The Flu

Am I the only one who is totally freaking out about this whole swine flu thing?

Because I am. Totally Freaking Out.

It's made its way into my school, and I am not at all okay with it.

The other day, one of my 6th graders walked into the classroom, and I only had to look at him to see that he was SICK. I was terribly distracted by this fact. I kept asking him if he was OK. He kept saying he was fine. Except, he really wasn't. That much was obvious.

Finally, I told him he had to go to the office. He said he had already been there. I asked him if they had let him call home. He said he had called home, but his dad told him to stay at school.

I was appalled, and I'm sure I didn't mask it very well. I told him to go again and to tell his dad his teacher said he needed to go home.

Apparently, when he went to the office the second time, his temperature was 102.5.
Like I said... sick.

Kids are dropping like flies, and I am enforcing hand washing, hand sanitizing, and desk sanitizing like a wild woman.

My only hope is that due to my overexposure to all these germs, I might be more resistant to them than your average joe. Because, we're in for a long flu season, folks, and I can tell you right now that I do not want to be the flu's next victim.

Cable Woes

I am seriously peeved with my cable company.

I am an online bill payer. If you expect me to send you a check or pay the bill by phone, you can bet that the payment is going to be late. If I can help it, I get all of my bills online through email, too.

My cable company and I got along just fine for about 3 years. Then, suddenly one day, they decided that the only way you could pay online was if you logged on with your email address from them. Well, I know that I got an email address through them when we first got our service, but I don't ever use it. I have no idea what my password is or how to get into it remotely. Also, in order to log into their online site with this new email address I needed to have a pin number. Well, I have never received or decided on a pin number for my cable company.

This was where the first of our problems began.

At first, I was only slightly annoyed by this change. I simply picked up the phone and called them. I informed them of my dilemma, and they informed me that I wasn't authorized to deal with them by phone - the account was under Mike's name.

Sidenote: Why I would EVER open an account in Mike's name I have NO idea. Considering the fact that I pay all the bills and he is hardly ever home, it doesn't really make too much sense. Note to self: let this be the last time you have to learn this lesson the hard way!

Eventually Mike got around to calling the cable company himself. After speaking with them, he informed me that the bill was paid and I was now named on the account; I thought everything had been taken care of.

Until I received another online bill (that I couldn't open!)... and realized that he had forgotten to get the most important information: the pin number for the account and the password for the email address!

So.. he made another call, explained the predicament, and was informed that a manager would be calling him back (on his cell phone!) with the coveted pin number and password within the hour.

But there was no phone call back.

And today, I received a letter in the mail from this stupid dumb idiotic cable company telling us that this was our last (actually it was our first, but apparently the first is also the last) notice before they cut off our service.

So.. I called the cable company.

And was informed that even though I'm now on the account, I can't be the one to receive the pin number because I am not the primary account holder. I was also informed that the manager had called our landline to give us our pin, but we had not answered. (well, that's because our cordless phone isn't working and we never use the stupid landline, so we don't even have a phone plugged into it currently. Not only that, but they had told Mike that they would be calling him back on his cell phone! I even stood there next to him as he repeated the number to them!)

In any case, I learned that Mike would have to call back on our landline in order to get our pin number. Which, she informed me, is on our bill right under our address and name. However, I informed her that all our bills come online via email, but I cannot get into those bills because I don't have the PIN NUMBER or password needed to access it now that they switched it so that we have to use our cox.com email address.

Oh, she replied.
Well, if you receive a bill in the mail before your husband gets home, you can just check under the name and address and your pin number will be right there.

umm...........

OK.
Bye Then.
I said.

**Thanks so much for listening intently to my problem, and for being oh so much help.

When I got off the phone, I texted the following to Michael:

As soon as you get home we are cancelling our cox cable and switching over to AT&T. They have some really good cable and internet packages.

Doggie Updates

I should really be doing something productive right now. Laundry. Vacuuming. Lesson Plans. Grading. But, those things will have to wait.

For now, I feel the need to write a blog post.

The whole dog thing is... well... not too much better than before. Despite my determination and Mike's weight lifting gloves, walking the dogs together is still pretty much hell on earth. In fact, this morning, while walking my dogs, I had serious concern that my arm muscles were going to give out on me and both of my dogs were going to take off on a wild adventure. All I can say is that I am desperately waiting for the special collars and doggie backpacks to arrive in the mail. I am currently putting all of my hope in them, so they better not disappoint.

