so full of personality and charm at only 6 months. We are truly blessed.

Hope

I can honestly say that I never thought the day would come when I would see this:

But just the other day, I walked into the bedroom to find Mike hovering over this scene.

Judging by the size of Copper's head vs. Sawyer in general, I'm sure you can understand why we had some trepidation about interactions between these two.

Recently, Copper (our siberian husky/problem child) has seemed to turn a corner with Sawyer. Whereas he has always been curious about Sawyer, he recently seems to have become comfortable with Sawyer. He will approach Sawyer. Lie down near us. Let Sawyer grab his fur without complaint or reaction. The thing that I appreciate most about both of my dogs is that they don't approach Sawyer unless we are with him.  We have trained them this way. Thankfully, though both of our dogs are very neurotic outdoors and around strangers, they are very obedient in our house.

I always believed that our husky would be better with children than our border collie - because he is a pack dog and very loving and cuddly with his pack (family). His interactions with my nephews and his first interaction with Sawyer threw me off, and I started to try to come to terms with the idea that my family just might never mesh well. I have more hope now than ever, though, after witnessing the above moment.

While I can honestly say that I no longer believe that Copper would harm Sawyer purposely - out of either anxiety or anger, I anxiously anticipate the days when Sawyer is mobile and can disturb and annoy Copper at will. We will be sure to tread carefully when those days arrive. 

For now, things are moving in the right direction, and I find happiness in that.

As for our border collie, he is still a bit nervous around Sawyer. He will aproach him and wag his tail, but when Sawyer starts grabbing he runs away. Ramsey does not have a mean bone in his body, though, so while I wish he'd be able to relax better around Sawyer, I'm not worried about it.

All of Your Burning Questions... Answered

I'm aware that there are a few things that I have written about and then left a bit open-ended. I realize that you are all absolutely dying of suspense waiting for me to update you on these things. Your wish is my command.

Q: Sarah, didn't you mention at some point that you would be moving in June?!

Why, Yes. I did. I am pretty sure I first said we were moving in April, then September, then June. Actually, though, we're moving in August. That's pretty definite. I mean, I have August written in pencil on my calendar and that's about as written-in-stone as we get around here considering we are living our lives at the beck and command of the Marine Corps.


Q: I remember you writing about rats taking over your attic? That was some fascinating stuff. I am just sooo curious about what ever happened with that whole situation?

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. That whole thing got pretty freaking dramatic before it was over. I was and am still traumatized by the entire thing. The rats are indeed gone, though. As far as we know. That doesn't mean that my heart doesn't literally stop beating every time I hear a palm tree brush against my garage. I stopped writing about the rats because it was literally just too traumatic for me at the time. I think I'm ready now, though.

The condensed version of the story goes something like this: Sarah sees rat scaling garage wall. Is not too concerned. Michael takes his car in to get oil change (the one that sat in our garage during his entire deployment). Workers tell him rats have been nesting in his filters and they need to be replaced. Sarah freaks out. Sarah and Michael spend millions of dollars for extermination company to come in and exterminate these rodents' asses. Sarah starts hearing rats scurrying around above Sawyer's room. It is creepy. Weeks go by and no rats are caught by exterminators. Evidence of rats getting into utility closet presents itself. Sarah begins to have nightmares of rats trying desperately to infiltrate her house. Rat dies in wall next to Sawyer's room. Sawyer's room is unuseable for weeks. Extermination company closes up all tiny hole entries to attic. No evidence of rat activity for several weeks. Rats are considered to be exterminated. Sarah finds vacant rat nest in back yard grill. Michael takes care of grill. Sarah and Michael may never own a grill again. The end.

p.s. the moral to this story is: don't leave your house vacant for several months and assume that unwanted creatures won't take up residence there. You have been warned.

Q: How is Sawyer napping these days?

A: Thanks for asking. After my post in which I explained in great detail my incompetence as a mother, I received a phone call. "Sarah," my sister said. "First of all, you are not a failure. Second of all, I have some advice for you about the napping."

Her advice went as follows: 1. Always feed baby before naptime 2. place baby in crib 3. leave the room 4. If baby is crying you may return at 4-1o minute increments to put the pacificer in the baby's mouth and then leave again . 5. Repeat as many times as necessary.

