Lovely Summer

Holy Cow have do I ever have a lot to accomplish this week!

I'm accomplishing it... slowly... very slowly.

Today I spent my morning at school where I made a tiny dent in the cleaning-out-my-classroom process. Around 11:30 am it got a little too warm in my non-air conditioned classroom and my belly was a little too hungry so I took a much needed lunch break with my buddy. That was lovely.

After lunch I closed up my classroom and took a spontaneous trip to Target. There were some items that I needed to purchase... including t-shirts that fit my expanding form.

After Target I hit the Farmer's Market for some good produce and healthy food that my body has been craving lately.

When I got home I ignored the disaster of a house I live in and headed out to the backyard to do a little bit of work in my disaster of a yard. After making it less of a disaster, I rewarded myself by relaxing with my feet in the pool reading the first book in the Sookie Stackhouse series. I'm only on chapter 2 and already in love with it. I am also in love with my pool. and reading a book with my feet dipped inside of it.

All in all, I have to say... Day 1 of summer vacation = nothing less than lovely.

The END

When I first found out I was pregnant, there was a big part of me that thought that I would NOT survive the 3 busiest months of the school year feeling all sick, tired, and preggers and without Michael.

But I'm here to tell you.... I DID IT! I survived! I made it!

Yesterday was officially the last day of school. It should have been bittersweet. I should have shed a few tears. I should have had some sadness as I pulled out of that parking lot. But I didn't.

The truth is, I am just much too excited about my future that I don't have it in me to feel the slightest bit sad or sentimental about my past.

Well, I take that back, I did get a bit teary-eyed while watching the season finale of my new favorite show Glee. Somehow that show helped me find the tears that real life just wasn't providing for me.

In any case, I certainly felt loved during my last week. I received much of my favorite thing in the whole world to receive - letters and cards with heartfelt messages written inside. The binder where I keep special things from my students doubled in size this week, I'll just say that.

Probably the coolest thing that happened all week was that yesterday, on the last day of school, my very first class of 8th graders (now just finishing up their sophomore year in high school) showed up and spent the morning with me. 18 of them. 18 16-year-olds who could've spent their morning doing who knows what, decided instead to spend their morning in my classroom with me saying goodbye. It was indeed a special day that I will not soon forget.

All in all, I have no regrets and am ready to move forward.

My hope is that this distance from the classroom setting will give me a chance to reflect. Maybe I will miss it. Maybe I won't. Time will tell.

Working on closing that door..

Last night was my very last 8th grade graduation. The planning was nothing less than stressful, but I knew all along that all I had to do was get through last week and then it would be smoothe sailing to the end of the school year, summer vacation, and the beginning of my new life.

Graduation went off without a hitch. Well,unless you call the fact that both the parents and I scheduled a DJ for the after-graduation party a hitch. That's a funny story for another time, though.

Really, it was great. I'm not too sure how I should be feeling right now. I guess it really is how I've said before. I'm not going to miss the classroom. I don't think. I am going to miss the kids. After the graduation dance, the 8th graders were giving me farewell hugs and one girl latched onto my back and would not let go. She walked with me that way throughout the room as I said my goodbyes to everyone. I'm thinking maybe she is going to miss me. Just a hunch.

I think my brother said it best when he said that it's good that I have an "excuse" to leave my school. It's not my life's work. It was a good experience, but it would have been almost impossible for me to leave if I didn't have a good reason for doing so. Even with the pregnancy and my husband is deployed and I need to be with family reason I have students begging me to stay. I don't feel guilty now, but I can't imagine how guilty I would have felt if I had no better reason to leave than I simply wanted to go.

I am currently holding pretty strong to the idea that next week will be my last week in the classroom. At least in the traditional classroom. I like working with kids. I don't like being their teacher. That's what I know. That's enough for now.

The other thing I know is that I am over the moon excited to take a break from my career, focus on my family, and see what happens from there.

I am practically giddy about opening this new chapter of my life.

I'm feeling good. Michael is doing well. As far as I know the baby is healthy (I'm 15weeks today!). Our relationship is strong. Life is good.

For the past 3 days I was up in the mountains of Southern California with my 8th grade class. They go to camp every year at this time before they graduate and head their different ways, and it is always an awesome experience for them and for me.

This year was no exception. I had the opportunity this year to see my students cheer each other on, face fears, support one another, and really work as a team. The first evening we were there, we hiked to the top of a mountain where you could see all the way to the ocean, each took a seat in a meadow, and watched the sunsent. It was pretty darn cool.

I was tired, though.

It's interesting doing things pregnant that I have done not-pregnant and noting the difference in my level of endurance. I wanted to be able to do exactly what I've done before, but that just wasn't plausible. The last day we were there, I really just needed to sit around. I was exhausted. My back ached from camp sleeping accomodations, and despite the great time I was having, more than anything I just wanted to go HOME.

The whole thing was bittersweet. I don't think I'm going to have any trouble walking away from my job or my school at the end of this year. The lesson planning and grading and disciplining? The marathon staff meetings, the incompetence of leadership, the complaining teachers? I will wave sionara to all those things and not look back. But the students? Them, I will miss.

On the other hand, I happily announce to you that as of today I have officially taken that giant leap into my 2nd trimester! Goodbye 1st trimester worries! All the websites and books say that I can expect to get my energy back and to start feeling less morning sickness. This morning I woke up raring to go. I even went into the backyard and did some work on my much abandoned pool. But right around 2 pm the exhaustion hit and I just had to lie down and take myself a nice afternoon snooze.

