the OPPOSTIVE of Type A - that's ME!

Yesterday at lunch with my fellow teachers, I realized something that I pretty much already knew (on some level). All of the teachers were talking about their Type A (everything needs to be in its place and MUST be perfect) personalities. They were speaking in reference to their homes. I was the only person in that room to claim that I am, indeed, messy. And, to ease the expressions of horror on their faces when I said it, I had to follow my statement with the quip, "I used to think it was my HUSBAND who was messy... and then he deployed.... and I realized my house was STILL messy" -- They laughed at this.. albeit.. a little uneasily.

I'm a strange phenomenon to these people. And, the funny thing is, when they "imagine" my messy house I'm sure they just picture some items out of place and shoes on the floor instead of in the closet. Ha! Ha! Ha! I laugh at the mere thought of this. If you want to know what REAL messy is.. step into my house in the middle of a workweek. I guarantee you'll turn right around and hightail it out of there! Especially if you're one of those TYPE A - I-put-my-dish-towels-in-exactly-the-same-place-every-day-and-know-if-someone-has-moved-them-an-inch people (as one of the teachers says she is).

Speaking of messy houses. I have resolved to myself that I WILL clean this weekend, no matter how much I hate it.

And, while I'm on the topic of weekends, I was just now thinking that weekend seem so much longer when Hubby is not here. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

I can't be sure. Probably a little of both.

So Looneely

For an anniversary present, my mother-in-law paid for me to get a facial. And, the esthetician did such a good job of convincing me that because of the facts that

a) I am caucasion (she is a 48 Korean woman who looks like she's 30 -- seriously)and
b) I have VERY dry skin

if I don't do something about my skin, I will one day look in the mirror and find a wrinkly prune staring back at me.

I think it was a combination of the facts that a) she's a convincing saleswoman and b) I had already been thinking these same thoughts myself... that caused me to pre-purchase a package of 5 facials for the next 5 months. It was my anniversary present... to myself.

Today, while enjoying my 2nd facial (first of my five) it came into the conversation that my husband is deployed. When I told Annie (my esthetician) that Hubby is deployed, she did not skip a beat.

"Oh," she said, "but your in-laws live in San Diego, right?"

Me: "Um, no, actually they live Maryland part of the year and Florida part of the year"

Annie: "Oh. Well, your family lives here, right?"

Me: (Pause)

Annie: "Parents? Sister? Brother? Aunts? Uncles? Cousins?"

Me: Um. No, actually my family all lives on the East Coast.. my parents live in Pennsylvania"

Annie: (Stopping what she's doing) You're from Pennsylvania?!

Me: yes

Annie: "Oh SARAH... YOU SO Looneely!!"

Me: awkard laugh

Annie: "But, you have friends here...... right?"

Me: "Yes... I have friends"

And, thank God for friends. And my dogs. And technology that makes Hubby in Iraq and my family on the East coast not seem so very far away. And yes.. I'm saying it.. thank God for work.

Because without all of these things, Annie would probably be right. I probably would be "So Loooneely".

But, just today, after returning home from my facial (skin softer than a baby's bottom.. thank you, Annie!) I spent my afternoon chatting with Hubby online and even following him around the fantasy world of a computer game we play together online sometimes.

So. No. I'm not so lonely, afterall.

Positive Feedback

This school year, so far, has been pretty laid back for me. Despite the fact that I was extremely worried about my 8th grade class, they have proven to be more stress-free (for me) than the beloved 8th grade class I had last year.

I am not sure what to attribute this to..

But.. I do have to say that recently I have focused on the power of positive feedback with them. It's amazing how well it works.

When I want them to be quiet.. instead of saying.. "Please be quiet" -- I look around the room and mention the names of people who are doing what they SHOULD be doing. I say, "Thank you Joey for sitting so quietly. Thank you Ian for being ready for class to begin. Thank you Elizabeth for looking and listening while I give instructions."

And. It's amazing. Seriously. You can ask kids to be quiet 20 times.. you can say it loudly.. you can even be mean about it.. but often.. you are just talking to yourself. They don't listen. They don't care.

But, when you compliment someone else for his/her GOOD behavior.. it's amazing how they all snap to attention. They all so desperately want to be the one whose name is spoken.

Before I would say 5 times.. "Ok Class.. please quiet down" louder and louder until they had all heard me. Now, I simply begin to quietly thank the students who are attentive and within seconds I have everyone's undivided attention.

The power of positive feedback. It REALLY DOES work.

The Murphy's Law of Deployments

Did you know that there is a "Murphy's Law" for deployments? Well, there is. I think it goes something like this: Anything that can possibly fall apart in the house while hubby is deployed WILL. :) So far, I've been fairly lucky (knock on wood!!).

