Ugh.

After such an uplifting blog last time, I almost hate to ruin it with the negativity I'm about to write. But, this blog is my venting place, so here goes nothing..

Today, for the first time in a LONG time, I left school feeling like I wanted to cry. It's possible that my hormones are just flying all over the place right now, or, it's possible that I am actually that saddened by watching teenagers go down the drain.

Last year I had a student who drove me to madness. I spent so much time and energy working with him. I tried so hard to help him to make good decisions. And, after months of what seemed to be a turnaround, I ended up suspending him from school on the next to last day of school. You see, he was on a behavior contract for previous bad misbehavior and for any breach of the contract the punishment was immediate suspension. Well, while participating in a "fun" end-of-the-year spelling bee -- he got out -- and proceeded to scream at me that I didn't know how spelling bees worked. So, I sent him out of the room to cool off. When I went out a few minutes later to talk to him, I discovered him outside, relaxing in the sun and enjoying a delicious chocolate chip cookie. -- The story the kids like to tell is that he got suspended for eating a chocolate chip cookie. But, as I'm sure you as a logical reader understand, it was all much more complicated than a chocolate chip cookie.

Well, to both my sadness and relief this student chose not to come back to the school this year. I hate to say to my relief, but it's the truth. I know that this school year has been 20 times less stressful because this student is no longer in the class. Believe it or not, 1 person can make a huge difference in a class.

Well, this ex-student was back on our campus today for the second time this year. His grandfather is the head of our maintenance department, so sometimes he brings his grandson to work with him. Today was one of those days. And, in case you hadn't already guessed, this ex-student's presence is the reason why I left work feeling like I wanted to cry.

You see, he has gone down hill this year, and as far as I can see, the thought of where he is going to be in his future is very scary. During every encounter I have had with him this year he has been disrespectful and rude to me. Last time he was on campus, I was walking with my class to church and he yelled across the parking lot, "Looking good Mrs. Diaz!" -- Today when he came to say hello to me after school, I told him I was glad to see him again to which he responded, "I'm sorry I can't say the same." --

I told my principal that his grandfather shouldn't be allowed to bring him to the school anymore.

It makes me sad to say it, but, he's out of my hands at this point, and I can't let him continue to disrespect me in front of my students the way he has.

So, yes. Today for the first time ALL year, I left school wanting to burst into tears.