It's hard to write these days, because though on the surface it may appear that I'm living the easy, lazy life this summer there's actually a lot going on...
in my mind.
My parents are gone now. Boo Hoo! Though I gave them a hard time for never relaxing for even a moment while they were here, I do truly appreciate all the hard work they put into helping me get my physical surroundings in order. I'll never forget, the summer before I got married I was living back at home with my parents and one day my mom did a major clean of my bedroom. Because everything else in my life was in chaos at the time, it was her theory that having my physical surroundings neat and orderly would help. She was right. It did.
So I think that their trip out here this summer was along the same lines.
Being sick (1st trimester), insanely busy, and even on crutches for a while (stupid foot injury) I really hadn't kept up with anything at my house pretty much since Michael left in March. I'm generally not a very good housekeeper, but I'm never that bad. It feels really great right now bc my house is in great shape, everything to it's place, and all I have to do is keep up with it.
The best part? I actually feel good enough to keep up with it. Not to mention that I actually have the time.
So far it really does seem like Mike is going to continue to be deployed for the original 12 month timespan. I'm nothing but mixed feelings with all of this. Totally annoyed that the 6 month option ever even had to come up and get me all excited. Nervous to abandon my house for such a long period of time. Happy to be moving back to my parents' house where I will be surrounded with not just people but family. It's easy to get used to being alone, but you don't realize how hard it really is until you have people around and then they leave. But I adapt quickly.
I'm nervous for my dogs -- another huge change in their lives. I'm worried Mike won't be there for the birth of the baby... or worse yet... the baby will be late and on his 2 week r&r mike will only be able to see me as a 9 month pregnant miserable whale and not get to meet his baby...
In the end, though, I just have to believe that things will happen how they're meant to happen. As long as at the end of all of this Mike comes back from deployment safe and sound and we have a healthy baby it will all have been worth it.
It's a BOY by the way. Which is super exciting. Some of the family members seem to be a bit disappointed... since both my sister and mike's sister have 2 boys and no girls to be seen yet on either side of the family. We're happy, though.
I feel the baby move all the time now. It's awesome. I get nervous on the days when I don't feel the baby move as much. But that's suppposed to be normal, soo....
Tomorrow the teachers at my school are throwing me a little baby shower. My belly growth is slow but sure. You get used to the movies where one day the mom's belly is flat and the next day she has the belly of a 7 month pregnant woman. You don't see the inbetween stage. The stage where people look at you for a moment and you can hear them wondering, "is that lady pregnant... or does she just have a round gut?" that's the stage I've been in for quite some time now, and though I'm ready to leave it behind I'm also seriously concerned about getting stretch marks so maybe this bigger/but not quite big enough to be obvious belly is ok with me for now.
ahhh.
so I really must get the heck off of this computer because I am sure the more I write the crazier I seem. Yes. my mind is ALL OVER THE PLACE.
But I'm happy.
I swear to you, I am.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
working on a baby room
My parents arrived in San Diego last Tuesday and since arriving have created dramatic change in my house... in my tiny, tiny 1100 square foot house.
I didn't think it could be done, but my computer room has been completely emptied out and all the furniture in that room has been moved to my living room. The serving table that was in my living room is now in the kitchen. A dresser from my guest room has found its new home inside my bedroom. And my elliptical machine is now residing comfortably in the guest room. Who knew my tiny house had all of this room for shifting furniture? I sure didn't. All that and we only had one furniture casualty - a chaise lounger that I was not at all sorry to say goodbye to and that was picked up off of my sidewalk after only 20 minutes or so thanks to a little sign attached to it that said FREE.
My dad worked hard cleaning the carpets in both my bedroom and the baby's room and painting the baby's room a pale green. I desperately wanted a white crib and changing table, but alas it was not to be. I did find some white cribs but they either cost over $300 or they were not to my taste whatsoever. Finally, I went with the style of crib I loved and opted for a cinnamon wood color instead. It is very pretty and it brings out the pale green of the walls.
We're waiting until July 9 when we find out the sex of the baby to put the finishing touches on the room, so I will wait to post pictures until it is all set.
However, I can tell you that my plan is that if it's a girl the accent color will be a pale purple and if it's a boy the accent color will be a deep brown.
I am very excited.
I am also excited about the fact that my belly has grown significantly just in the last week or so. On Saturday I will be 19 weeks pregnant which according to the pregnancy calendars is the start of my 5th month of pregnancy. 5 months?! Holy Cow time is flying by! (and I don't mind one bit!)
Stay tuned for pictures later, but for now I just thought I'd stop in and let you know what I've been up to.
