I was very frustrated yesterday, but not with Sawyer. I was frustrated with myself. Probably I shouldn't have been frustrated with anyone. I should simply have coughed it up to, 'one of those things to make me stronger - one of those things to work to improve'.
But at the time? When I'm living it? I feel like it is the be all and end all of everything. I get super intense and stubborn about the whole thing.
Even during that whole escapade, though, (which I'm realizing now took up almost our entire day together - holy crap!) I stopped for a moment and smelled the roses. I told Sawyer that he is my greatest gift and my greatest challenge.
Maybe it's my short term memory kicking in here, but I swear that commanding a room full of 34 7th graders was never quite as challenging as this mommy stuff.
It was never quite as rewarding either.
In the rare event that Sawyer stops his desperate attempts at seeing everything in the entire world and actually rests his head on my shoulder... I get chills. Literally. Oh I love him so.
Last weekend after we returned home from a bar-b-q where Sawyer was on his very best behavior - Mike held Sawyer in his arms and said, "Sawyer, you are the best thing about our life."
I could have exploded with joy.
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