Also, the whole walking at 5:00 am thing is probably not going to be happening any more. I did it on Friday morning, just as I had said I would. It was just a little bit freaky, though, being out there at that hour. I knew it was going to be dark outside at 5 am, but I've walked the dogs in the dark (evening) many-a-time before. My neighborhood is very residential, so I'm not really concerned about it. However, what I didn't realize about 5:00 am is the lack of activity. At night lights are on in the houses, you can hear people's tv's, hear their conversations, cars and people pass by regularly. At 5 am I did not see or hear another single human being. It totally creeped me out.

For this reason, I suppose that evening walks are just going to have to suffice for now.

I really set out to write about my students and how they don't like to be in the sun and want to have pale skin. But, I will save that for later.

For now, I know that I absolutely must get off this wretched computer and get busy being productive.

Doggie Disaster

I don't mean to complain. Really, I don't.

It's just that I've been kind of sort of having a really shitty afternoon.

Today when I came home from work... I noticed something that literally made me GASP. I gasped, my border collie started shaking from head to toe (no exaggeration), and my husky immediately went into submission on his back.

I then threw them both in the back yard, screamed, "I WANT TO KILL YOU", and slammed the door. It was quite the dramatic scene.

What offense did they commit that had me gasping, shrieking, screaming, and slamming?

My couch.

There is a hole in my couch. My beloved couch. The couch that I have never once regretted buying. (which is a huge feat since I regret pretty much everything I ever buy). The couch that Mike claims we are going to have forever. The couch that we both proclaim to be the most comfortable couch in the world.

It's one of those things that I don't want to think about too much because it is actually making me sick to my stomach.

I figure, if I can get someone here who's good with a needle they will be able to sew it back together. Truth be told, though, it's not going to look like new. It will always have a scar. A scar that will always remind me of the day my dogs tore a baseball sized hole in my wonderful couch.

But the hole is only half the problem, not even half, really.

The real problem is the dogs. Obviously they're suffering from some separation anxiety after Mike's recent departure. Honestly, though, WTF!!!! How many times has Mike been gone?! Let me count.. oh wait.. he's been gone too many times to count.

So Why this time?! Why this couch?! WHY, WHY, WHY???!!!

Why, indeed.

We've been up and down with our leash training with Copper. It's just.... he is unexplainably bad on walks. Scary bad. Dangerously bad. I actually feel unsafe walking that dog alone or too far from home. In the past, I have fallen down, he has broken out of his collar and run off, I have come frighteningly close to breaking fingers, I have withstood painful ropeburn, and so on and so forth.

Ramsey is fine, though. But when Mike's gone, what am I supposed to do? Take Ramsey and leave Copper alone? That doesn't sound very fair, does it? But is it fair to not take either of them? I don't think so.

It was a dilemma indeed.

So this is what I did. First, I put a leash on both of my dogs and made them follow me around the house all afternoon. I did this to get them both completely relaxed on the leash and completely relaxed on the leash together. Together being the key word here. You see, together on walks they are a hundred times worse than alone. They egg each other on. Anxiety breeds anxiety, and it is a disaster.

Next, I went online and spent a lot of freaking money buying special collars from Cesar Millan's website. Supposedly, these collars are specially designed to keep dogs from pulling without metal things sticking into their necks like the choke collar (which, btw, my husky is deathly afraid of and will run and hide never to come out if you even touch one of those). I also bought doggie backpacks. Not only do they add more weight and give an active dog a better workout, but wearing the backpack on a walk helps the dog to feel like it has a job to do.

After that, I rummaged through the garage for Mike's weight lifting gloves. I waited until it was sufficiently dark enough outside (so as not to become the neighborhood weirdo) and I put those gloves on, retrieved my dogs, and walked determinedly out the door for what was sure to be a successful walk with both dogs together.

Of course, the first thing that happened was two weiner dogs came by and barked and bucked and growled and got my dogs all riled up. Yeah, that was a disaster. We went back inside.

I tried again a few minutes later after the dogs had calmed down a bit. Armed with my gloves and my desperate determination, I was actually successful. I mean, neither dog ran away, I didn't fall down, break a bone, or even get rope burn on my hands. I don't know what you consider a successful walk.. but in my book that ranks right up there at the top of the list.

I'm not finished yet, though.

I decided. Evening walks are not quite enough. If I don't want to come home to a totally mutilated couch tomorrow, I need to do more.... Which is why I already decided that I will be waking up at the seriously disgusting and unholy hour of 5:00 am tomorrow to take my dogs on a walk. together. with my gloves. and my determination.