I didn't think it could be done, but my computer room has been completely emptied out and all the furniture in that room has been moved to my living room. The serving table that was in my living room is now in the kitchen. A dresser from my guest room has found its new home inside my bedroom. And my elliptical machine is now residing comfortably in the guest room. Who knew my tiny house had all of this room for shifting furniture? I sure didn't. All that and we only had one furniture casualty - a chaise lounger that I was not at all sorry to say goodbye to and that was picked up off of my sidewalk after only 20 minutes or so thanks to a little sign attached to it that said FREE.
My dad worked hard cleaning the carpets in both my bedroom and the baby's room and painting the baby's room a pale green. I desperately wanted a white crib and changing table, but alas it was not to be. I did find some white cribs but they either cost over $300 or they were not to my taste whatsoever. Finally, I went with the style of crib I loved and opted for a cinnamon wood color instead. It is very pretty and it brings out the pale green of the walls.
We're waiting until July 9 when we find out the sex of the baby to put the finishing touches on the room, so I will wait to post pictures until it is all set.
However, I can tell you that my plan is that if it's a girl the accent color will be a pale purple and if it's a boy the accent color will be a deep brown.
I am very excited.
I am also excited about the fact that my belly has grown significantly just in the last week or so. On Saturday I will be 19 weeks pregnant which according to the pregnancy calendars is the start of my 5th month of pregnancy. 5 months?! Holy Cow time is flying by! (and I don't mind one bit!)
Stay tuned for pictures later, but for now I just thought I'd stop in and let you know what I've been up to.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
that's more like it
la la la la la la la.
now that's more like it.
I awoke to an email from Mike this morning... it went a little something like this:
"bad news. It might be a year. (random marine group) is fighting it. it's an ongoing battle. so you should plan to move East for now."
That sounds more like the marine corps I know and.... know.
I guess I'm just not going to hold my breath either way. I hope he comes home early. I'm annoyed, because I had been all set for a year and now have hopes for shorter. such is life, though.
onward I go...
now that's more like it.
I awoke to an email from Mike this morning... it went a little something like this:
"bad news. It might be a year. (random marine group) is fighting it. it's an ongoing battle. so you should plan to move East for now."
That sounds more like the marine corps I know and.... know.
I guess I'm just not going to hold my breath either way. I hope he comes home early. I'm annoyed, because I had been all set for a year and now have hopes for shorter. such is life, though.
onward I go...
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
good news... i think!
So here's the latest...
apparently, Mike has a replacement. apparently, the marine corps might do to mike's year depoloyment that which is basically unheard of: cut it short. turn it into a 7 month deployment. wow.
I mean. I can't say that it is a total shock. Going into the deployment the goal of his command was to bring everyone home after 6 or 7 months. They told us not to count on it. They assured us that replacements were few and far between - difficult to find.
Despite what you may think, the marine corps doesn't actually want their marines deployed for an entire year. They are actually aware of how much of a strain this is for the marines and their families. But really? How often do you hear that a deployment has been cut short? You hear about extended deployments. all. the. time. But shortened deployments? no ma'am. I've never heard of one. ever.
So that's the news. He apparently has a replacement and will probably be coming home October-ish (we think). But that's all we know. It hasn't yet been set in stone. There is not a definite return date. It's all still a little bit too much up in the air for my taste.
But I'm trying to be patient.
Because..... I mean it's good news. I can wait a little longer to get more clarification on this good news. For now, I will just have to be content with this news and not freak out about it too much.
However, here's the thing. There's this other little human involved in this whole military life now and things aren't as easy as they were before. My plan was to move back to the East Coast at the end of this summer and be there until Mike's return in March. Now that Mike will probably be back in October, aka before the baby is born!, it doesn't sound like moving to the East Coast is such a great plan any more.
We need to know for sure, though. We need to know for sure that Mike is coming back early and for sure that he will be here before the baby is born. We need to know these "for sures" so that I can make plans for our baby.
I guess I just have to make a couple of plans and go with the one that seems to make the most sense when it's time for action. I wasn't planning to move until the end of August anyway, so we have a couple of months to figure all of this out. I am doing my best to be patient. It is not easy. I'm managing, though.
In any case, the idea of Mike for sure being here when I go to the hospital to deliver? Priceless. So, I suppose I can take a little uncertainty for a little while if the end result is him being here for that very important day.
Until then......
pray for my sanity... and mike's early return from Afghanistan.
apparently, Mike has a replacement. apparently, the marine corps might do to mike's year depoloyment that which is basically unheard of: cut it short. turn it into a 7 month deployment. wow.
I mean. I can't say that it is a total shock. Going into the deployment the goal of his command was to bring everyone home after 6 or 7 months. They told us not to count on it. They assured us that replacements were few and far between - difficult to find.