The first time I tried this method I whimped out and ended up putting him to sleep as I hovered over him in the crib because OMG he was just crying so hard and how cold-hearted would I be to leave him there ALONE. The second time I tried it I went in twice. The third time I tried it I went in 4 times. The fourth time I tried it.... I went back in zero times. Yep. That's exactly how long it took. 4 times.

I feel foolish now to be quite honest.... for being such a wussy mommy..Because he just adapated so darn quickly. Now he goes down without a fuss pretty much every single time.

But tonight at bedtime? I let him fall asleep in my arms... just because I wanted to... and because having him sleeping in my arms brings so much joy and peace to my heart. I just couldn't pass up the opportunity. Tomorrow I'll let him put himself to sleep, though. I promise.

This concludes my question and answer segment. Thanks for stopping by.

Disclaimer: I realize that I have some spacing issues going on in this blog post. I have tried to fix it several times with no results. The truth is, I'm just not type A enough to continue trying, so we're all just goint to have to live with the annoyance of the strange spacing. sigh.

a MAJOR question

To make Major or not to make Major that is the question.

...the question that will be plaguing the minds of both Mike and me for the next year or so...

Our future, it seems, is once again completely in the hands of that wonderful group titled United States Marine Corps. Oh, and is it ever anxiety inducing.

He has a few things going for him in his quest for the rank of Major:

* A bronze star. You can look it up and though the description of it might sound a tad lackluster, trust me, it's anything but. Mike is the only Captain I've ever come across with this prestigious award, and at every single military event that requires uniforms with such awards on them he is most certainly the talk of the town. Pleasantries go out the window and his encounters go a little something like this: "So.. how did you manage to get that BRONZE STAR?!" He got it because during his second deployment, he ended up going as the Commanding Officer at the last minute when the Major who was supposed to be the officer in charge was in a pretty bad car accident. That didn't ensure his bronze star, though. It was the amazing leadership job that he did that ensured the bronze star. Actually, Mike just told me a few weeks ago that the REAL reason he was recommended for the bronze star was because the Iraqi leader he was working closely with absolutely RAVED about him to the Colonel who was overseeing him. Because of the cultural differences, I don't think it's often that an Iraqi officer gets along so well with an American officer. That's Mike in a nutshell, though.

* Good evaluations aka: fitness reports. Mike always shows me his fitness reports and the most recent one had comments such as: CHALLENGE THIS MARINE and One of the few eminently qualified marines. Sounds like some good feedback to me!

He also has some things going against him...
That whole - I'm a pilot, but I'm not flying thing. To ensure his promotion to Major he probably should have gone through with the MOS change (career change within the marine corps) 4 years ago when he knew he wasn't going to be flying anymore. A nosy/negative nelly kind of Major recently told Mike he has no chance of making Major... because he's not competitive within his MOS. I challenge that every pilot stops flying sooner or later and takes on the administrative and leadership tasks that Mike has clearly already proven he is more than capable of handling. Nobody really knows, though. Unless you're the one sitting on that promotion board, you don't know what exactly they're looking for. We just have to cross our fingers and hope that they see what a strong leader he has proven himself to be.

*The very last wildcard in promotion to Major is a picture. How you look in that uniform is very important for the Marine Corps community, and my man has that hispanic butt that is so coveted by women everywhere. Unfortunately, he's a man and a marine and this trait is not a favorable one in either of these communities. He's working his butt off (quite literally) to try to have the most flattering picture possible, but the truth of the matter is that he does not have the typical body of a marine, and we can only hope that his picture is satisfactory so those promotion board members.

If he does make it to this next rank in the USMC, he will be able to retire at the ripe young age of 42. You really can't beat that.

While I think we both sometimes yearn for a life where the military isn't telling us where to live and how often I'm allowed to have my husband on U.S. soil with me, the truth of the matter is that military life is what we know. It's job security. A steady paycheck. A comfortable life. Community.

It's scary to think that 2 years from now, when Michael completes his next tour, we could very possibly be venturing out into the civillian world. We just have to believe that whatever is meant to be will be.

