Moooving On...

This has been a pretty good week. Want to know why? Well, too bad, I'm going to tell you anyway.

First of all, three, I repeat, THREE people noticed that I'm losing weight. Each time one of them said something, I did a silent cheer inside my head.

I've been working really hard to lose weight. Throughout this process, though, the scale has not been my best friend. But I feel better and thinner, and was therefore completely excited that other people are noticing (and thus it is NOT just all in my head). I'm contemplating throwing my scale out the window tomorrow. I'll keep you posted on that.

Second of all, one of my students wrote the awesome Mrs. (Sorry) is... that I posted for your viewing pleasure in my last post. I love, love, love to receive unexpected compliments like that.

Actually, it's been a pretty good week for compliments from my students. (This MIGHT have something to do with the fact that report cards came out this week, and they were all trying to put in a little bit of last minute butt kissing.. but I will choose to pretend that is NOT the case).

Today, one of the 5th graders brought me a picture that she had drawn for me. It was a picture of a flower, and it said, "Mrs. (Sorry) is a lovely flower inside my heart". It was so sweet, I could have cried. (or was that the pms talking?) And the kicker... today an 8th grader.. yes, I said 8TH GRADER.. said, "Mrs. (Sorry) you're such an enthusiastic teacher." -- I gave him a wary look.. waiting for the punchline.. and said, "I'll take that as a compliment." To which he responded, "That's how I meant it." Wow. Needless to say, I was shocked. (and having a party inside of my head.. but I played it cool so as not to scare him off)

Other than that, it's just been minor stuff.. you know.. like.. I'm probably going to begin a Masters Degree Program in April. But, I'm not going to write about that because I really don't want to jinx myself. Currently, I'm fully on board with the idea and am deathly afraid that at any moment I'll chicken out and come up with some great excuse why this is not the best time.

So Mooooving on...

Today I made a joke in class with my 8th graders.. none of them laughed.. so I laughed and said Moooving on.. then they laughed. Then they explained to me that the funny part isn't me making jokes.. it's me responding to their lack of response to my jokes. Did you follow that?

Good.

Well, I'm off to bed to go read the book The Lovely Bones. I really need to stop reading it at night because it completely FREAKS me out, but I am just dying to know what happens next.

Mrs. (Sorry) is...

In my literature classes I regularly give my students a writing prompt, and they spend the first 7 (or so) minutes of class writing. Today, my student who wrote the date on the board also wrote Mrs. (Sorry) is... This was NOT the writing prompt (partially because I would be extremely frightened to see what the junior high students would write if it were), however, one of my students came up to me after class and wanted to read her prompt to me. She had used the Mrs. (Sorry) is... and it was so neat that I had to make a photocopy of it to keep.

Here it is:

Mrs. (Sorry) is...

super, awesome, cool, nice, kind, glamorous, smart, young, good, creative, fun, funny, a teacher, fashionable, fabulous, joyful, a good writer, a good influence, pretty, married, a superhero, a Twilight fan, happy, helpful, a role model, a dog lover, a candy-giver, composed, an actress, rocking, cheerful, content, sunny, likeable, a woman, confident, nice-shoes-buyer, agreeable, amiable, fun to be around, delightful, charming, festive, jolly, cheerful, sociable, calm, peaceful, friendly, pleasant, faithful, clever, a peacemaker, intelligent, fair, imaginative, living in San Diego, active, modern, lively, good-mannered, focused, an American, good-natured, independent, a leader, talented, a good reader, puzzling, prayerful.

How cool is that?

I think I'm going to fold it up, put it in my wallet, and get it out any time I'm feeling not-so-great about myself.

M.O.Y. R.I.P.

This deployment the most interesting thing happened. First of all, about a year ago, one of my very best friends in the world (Andrea) moved to San Diego. With her, she brought her roommate from PT (Physical Therapy) School, and within a week of their arrival, Andrea's college roommate also moved here.

It was a complete and total coincidence that we all happened to be in San Diego at the same time. The joke was that Andrea had a friend in San Diego representing each stage of her life: childhood (ME), College (Sue), and Grad School (Kristen).

Around the time that Hubby deployed, Andrea broke up with her boyfriend, Sue's husband moved to the East Coast to pursue a job there, and Kristen (continued) her long distance relationship with her boyfriend. ANOTHER coincidence.

