Last night Sawyer slept 9 hours without waking. It was quite the event. When he did finally wake up to eat, he didn't want to go right back to sleep as is his usual pattern in the early am. He wanted to celebrate a bit. So I put him on my bed, and he talked to me for a bit. I started to get a little sleepy, so I placed my hand on his chest and closed my eyes for a moment.

When I opened them, his hands were resting on mine and he was staring intently at me. I stared back. While we gazed lovingly into one another's eyes, I thought about how lucky I am to have a precious little guy who brings so much joy to my life.

Not all of my days with him are great. In fact, I often feel like a bumbling idiot and find myself frustrated at my inability to figure out what he wants and needs.

But he loves me despite my shortcomings. He is actually completely fascinated with me. Just as he stared so intently and lovingly at me this morning, so he does the same thing when I am on the phone or talking with Mike. Any time my attention is not completely on him, he takes that opportunity to thorougly examine me. I wonder what he thinks as he gazes with those big inquiring eyes. I hope he realizes that I may not be perfect, but I'm his... that I love him with everything in me, and I will be the best mother I can be for him.

I hope he understands these things. Somehow, I believe that he does.