God help me.
I must really love my dogs.... or my couch.
KIDDING! It's the dogs.

So Mike is gone. He finally left for those 3 weeks of training in the desert he was supposed to have left for weeks ago. For once, the military actually pushed back a date instead of pushing it forward. It was quite a pleasant surprise.

He's gone now, though. And at first, I wasn't too happy about the whole thing. In fact, I was in a bit of a slump about it. I was thinking man this whole living on my own thing is starting to get OLD.

But here's the truth of the matter: it took me a whole 24 hours to get over it. In fact, yesterday around 9:00 pm I realized that I hadn't heard from Mike all day and hadn't thought twice about it. Even when it dawned on me, I still didn't really think twice about it.

Don't get me wrong. I love my husband. To Death. I miss him and in my dream world he would be here with me all the time. But this is reality, and in reality, he's gone quite a bit.

I guess I have just adapted to reality... which I don't think is such an awful thing.

I'd rather realize at 9 pm that I hadn't heard from my husband all day and shrug my shoulders than spend my entire day missing him and bemoaning his absence.

But that's just me.

Mean People Suck

Recently, I've had some encounters with some not very nice people.

The first incident occurred in Wal-Mart late one Sunday evening. Believe me, I am no Wal-Mart shopper. I am a tried and true fan of Target, but it was Sunday evening, I was in need of poster board for school the next day, and Wal-Mart is only 2 miles away from my house vs. the 5 mile trek to Target.

I'm not sure how, but I was able to con Mike into coming with me. When we got to the store, we made a bee-line for the school supplies aisle in search of poster board. We found the posterboard, but we also found a family of 3 (a mom and her 2 kids) blocking our path to the coveted posterboard. They seemed to be having a bit of trouble deciding exactly what kind of posterboard they needed.

Mike and I stood off to the side, patiently waiting for our chance to grab our posterboard and be on our way. As we stood there, (not one to waste time) Mike inquired as to which posterboard I needed. Then, we waited. and waited. and waited. Several minutes went by.

Finally, Mike stepped in and (politely!) said, "Excuse me, can I get in here for a second?" and he quickly grabbed our desired posterboard and was on his way.

The mother then screamed at her son, "YOU'RE TAKING TOO LONG!" and threw a piece of posterboard on the floor. The family began their retreat through the aisle, at which point the mother, who apparently knew she was mad but was unable to make up her mind as to who she was mad at, started yelling rather obnoxiously, "THAT GIRL THINKS SHE'S THE ONLY ONE IN THIS STORE?! SHE THINKS SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO NEEDS POSTERBOARD?!" (silence where I imagine one of her children was shusing her) "WHAT?" she continued yelling from the next aisle, "IT PISSES ME OFF. WE CAN'T HAVE THE TIME TO PICK OUT OUR POSTERBOARD, TOO?!"

And before she had finished her rant, I had already made the decision that that would be my very last trip to Wal-Mart. Ever.

The good news was that Mike (somehow) managed to miss this little yelling spree. Well, that's not completely accurate, apparently he heard the spree but didn't listen to her words. Since she had initially been yelling at her son, he had assumed she had continued to yell at HIM. I was actually glad that he hadn't realized she was yelling at me, (I mean, seriously, why was she yelling at me? I wasn't even the one who scooted in there and grabbed the posterboard!) because I knew that he would have made a scene and yelled right back.

You see, Michael is the yin to my yang. As much as I am passive, he is aggressive.

Which leads me to Mean Person story #2.

I believe I mentioned in my last post that our first destination on Michael Day was a local seafood restaurant. I know that I have also mentioned that we recently purchased a (new to us) car. Well, we parked our car next to an outdoor patio that was completely camoflauged in vines. Translation: you could hear people talking, but you couldn't see them. As we were getting out of the car, Mike accidentally set off the car alarm. Twice. (like I said, the car is new to us). Some kindly happy hour-er decided to scream, "Why don't you turn off that stupid car alarm!" To which Mike promptly screamed back, "It was an ACCIDENT. SORRY!"

I informed Mike that when he screams back at an idiot he looks like just as much of an idiot. He didn't agree nor did he appreciate my feedback on the situation. But, hey, I call it like I see it.

Which leads me to today, the incident that inspired this post in the first place.

