Away from Home for the Holidays

With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, I am having mixed feelings about this holiday. On one hand, I'm sad that Hubby will not be here to share it with me. On another hand, I'm EXCITED because my great friend from home will be here visiting. And, on ANOTHER hand (didn't you know military wives have three hands?) I'm feeling disappointed to be once again missing out on a big family gathering.

You see, this year my whole family will be at my parents' house for the feast (or, everyone that matters, anyway), including one of my cousins (who sometimes seems more like a 4th sibling and has been working out of the country for the past few years) AND my brother's girlfriend (who apparently is soon to be his fiance).

But, you know, I can handle the missing out on the big family gatherings thing. As long as the family remembers to mention me in the majority of their conversations (or that's how it goes in my imagination anyway).

What I CANNOT handle, however, is the moment where I make the obligatory holiday phone call home.

It usually goes a little something like this:

The phone gets passed around like a hot potato -- each person feigning interest in the telephone call while being distracted with conversation and laughter going on in the background. It's very annoying. And, it happens EVERY time.

So, family, this year do me a big favor. When I make my phone call, use all of your self-restraint and actually BE interested in your phone conversation with me. And, whatever you do, do NOT talk and laugh with the people in the background.

I understand that this may be a tall order, but I believe that you can handle it. I have faith in you. :)

So, do we have a deal?

comparison

Tonight while driving home from an evening with the ladies, I had a deep moment that I thought I would share with all (2) of my readers.
Here it is: (be prepared for brilliance)
Trying to explain life as a military wife (with a Hubby deployed) to non-military wives(and non-wives) is like trying to explain menstrual cramps to a man.

You never really understand until you experience it for yourself.

I Hate it When People Hate Me

Remember when I wrote about my run-in with a Marine Corps fiance? Well, after I wrote things got a lot uglier. Ugly to the point that she said some very hurtful things to me. Ugly to the point that I had to tell her that if she wrote to me again I would not read it because she was being nothing but hateful to me. Ugly. Ugly. Ugly.

And, even though it's been a couple of weeks since that whole mess, I still think about it sometimes.

Not because I cared about what she said. Not because I thought she was right. But, because I really HATE when people HATE me. And, let me tell you, she sure does hate me.

I'm actually a very sensitive person when it comes down to it. It's hard for me to hear anyone saying anything negative about me. I don't take it well. Outwardly, you would never know that you got to me, though.

For example, today one of my students told me that when he says anything negative about me (to me) I never have a reaction. He was saying it in an admiring way.

But, if you want to know the truth, here it is:

I have a unique relationship with my students where they understand that most of the time they can joke around with me. Most of the time, I'm the one who actually begins the joking around business. Most of the time, if my class gets rowdy, I really know it's my fault. Because I got bored with standing there watching them work quietly.. so I decided to make a weird comment, or poke fun at someone to bring things back to life. So, most of the time it's OK for them to joke around with me.

MOST of the time when my students tease me about my hair, the homework assignment I gave them, the facial expressions I make, etc.. it rolls right off my back. I know not to take them seriously. I also know that if there's one thing that teenagers do well it's COMPLAIN.

However, there are times when my students say things that really hit me straight in the gut. Just yesterday, I got deeply offended when one of the 8th grade boys told me that the 3rd grade teacher has better candy than me.

See, I told you I'm just an old softy at heart.

And, of course, there was the 8th grader who on the bus back from a recent field trip decided to tell me (completely out of the blue), "I'm sorry to tell you Mrs. (Sorry), but you're not my favorite teacher. Mrs. A is (see: 3rd grade teacher who apparently also gives better candy than me) because she didn't give us homework." --
Hmm..

I said.. "Thanks, Chayanne, for sharing that information with me. I'm touched."

But, I was actually very mad. Not because I felt the need to defend myself (see: Of COURSE she gave you no homework. She was your 3rd grade teacher. You're not in 3rd grade anymore, buddy. It's about time you grow up!) I was mad because it BUGS me to know that there are people in the world walking around right now with a less than favorable opinion about me.

I guess if I really think hard about it though, I don't want to be the favorite teacher of an 8th grader who is too immature to realize that having an 8th grade teacher who gives homework is actually a good thing.

And,

when it comes down to it, I really do NOT want someone who is hateful and rude enough to attack my status as a military wife (and worse) to like me.

Problem solved.

Last night Hubby called! Yippee!

BUT,

the phone connection cut out every 3 minutes like clock work. I think Hubby called at least 12 times just so that we could finish our conversation.

Can you say, FRUSTRATING?!

You know your husband has been gone too long...

When you actually SCREAM out loud with excitement when your favorite on-screen love duo finally kiss for the first time!

That's what happened to me tonight, at least, while I was watching my new favorite show. After I screamed out loud with excitement (and woke both of my dogs from their peaceful slumber) I decided that I am suffering from an unfortunate lack of romance in my life.

