Fanjiggerated

Last night I finally heard from Hubby. He has officially left the border fort and will be getting on a plane sometime in the near future to get the heck out of that godforsaken country called Iraq! Yippee! The ball is really rolling now, and I am floating on a cloud of euphoria.

As per my last blog, I did have a black cloud dampen my spirits a bit with that whole "getting hung up on" thing, however, as usual - my conversation with Hubby helped me to get a grip!

That's what's so great about him.

Sometimes I have a tendency to... hmm.. how shall I put it? FREAK OUT about things. I spend hours going back and forth in my mind about what I should do about a situation, but with Hubby, the answers are always so simple. So just as I expected, very simply, he told me to forget about that girl and stop passing any of my information onto her as she obviously does not want to receive it from me. Sounds easy, right? Right. But, somehow, I just can't come up with a solution like that on my own.

But I digress.

One of the teachers at my school asks me every single time she sees me if I'm excited about Hubby's return. If I'm nervous. What I'm feeling. And, I don't really have an answer to those questions.

When he returned from his last deployment, I was definitely a bundle of nerves and unanswered questions. I really wasn't sure how things would be when he returned. I didn't know if we would easily fall back into old routines or if we would have to get used to each other again. I wondered whether he had changed dramatically or if he would think that I had changed too much. I worried that there would be things about him when I saw him again that I would realize I had forgotten over time. I was anxious to find out whether he had new jokes he like to tell, words he liked to use, or phrases he liked to say. I wondered if he would have developed any new mannerisms.

I basically just had a chorus of questions running through my mind. I didn't know how things would be. So, naturally, while being extremely excited to see him again, I was also pretty damn anxious about the whole thing.

But, this time, I already pretty much know what to expect. I know that before when we got in that car and headed for home, all I remember feeling was that someone had done a huge rewind in my life and we were back exactly where we left each other. There were no awkward pauses. There was no politeness. It was as if 7 months of distance and time apart had never even happened. We were completely comfortable and in sinc. While I can't say for certain that I know it will be that way again, I can only imagine that it will. So, for that part, at least, I have no worries.

I feel confident that just like last time we will pick our marriage up right where we left it.

My only real concern is that we will fall back into old habits... spending too much money, being too lazy, eating too much junk. He, of course, has been forced to eat better and be active. But, I have started making healthier choices for myself while he has been gone, and I really want it to be a lifestyle change for both of us.

We have discussed this at length and are both prepared to get into better habits this time. I promised to stop bugging him to go out to eat so much and he promised to stop being so lazy on the weekends. We both promised to be better with our money. Afterall, we did just spend an entire deployment getting ourselves out of the debt we put ourselves in when he returned from his last deployment. And, since starting a family seems to be on our not-too-distant horizon, making better choices with our money is definitely a must.

I guess you can see by the randomness of this blog that right now my mind is just a whirlwind of thoughts.

What it all boils down to is that I am excited. No, excited doesn't cut it. I really don't think that a word exists in the English language to adequately describe the way that I am currently feeling about the fact that I will get to hug my husband so soon that I can count the days on one hand.

There is no word, so I'll make one up. fanjiggerated. That's it. I'm fanjiggerated about the idea of seeing my Hubby so soon.