Joys and Challenges

I was very frustrated yesterday, but not with Sawyer. I was frustrated with myself. Probably I shouldn't have been frustrated with anyone. I should simply have coughed it up to, 'one of those things to make me stronger - one of those things to work to improve'.

But at the time? When I'm living it? I feel like it is the be all and end all of everything. I get super intense and stubborn about the whole thing.

Even during that whole escapade, though, (which I'm realizing now took up almost our entire day together - holy crap!) I stopped for a moment and smelled the roses. I told Sawyer that he is my greatest gift and my greatest challenge.

Maybe it's my short term memory kicking in here, but I swear that commanding a room full of 34 7th graders was never quite as challenging as this mommy stuff.

It was never quite as rewarding either.

In the rare event that Sawyer stops his desperate attempts at seeing everything in the entire world and actually rests his head on my shoulder... I get chills. Literally. Oh I love him so.

Last weekend after we returned home from a bar-b-q where Sawyer was on his very best behavior - Mike held Sawyer in his arms and said, "Sawyer, you are the best thing about our life."

I could have exploded with joy.

Naptime Gone Bad

12:25 - Sawyer is pretty fussy playing on the floor. I decide to change location/activity to ward off boredom/frustration

12:34: Sawyer continues to be fussy at next location. eye rubbing commences.

12:37: I decide it's time to start Sawyer's naptime routine. He must be tired.

12:40: Sawyer is in his sleep sack, the lights are dim, and we are sitting on the chair in his nursery listening to his naptime music.

12:50: Music stops - Sawyer has rubbed his eyes 5 times during the 10 minutes of naptime music. I figure he's tired but not quite ready to go down in his crib yet. I turn the music on again for another go.

1:00: Sawyer is still awake but seems on the verge of sleep. I place Sawyer in his crib. frantic leg kicking and arm waving commences.
- Sawyer takes his pacifier out and throws it across the crib
- I wait a few minutes. put it back in.
- Sawyer throws it out again.
- I put it back in.
- Sawyer flails. flails. rubs eyes.
- eyes almost close... but whip back open again.

1:10: music ends. again. I look at watch. Notice it is almost 3 hours since Sawyer's last meal.

1:12: Sawyer is out of his crib. I change his diaper. While playing with his pacifier, Sawyer gets it stuck in his mouth at a strange angle. He screams at the top of his lungs.

1:15: I begin feeding Sawyer - hoping that he will nurse himself to sleep.

1:30: Sawyer is done eating, wide-eyed, and babbling happily away. I sigh. Is he NOT tired?

1:32: I take Sawyer's sleep sack off, bring him out to the living room, place him on the floor with his toys, fix myself a sandwich for lunch.

1:40: Sawyer CRIES. complains. CRIES.

1:45: He seems tired to me.

1:50: We're back in his nursery. sleep sack back on. sitting in the chair in his nursery. I read him a book. I turn on heartbeat background noise since naptime music does not seem to be doing the trick.

2:00: Still Awake. Struggling.

2:10: I decide that he IS going to fall asleep in that crib. I attempt to let him cry it out.

2:15: He cries. I cry. Everybody cry cries. I leave the room.

2:25: I come back. Resign myself to picking him up and rocking him to sleep in my arms. This technique rarely fails though I have been trying to use it less since the books, internet, and my mom all warn me that if I keep doing that I'm going to be rocking him to sleep until he's 2.

2:35: still awake.

2:40: I give up. turn on the light. play time on the floor.

2:50: He seems to be playing nicely. His eyes are oh so sleepy, though... and oh so red. I scream on the inside. He's clearly tired. WHY WON'T HE SLEEP?

2:55: He starts howling. Pathetic, Exhausted Screams and Sobs.
I pick him up. Rock him to sleep in my arms. He is out almost instantly. Even as he sleeps he continues to make those catching breath sobbing sounds for quite some time.

3:05: I feel bad that he got so upset that he is still sobbing even as he sleeps. I continue to cradle him in my arms.

3:10: I lay him down in his crib.

I leave the room feeling frustrated. defeated. terribly inept. The. Worst. Mom. Ever.

...and I wish I could tell you this was the first time I experienced something like this.

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At night, though, he sleeps like a dream... (in a pack-n-play, next to our bed. but that's a story for another day...)