I do, however, have a recurring problem that only occurs when Hubby is gone. My sprinkler system. Last deployment one of my sprinklers would crap out about once a month. Every time someone came to visit, they found themselves in my yard digging holes and fixing the broken sprinkler heads.

And, do you think that in the 8 months that hubby was home any of those sprinklers broke?! Nope. Not one.

So, you can imagine how "UN"surprised and COMPLETELY annoyed I was last Thursday when I realized that one of my sprinklers was broken.

Interestingly enough, I realized my sprinkler was broken the exact DAY that my sister and her hubby were arriving into town. Hmm... de ja vue? People visiting.. and fixing sprinklers??

Well, I decided to turn over a new leaf and handle this one on my own. I'll keep you posted on how it turns out :)

Heartbroken

I am currently heartbroken.

No, not over my husband.... over my 2 and a half year old nephew.

When I am around him, there's no better description than to say he breaks my heart.

I don't know if I can have kids; because, I don't know if I can handle loving someone so much that my heart feels like it's going to explode.

I don't know if I can handle watching my child being ignored by the older kids on the playground, missing me when I walk out the door, growing up in THIS world.

I mean, I have serious turmoil and heartache about putting my dogs in the kennel for a week. I worry about them when I'm at work. Now.. imagine me with a kid?

Today I babysat my nephew all day (a first) by myself. And, I think I realized that I am going to be one of those hovering, worried-all-the-time parents.

But, I will also laugh and smile more than I probably ever have. And.. my heart will break a thousand times over.

That's just how it will be.

Military Wives

I can't take credit for writing this, but it's the best one of these "military wife" emails that I've ever read. Very true. Very moving. Hits home...

What is a MILITARY Wife?
They may look different and each is wonderfully unique
But this they have in common.


They have THIS IN COMMON!
lots of moving---
moving
moving
moving far from home
moving two cars, three kids and one dog----all riding with HER of course
moving sofas to basements because they won't go in THIS house
moving curtains that won't fit
moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours
moving away from friends moving toward new friends
moving her most important luggage; her trunk full of memories

often waiting-
waiting, waiting, waiting for housing; waiting for orders; waiting
for deployment; waiting for reunion; waiting
for phones calls;
waiting for the new curtains to arrive; waiting for him to come
home for dinner.


They call her 'military dependent', but she knows better
she can balance a checkbook
handle the yard work
fix a noisy toilet.


She is intimately familiar with drywall, anchors, and toggle bolts.


She can file the taxes, sell a house, buy a car, or set up a move, --
--all with ONE Power of Attorney.


She welcomes neighbors that don't welcome her.


Reinvents her career with every PCS; locates a house in the desert,
the arctic, or the deep south and learns to call them all 'home'.


She MAKES them all home.


She is fiercely IN-dependent
Military Wives are somewhat hasty
They leap into decorating, leadership, volunteering, career
alternatives, churches and friendships.


They don't have 15
years to get to know people.


Their roots are short but flexible.


They plant annuals for themselves and perennials for those who come after them.


Military Wives quickly learn to value each other.


They connect over coffee, rely on the spouse-network and accept offers of
friendship and favors and record addresses in pencil.


Military Wives have a common bond.


The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands.


His commitment is unique. He doesn't have a job, he has a 'mission' he can't just decide to quit.


He's on-call for his country 24/7 but for you, he's the most...
Unreliable guy in town...
His language is foreign: TDY, PCS, OPR, ACC, BDU
And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his.

She is the long-distance link to keep them informed; the glue that
holds them together.


Military Wife has her moments--
She wants to wring his neck, dye his uniform pink, and refuse to move to Siberia .


But she pulls herself together.


Give her a few days, a travel brochure, a long hot bath, a pledge to the flag, and a wedding picture.


And she goes.


She packs.


She moves.


She follows.


Why?
What for?
How come?
You may think it is because she has lost her mind.


But actually it is because she has lost her heart.


It was stolen from her by a man
who puts duty first
who salutes the flag
and whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military husband,
She will remain his Military wife.

New Democrat Campaign Slogans...

These are my recommendations... :)

"McCain picked a chick? Wow. Still not voting for him"

"Obama: This time I want a SMART president"

"I'm leaning towards voting for the candidate not endorsed by the worst president in American history"

"McSame: Just like Bush but more feeble"

"Those who ignore history are doomed to vote Republican"

"The real McCain: less jobs, more wars"

"Sarah Palin: A woman who forces every American to ask, "Why am I not running for President?"