Despite what you may think, the marine corps doesn't actually want their marines deployed for an entire year. They are actually aware of how much of a strain this is for the marines and their families. But really? How often do you hear that a deployment has been cut short? You hear about extended deployments. all. the. time. But shortened deployments? no ma'am. I've never heard of one. ever.
So that's the news. He apparently has a replacement and will probably be coming home October-ish (we think). But that's all we know. It hasn't yet been set in stone. There is not a definite return date. It's all still a little bit too much up in the air for my taste.
But I'm trying to be patient.
Because..... I mean it's good news. I can wait a little longer to get more clarification on this good news. For now, I will just have to be content with this news and not freak out about it too much.
However, here's the thing. There's this other little human involved in this whole military life now and things aren't as easy as they were before. My plan was to move back to the East Coast at the end of this summer and be there until Mike's return in March. Now that Mike will probably be back in October, aka before the baby is born!, it doesn't sound like moving to the East Coast is such a great plan any more.
We need to know for sure, though. We need to know for sure that Mike is coming back early and for sure that he will be here before the baby is born. We need to know these "for sures" so that I can make plans for our baby.
I guess I just have to make a couple of plans and go with the one that seems to make the most sense when it's time for action. I wasn't planning to move until the end of August anyway, so we have a couple of months to figure all of this out. I am doing my best to be patient. It is not easy. I'm managing, though.
In any case, the idea of Mike for sure being here when I go to the hospital to deliver? Priceless. So, I suppose I can take a little uncertainty for a little while if the end result is him being here for that very important day.
Until then......
pray for my sanity... and mike's early return from Afghanistan.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Lovely Summer
Holy Cow have do I ever have a lot to accomplish this week!
I'm accomplishing it... slowly... very slowly.
Today I spent my morning at school where I made a tiny dent in the cleaning-out-my-classroom process. Around 11:30 am it got a little too warm in my non-air conditioned classroom and my belly was a little too hungry so I took a much needed lunch break with my buddy. That was lovely.
After lunch I closed up my classroom and took a spontaneous trip to Target. There were some items that I needed to purchase... including t-shirts that fit my expanding form.
After Target I hit the Farmer's Market for some good produce and healthy food that my body has been craving lately.
When I got home I ignored the disaster of a house I live in and headed out to the backyard to do a little bit of work in my disaster of a yard. After making it less of a disaster, I rewarded myself by relaxing with my feet in the pool reading the first book in the Sookie Stackhouse series. I'm only on chapter 2 and already in love with it. I am also in love with my pool. and reading a book with my feet dipped inside of it.
All in all, I have to say... Day 1 of summer vacation = nothing less than lovely.
I'm accomplishing it... slowly... very slowly.
Today I spent my morning at school where I made a tiny dent in the cleaning-out-my-classroom process. Around 11:30 am it got a little too warm in my non-air conditioned classroom and my belly was a little too hungry so I took a much needed lunch break with my buddy. That was lovely.
After lunch I closed up my classroom and took a spontaneous trip to Target. There were some items that I needed to purchase... including t-shirts that fit my expanding form.
After Target I hit the Farmer's Market for some good produce and healthy food that my body has been craving lately.
When I got home I ignored the disaster of a house I live in and headed out to the backyard to do a little bit of work in my disaster of a yard. After making it less of a disaster, I rewarded myself by relaxing with my feet in the pool reading the first book in the Sookie Stackhouse series. I'm only on chapter 2 and already in love with it. I am also in love with my pool. and reading a book with my feet dipped inside of it.
All in all, I have to say... Day 1 of summer vacation = nothing less than lovely.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
The END
When I first found out I was pregnant, there was a big part of me that thought that I would NOT survive the 3 busiest months of the school year feeling all sick, tired, and preggers and without Michael.
But I'm here to tell you.... I DID IT! I survived! I made it!
Yesterday was officially the last day of school. It should have been bittersweet. I should have shed a few tears. I should have had some sadness as I pulled out of that parking lot. But I didn't.
The truth is, I am just much too excited about my future that I don't have it in me to feel the slightest bit sad or sentimental about my past.
Well, I take that back, I did get a bit teary-eyed while watching the season finale of my new favorite show Glee. Somehow that show helped me find the tears that real life just wasn't providing for me.
In any case, I certainly felt loved during my last week. I received much of my favorite thing in the whole world to receive - letters and cards with heartfelt messages written inside. The binder where I keep special things from my students doubled in size this week, I'll just say that.