And, to those of you who have recently been less than grateful towards your significant other here's a tidbit that might have you giving him/her an extra long hug tonight. After suffering through a two week communication drought with Hubby (due to a trip to Fallujah that was extended longer than expected & a fried laptop) for all I knew I could have been in 7th Heaven this morning when we were finally able to talk ON THE PHONE without any loss of connection for a whopping 25 minutes.

What can I say? I've learned to live my life for the little things; because, the big ones are few and far between these days!

Tonight

I lost myself in our President elect's speech tonight. I lost myself in tears and hope and joy. I forgot where I was for a moment in time. When Barack Obama was finished speaking and after he left the stage, my siberian husky (who had been sitting on the couch with me throughout the speech) moved a little bit, and I realized then that I had left my living room during that speech. So, I stopped to look around.. wanting to savor the moment.

When I looked around, I saw an empty living room. I realized then that I had just experienced one of the most important moments in our nation's history without my husband. But, this realization did not make me sad. This realization made me even more filled with hope for the future of our country. This realization gave me an even more profound understanding of the significance of this election.. and the significance of having a President whose judgement I can trust and whose leadership I can be inspired by.

Tonight I experienced one of the most important moments in our nation's history while my husband slept in his bed thousands of miles away in a border fort on the Iraqi/Syrian border. And, tonight.. for the first time in a long, long time.. I cried tears of joy.

I am a Damn Good Military Wife

It all started with a bulletin on myspace. It was a hoax article claiming that Obama not only chooses NOT to salute the flag, but that he and his wife have attended several flag burnings. It was posted by a military girl whose fiance is in Iraq with Hubby. She and her Buddy (who is also on Hubby's Team) had been posting offensive/ignorant/racist things on their myspace pages for the past couple of months. I had ignored all of these things, while regretting deeply that I had ever friended these ladies on myspace in the first place. I knew it was best for me not to say anything.. not to rock the boat. Everyone is entitled to her own opinion.. no matter how uninformed that opinion may be.

I drew the line, however, with this bulletin. It was a flat out lie. So, I posted a comment saying as such and included a link refuting this hoax. I figured that no matter which side you're on: Obama or McCain, everyone wants to be HONEST at least, don't they? Everyone wants to know the FACTS, right?

Wrong.

What I received back from my comment was an angry message with many explitives explaining that she wasn't going to look at my stupid link, and that even if "some" of the information wasn't true in the article it didn't matter because Obama has no respect for the country or the flag. And, she gave me her two cents about what she thinks of my political opinions.

I was so mad; I was shaking. Not only had she taken things to a level of complete disrespect, but she also "did not care" that she was spreading untruths about Obama.

After calming myself, I decided to take the high road. My husband has to live and work with her fiance for the next 4 months. And, while I wish I could have deleted her message and in effect deleted HER from my life, I knew it wouldn't work like that. She is going to be part of my life for the next 4 months, too. So, I wrote back and basically explained that I absolutely respect her RIGHT to have her own political opinions, but that it's important for people to base those opinions on the policies and facts.. not fantastical stories floating around the internet. I said I don't want to make enemies of her, it won't do anyone any good, and that I think the most important thing is that we support one another, not cause each other added drama.

I felt very big and mighty. I could have sunk to her level. I could have argued the points with her. But, in this case, I knew it would do absolutely NO good.

While I chose NOT to attack her obvious support for John McCain, she chose to have the last word. She wrote back saying that I can support Obama all I want, but she just needed to tell me that Obama doesn't support my husband and therefore doesn't support me. She also felt the need to tell me that SHE supports her husband, the war in Iraq, and Bush.

And, of course, after attacking me and my standing as a good military wife, she went on to say that we'll just have to agree to disagree. And then moved on to talk "happy" talk.. as though she hadn't just attacked me on a very personal/military wife level...

Because I am not really sure what to do in response to this. Because I feel attacked as a military wife. Because I do not think I could be trusted to be respectful if I were to write back to her right now. I am writing a blog. And, to anyone who reads this blog, I want to be clear about one very important thing..just so that no one is confused. I am a GOOD military wife. No, forget that. I am an INCREDIBLE military wife.

Do I support the War in Iraq? That question does not hold an easy answer for me. Do I believe that what my husband does over there is worthwhile? Yes. I believe that what he and his Team are doing is making a positive difference in the country of Iraq. Do I think that Iraq is where we should be expending the majority of our military resources? No. I don't. I believe that we need to get out of Iraq responsibly and put our military force in the place where we should have sent them from the very beginning: Afghanistan.

Do I support George Bush? Absolutely not. I believe that he has made foolish and dangerous decisions for his country and his military.

Do I support my Husband as an Officer in the Marine Corps who is currently serving his 2nd deployment to Iraq? Yes. With every last shred of who I am, I support my husband. I support him during the difficult times, military career changes, moves across the country, two deployments to Iraq. I support him by being the strength he needs here at home so that he doesn't need to worry about what's going on HERE while he's worried about what's going on THERE. I support my military. And, I support the military families by serving as a Key Volunteer - the families' contact person for the duration of the deployment.

I even support the military families who think that I am somehow less of a wife because I choose to vote Democrat.

I am a Damn good military wife. How dare anyone ever try to insinuate otherwise.