Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock

For the 2nd time this week, I compared the countdown to deployment to the countdown of a death row inmate. I was telling Michael to plan his meals carefully since they will be his last... we laughed about it. Then, he commiserated with the death row inmate saying he knows why they're so calm when they take those final steps to their death; they have been waiting around so long with this death thing over their heads they just want to get on with it already. It's the same for deployment. It was one of our more interesting (odd?) conversations, I'll give you that.

As much as we are pros at this whole thing, clearly this process never gets easy. I'm at the point now that I want him to stay, but at the same time just want to get this whole saying goodbye thing over with already because the anticipation of it is absolutely dreadful.

When I feel myself drowning in a cloud of depression I catch myself and drag myself back out. Yes, this year will be lonely. Yes, life without Michael is no fun whatsoever. Yes, it exhausts me just thinking of keeping up with the house, yard, pool, bills, trash, dogs, and cars alone. But, yes, I can do it. I am mighty woman. Hear me roar!

Or something like that.

I went through a little phase last weekend where I was an emotional wreck. I had a not-so-great evening with Michael and friends and the next day I had my first ever awful parent-teacher conference. Awful, as in, I got yelled at by a mother and was too rattled by the experience to defend myself properly. Luckily, my principal was there and stepped in on my behalf. Afterwards, I felt terrible for all the complaining I have done about my principal. She sure saved my butt that day. In any case, all that drama in such a short period of time added to the fact that the clock is ticking on Michael's departure, and I was a bit of an emotional train wreck. I actually cried in front of some of my co-workers which is a first and hopefully a last for me. I. Do. Not. Like. Crying. In. Front. Of. People. Especially not people I work with!

My next post will more than likely be some sort of picture of Michael with all of his gear heading off to Afghanistan. If you are the praying sort of person, do me a favor and keep us (but mostly him) in your prayers. Pray for his quick and safe return. And if you have an extra moment pray for my sanity, too.

Thanks, I do appreciate it.