Well, maybe my energy will come back tomorrow. :)

In any case, the word about my pregnancy is out now. I've passed the news on to friends, family, students, parents of students, co-workers, even facebook... so it's all starting to feel more real than ever. Not to mention that fact that my belly is actually starting to pop... though I wasn't quite skinny enough in the first place for it to be obviously a pregnancy belly. At this point, it could still be mistaken by the general public as an "I ate too many jelly donuts" belly.

Things are exciting and moving fast. I can't wait for the end of the school year so that I can close that chapter of my life and eagerly begin to write the next chapter.

In any case, I will keep you posted.

Earthquakes

Since I have been living in San Diego, there have been several earthquakes. Up until yesterday, I had only felt one. And the one that I did feel was so minor, that I thought the tv table was shaking because I had accidentally run into it. I didn't realize what I had just experienced was an earthquake until I got on facebook later and noticed everyone's status updates.

I missed at least one earthquake because I was driving in my car and didn't feel it.

A few occurred in the middle of the night, and I slept like a little baby... right through them.

There was a big one on Easter Sunday, but I was on the East Coast and totally missed it. The only physical evidence I had of that earthquake was when I arrived home after my trip and found that a tequila bottle which had been residing on top of my refrigerator had crashed to the ground during the shake.

But yesterday, finally.... I experienced an earthquake. An earthquake that I realized was an earthquake. An earthquake that lasted just long enough for me to reconsider my decision to just sit it out on the couch.

I was lying on my couch yesterday morning, catching up on a few of my DVR'd shows... when suddenly... my kitchen cabinets started shaking. And then the ground under me started shaking. I had just enough time to realize it was an earthquake and freeze in my position. I also had enough time to consider the fact that sitting underneath a ceiling fan was probably not the safest place for me to be.

I mean, how many earthquake drills have I gone through at school? I am fully aware of the fact that during an earthquake I am supposed to take cover under a sturdy table OR find my way to the nearest wall, crouch next to it, and cover my neck and head. But I didn't do any of that. I sat there, watched my house shake, and contemplated the dangerousness of sitting underneath a ceiling fan during an earthquake.

My border collie came running into the room to check on the situation. I didn't see him, but I'm fairly convinced that my siberian husky did not blink an eye and continued to rest peacefully on my bed during the quake.

All in all, I can now say that I have fully experienced a true California earthquake. Now that I've experienced one, though, I can truthfully say that I will lead a happy and fulfilled life if I never experience one again.

River City

There's this thing in the world of military deployments. It's called River City. No, it's not a place. It's a term. A word used for an event that seems to be happening all too much for my taste this deployment.

River City means that all communication to the outside world is cut... for half a day.. a day.. a few days.. a week. It depends. Depends on the situation. Communication is cut to the outside world because a military person in the near vicinity has died and they don't want the family to find out through a random email or phone call. Instead, they wait until the family has been informed officially through the military and then communication goes back up and River City comes to an end.

During Michael's past deployments River City occurred once or twice. Nothing too horrendous. But, that was Iraq. Now that he's in Afghanistan? He goes into River City at least every other week if not weekly.

Last night, after being in River City for 2 days, he finally got the chance to call me. I asked him why they go into River City so much. He said because people keep dying. I said they need to stop dying.

Of course, I said that because I don't want to be out of communication with my husband for a week at a time. I don't want to wonder for days on end what the heck is going on and why I haven't heard from him. I'm being selfish though. Instead, I should be thanking my lucky stars that I'm not the one getting the official call from the military with the worst news imaginable.

I am counting my lucky stars that my husband has the desk job, not the going out into towns and doing dangerous things job. Believe me, though. I know he's not totally safe. I mean, I only need to be reminded of this fact every single time his communication goes down. He's in a dangerous place. But to be totally honest with you? My brain is physically unable to even GO THERE. This is why when he goes into River City I get annoyed and angry that another person has died and caused me to lose communication with my husband.

This is selfish of me, yes I know. But more than selfishness, it is survival pure and simple.

News

1. I eagerly look forward to my 8:00 pm bedtime every night.

2. The smell of my deodorant grosses me out.

3. Today, at the grocery store, a woman who smelled strongly of stale cigarettes stood a bit too close to me and I was forced to step away. I felt like I was going to gag.

What does all this mean?

I'm pregnant. Yes. Pregnant.

12 weeks pregnant, to be precise. I'm so close to being out of the 1st trimester danger zone that I can practically taste it.

On Wednesday, I had my first real check up and an ultrasound. During the ultrasound, I was able to see my baby bounce around like an Olympic gymnast. He or she did flip after flip after flip inside of my belly. My Midwife was amazed by the activity of my little 3 month fetus. She told me I'm going to have my hands full... I just laughed. Knowing the father, I'm not surprised in the least.

Of course, Michael is deployed. Which is not necesserily what you would call an ideal situation. However, in considering the alternative, I would prefer for Michael to miss out on me being miserable during pregnancy to him missing out on a huge portion of his child's early life. I'm due Nov. 27 -- he will plan to schedule his R&R 2 week break for around the due date so that even if he misses the birth (though I hope he does not) he will at least get to meet his baby before heading back for his last few months of deployment.

I will be breaking the news at work this week that I am pregnant and will not be returning next year. My dad is going to come out mid to late August and he will make the trek with the dogs and me back to the East Coast for the birth and first months of the baby's life.

Things are happening fast, and I couldn't be more happy and excited.

I could do with a bit more energy. Keeping up with the house and dogs and pool and yard are fairly difficult alone as it is.... Now I'm alone and pregnant, though... and a lot of things are being neglected. I hope for my energy to kick back into the normal range during my 2nd trimester so that I can get my life back in order.

Until then... I'm really not complaining. I am just thanking God every day for the healthy, acrobatic baby growing inside of my belly.

.... and now you know why it's been so long since I've posted.

:)