At my school, I am in charge of the afternoon Traffic Patrol. It is a student volunteer organization. The students direct traffic after school under my supervision. Today, I was chatting with one of my students when out of the corner of my ear, I heard an angry woman. I looked up to find a mother yelling at one of the 8th grade Safety Patrol volunteers. She was saying, "YOU'RE IN MY WAY!"

I immediately made my way over to the 8th grader to inquire what the incident was all about. She wasn't quite sure of anything other than the fact that a grown woman had just screamed at her.

When the woman came back, with her 2nd grader in tow, I stopped her and said, "Excuse me, ma'am. Please be nice to my Safety Patrol volunteers."

I wish I could tell you what it was that she said in return, but really, all I know is that it was some kind of hysterical rant about having to wait in line and not being able to go where she wanted to go.

I said, "The Safety Patrol is doing their best; you just need to be patient."

To which she responded with an even longer and more hysterical rant. To which I responded, "Ok, goodbye then."

I mean, I was pissed, but I'm certainly not going to stand there in the middle of the school parking lot and in front of her 2nd grade child and a handful of my 8th grade students and have an argument with the woman. She was, however, completely out of line. I don't care what happens but it is not okay for a random adult woman to scream at a child who she does not know. I don't even think it's okay for an adult to scream at a child she does know, but that's another argument altogether.

Our principal wasn't at school this afternoon, but I will be knocking on her door tomorrow to inform her about this woman. Because, something needs to be done.

Yelling back at her in the parking lot was not the way to handle the situation, but that does not mean that the situation does not need to be handled. This woman needs to know that what she did is not okay.

My official opinion on the subject? Mean people suck. Totally.

Michael Day

This Friday was deemed "Michael Day". In other words, how we spent our evening was left completely up to him. His plans? Dinner at a local seafood restaurant and two movies back to back at the theater. His choices? Zombieland and Pandorum.

Due to a miscalculation on his part, though, we went to see the wrong movie first and would have had to stay up until an ungodly hour in order to watch the other one. So, to his complete and utter frustration, we only ended up watching Zombieland Friday night. (On the very quiet drive home, he confessed that this is why he never makes plans... because it is such a disappointment when they don't work out.)

Taking pity on him, I extended Michael Day a little bit into Saturday so that we could finish off his Day and see Pandorum.

Let me begin by making one thing very clear: I hate scary movies. Actually, I think the word hate does not quite cover it. Abhor. Despise. These words seem more fitting for my feelings about scary movies.

Mike, on the other hand, LOVES them.

As you can imagine, this presents a bit of a problem for us. Every time I leave town he watches every single scary movie from On Demand. If I go to bed early, he can often be found in the living room, catching up on the latest thriller.

I swore off scary movies only a few weeks after we got married. There was an unfortunate incident with a movie about a creepy little devil child that had me too afraid to go to the bathroom by myself. I was in my 20's. A grown woman. Afraid to use the bathroom alone. Yeah. Time to give up scary movies.

Since then I have decided that all that scary movies really do is put thoughts into our heads that should not be there. I'm worried enough as it is; I don't need a scary movie to make me worry about a psycho killer using my skin as a mask or the flu turning the human race into crazed cannibals.

Suffice to say, it was a pretty big deal that I agreed to go to these two movies.

Zombieland was no big deal. I don't really have a problem with zombie movies because they're.. so... well.. fake. And, Zombieland was more humorous than scary, really. We actually both rather enjoyed it. I might even recommend it to other people.

Pandorum, on the other hand, actually was a totally freakishly frightening movie. I hadn't really seen any previews for it, so I was going into the movie completely blind. I had no idea what it was going to be about.

However, only about 5 minutes after it started, I was completely aware of the fact that the last place I wanted to be right then was in that theater watching that dreadful movie.

But, I was a trooper. I'll admit, There were a few incidents where I closed my eyes and tried to take a nap. I probably told Mike how much I hated the movie at least 20 times. However, in the end, I gave it a chance. It was fairly interesting. I could have done without the satanic super creatures that were running around eating everyone, though.

Don't get me wrong. I still hate. abhor. despise. scary movies. In fact, I am at this very moment dreading the fact that Michael will be training in 29 Palms for the remainder of the month of October. This will be the THIRD October in a row that I will be spending alone. That means three years in a row where all those scary Halloween movie previews have been freaking me the f**k out during my (solo!) evening television viewing.

But, you know, it was Michael Day. And for Michael Day, I'll do anything for the man I love. Even the one thing that I absolutely abhor beyond belief.

*Btw, I really can't wait for "Sarah Day" to arrive. I wonder what I will plan?!