Probably the coolest thing that happened all week was that yesterday, on the last day of school, my very first class of 8th graders (now just finishing up their sophomore year in high school) showed up and spent the morning with me. 18 of them. 18 16-year-olds who could've spent their morning doing who knows what, decided instead to spend their morning in my classroom with me saying goodbye. It was indeed a special day that I will not soon forget.
All in all, I have no regrets and am ready to move forward.
My hope is that this distance from the classroom setting will give me a chance to reflect. Maybe I will miss it. Maybe I won't. Time will tell.
But I'm here to tell you.... I DID IT! I survived! I made it!
Yesterday was officially the last day of school. It should have been bittersweet. I should have shed a few tears. I should have had some sadness as I pulled out of that parking lot. But I didn't.
The truth is, I am just much too excited about my future that I don't have it in me to feel the slightest bit sad or sentimental about my past.
Well, I take that back, I did get a bit teary-eyed while watching the season finale of my new favorite show Glee. Somehow that show helped me find the tears that real life just wasn't providing for me.
In any case, I certainly felt loved during my last week. I received much of my favorite thing in the whole world to receive - letters and cards with heartfelt messages written inside. The binder where I keep special things from my students doubled in size this week, I'll just say that.
Probably the coolest thing that happened all week was that yesterday, on the last day of school, my very first class of 8th graders (now just finishing up their sophomore year in high school) showed up and spent the morning with me. 18 of them. 18 16-year-olds who could've spent their morning doing who knows what, decided instead to spend their morning in my classroom with me saying goodbye. It was indeed a special day that I will not soon forget.
All in all, I have no regrets and am ready to move forward.
My hope is that this distance from the classroom setting will give me a chance to reflect. Maybe I will miss it. Maybe I won't. Time will tell.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Working on closing that door..
Last night was my very last 8th grade graduation. The planning was nothing less than stressful, but I knew all along that all I had to do was get through last week and then it would be smoothe sailing to the end of the school year, summer vacation, and the beginning of my new life.
Graduation went off without a hitch. Well,unless you call the fact that both the parents and I scheduled a DJ for the after-graduation party a hitch. That's a funny story for another time, though.
Really, it was great. I'm not too sure how I should be feeling right now. I guess it really is how I've said before. I'm not going to miss the classroom. I don't think. I am going to miss the kids. After the graduation dance, the 8th graders were giving me farewell hugs and one girl latched onto my back and would not let go. She walked with me that way throughout the room as I said my goodbyes to everyone. I'm thinking maybe she is going to miss me. Just a hunch.
I think my brother said it best when he said that it's good that I have an "excuse" to leave my school. It's not my life's work. It was a good experience, but it would have been almost impossible for me to leave if I didn't have a good reason for doing so. Even with the pregnancy and my husband is deployed and I need to be with family reason I have students begging me to stay. I don't feel guilty now, but I can't imagine how guilty I would have felt if I had no better reason to leave than I simply wanted to go.
I am currently holding pretty strong to the idea that next week will be my last week in the classroom. At least in the traditional classroom. I like working with kids. I don't like being their teacher. That's what I know. That's enough for now.
The other thing I know is that I am over the moon excited to take a break from my career, focus on my family, and see what happens from there.
I am practically giddy about opening this new chapter of my life.
I'm feeling good. Michael is doing well. As far as I know the baby is healthy (I'm 15weeks today!). Our relationship is strong. Life is good.
Graduation went off without a hitch. Well,unless you call the fact that both the parents and I scheduled a DJ for the after-graduation party a hitch. That's a funny story for another time, though.
Really, it was great. I'm not too sure how I should be feeling right now. I guess it really is how I've said before. I'm not going to miss the classroom. I don't think. I am going to miss the kids. After the graduation dance, the 8th graders were giving me farewell hugs and one girl latched onto my back and would not let go. She walked with me that way throughout the room as I said my goodbyes to everyone. I'm thinking maybe she is going to miss me. Just a hunch.
I think my brother said it best when he said that it's good that I have an "excuse" to leave my school. It's not my life's work. It was a good experience, but it would have been almost impossible for me to leave if I didn't have a good reason for doing so. Even with the pregnancy and my husband is deployed and I need to be with family reason I have students begging me to stay. I don't feel guilty now, but I can't imagine how guilty I would have felt if I had no better reason to leave than I simply wanted to go.
I am currently holding pretty strong to the idea that next week will be my last week in the classroom. At least in the traditional classroom. I like working with kids. I don't like being their teacher. That's what I know. That's enough for now.
The other thing I know is that I am over the moon excited to take a break from my career, focus on my family, and see what happens from there.
I am practically giddy about opening this new chapter of my life.
I'm feeling good. Michael is doing well. As far as I know the baby is healthy (I'm 15weeks today!). Our relationship is strong. Life is good.
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