Drama Mama

There was a time last summer after spending a few weeks with my heartbreakingly adorable nephew when I questioned whether I was cut out for the job of parenthood. I decided that I would probably be okay, but that my heart would break on a regular basis.

I think one of my biggest flaw? attributes? is that I feel other people's emotions and pain very strongly. Especially people I really care about. That's why last year when the little kids didn't want to play with my nephew at the playground, I pretty much thought I would die of a broken heart.

I realize that's a bit dramatic, but hey! it's how I felt. truly.

Currently, my siberian husky is having some health problems. Logically, I realize that he has had similar health problems in the past and there has never been any medical reason for why he was having them... he's just a nervous little guy is all. Big life changes wreak havoc on him and next thing you know his anxiety is manifesting itself in all kinds of health problems. Irrationally, I pretty much have myself convinced that he's dying and I'm really freaking out about it. Every time he presents a not-so-healthy symptom I have to hold myself back from running around the house crying, stomping and screaming, "WHY ME?! WHY NOW?!"

Again. dramatic. I know.

Which leads me to my point. I am again finding myself wondering if I am indeed cut out for the job of parenthood. with 5 weeks to go until my due date, I realize it's just a bit too late to turn back, but I'm worried. I mean, every time my baby coughs or sneezes or poops a strange color am I going to do the same thing I am doing now with my dog?

The only possible answer to this question is an unequivocal YES. I mean, if I'm freaking out like this over a dog, I can only imagine that the drama will be magnified ten fold when it's my baby we're talking about.

I can only hope that I don't get so dramatic that I screw my kid up beyond repair. Luckily (I think?) he will have a dad who is my polar opposite. As I am running around the house stomping and screaming that our child is dying of some rare and unknown disease, he will be calmly watching television and assuring me that everything is FINE, just FINE.

I just pray that he will always be right.