Insomnia Cont'd

I couldn't sleep again last night. And I wasn't very happy about it. It was NOT a pleasant night for me. This time, I couldn't sleep in and get my full 8 hours since I already took those two days off from responsibility thanks to my LAST bout with insomnia. So, I guess I'll just have to be tired today.

I have a vague recollection last deployment of discussing the fact that I was having trouble sleeping after Hubby left. But, I don't actually remember anything like the two nights I've had recently. I mean.. maybe it took me an hour longer or something to get to sleep last deployment.. but 5 hours to get to sleep? 5 hours? Seriously?! What's the problem here?!

So, I took the opportunity to look up "I can't sleep while Hubby is deployed" on google and discovered that insomnia while Hubby is on deployment is very common. But, that's not really any relief and for once sharing the same experience of other military wives does NOT bring me any comfort. I do NOT want to be unhappily awake in the middle of the night and exhausted during the day for the duration of this deployment!

Unfortunately, now that I've experienced this a couple of times, I think I'm going to have some anxiety every time I go to bed. I think I'll be expecting a night of insomnia and because of this might actually cause myself to have one. It's a vicious cycle.

The worst thing about my insomnia last night is that I actually started to get scared. I'm OK at home alone... but every now and then... if I'm awake late at night... I get a little nervous and start picturing invaders creeping around the outside of my house. And, to be honest with you, the fact that I could hear my border collie standing in front of the back door growling a very LOW pitched and serious growl for ten minutes didn't make me less afraid. He's a GREAT dog to have around, but every now and then he growls at his own shadow like it's a murderer and it scares the living CRAP out of me.

This is just one more reason why I would really prefer to be blissfully sleeping at 3:00 am.. Not tossing and turning and wondering, "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!"

Oh insomnia.. please go away and leave me alone. :(