We came to name ourseleves MOY (Mourning Our Youth) and have had many drinks, laughs, and nights on the town together over the past several months. We've celebrated our birthdays, taken a weekend trip to San Francisco, obsessed over Twilight together, and shared our pain of being ALONE. It's so interesting how life brought us all together to share the tough times over the past many months. For me, personally, having those ladies here, has made a world of difference this deployment.

Last night, we went out to dinner at an awesome Fondue restaurant in La Jolla to celebrate our time together and to officially say "goodbye". You see, Kristen's boyfriend moved out to San Diego after Christmas, Sue is leaving at the end of the month to be with her husband on the East Coast, Andrea's boyfriend will most likely be moving out to San Diego by the end of February, and Me? Well, if all goes as planned, I should have my Hubby back in my life by the end of February also.

While we are all so excited to have our "Happy Endings", I think we are all a bit nostalgic too.

It just goes to show that God really does provide you with just exactly what you need to get through the tough times. In our case, he gave us each other.

Knock On Wood

You know that you're 5 and a half months into a deployment when Hubby calls at 3:00 in the morning.. and instead of shrieking into the phone with excitement.. you're actually a teensy tiny bit frustrated that you've just lost out on a perfectly good night's sleep.

Well, that's what happened to me last night, anyway. Not that I wasn't completely happy to talk to him - it had been a few days, and I was starting to get a little agitated with the lack of communication. But, when he hung up abruptly after only about ten minutes of converstaion due to the early arrival of his team back from a patrol, it was just the slightest bit annoying that I could not fall right back to sleep.

Instead, I laid in bed planning what I will do in my classroom for my school's Open House at the end of January. After about an hour of that, I had to start repeating the "Our Father" prayer over and over in my head to make my brain stop THINKING so much. And, sometime, around 4:30 am, I finally fell alseep.

Today, being the very middle of the month of January, marks the beginning of a month and a half countdown until Hubby's return. I'm so excited.. and yet.. I somehow feel so unprepared.

How in the world did this deployment fly by so quickly? Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not complaining. I'm just amazed.

I can't begin to explain to you how much easier this deployment has been than the last. I was thinking about that today, and I decided this can be attributed to a number of things:

1) It's our 2nd deployment - and therefore, we both knew what to expect
2) My mom doesn't have CANCER this time
3) One of my very best friends lives here now
4) I've been working this deployment - and therefore - completely busy
5) Hubby is not watching his dreams shatter before his very eyes this deployment
6) I have a gardener and no longer have to spend my precious weekends outside doing yard work all by myself/at all
7) I have not had to flee my home in order to escape wildfires
8) My pool pump hasn't broken due to terrible debris and ash from aforementioned wildfires
9) My pool hasn't turned green due to broken pool pump
10) My dog hasn't dug a hole in my couch


I think you get the idea. This deployment = Paradise

compared to last deployment which = hell.

Now, if you don't mind I must go. You see, it would be just my luck that after writing this blog something horrible would go wrong. Therefore, I absolutely must go find the nearest piece of wood.. and knock on it.

New Day

Growing up, I journaled on a daily basis. I continued all the way through the end of my freshman year in college. For this reason, I have a razor sharp memory of my yester-years.

I also am infatuated with finding the perfect quote for the perfect situation. And, I don't often quote MYSELF, but I will today.

In one journal entry that I wrote sometime in the junior high era of my life, I said the following, "When things are going well for me, it seems like as soon as I acknowledge it in writing, things change for the worse."

I think of that quote often. You know why?

Because it's STILL true to this day!

After that last post where I basically claimed once and for all that my inner turmoil about being a teacher was officially over, doncha know that I went to school today and had absolutely THE worst teaching day ever.

Maybe I was tired.
Maybe it was the fact that it hit a record breaking 86 degrees today and there's no AC in my school.
Maybe it was just the curse of the fact that I acknowledged in writing that things were going well.

Whatever the reason, this day was awful. Pitiful. Dreadful. Horrific.

I was really about to get down on myself about it. I briefly considered changing my mind about the whole "meant to be a teacher" thing.

But, on my drive home - lucky for me I have a loong 45 minute drive home to spend fully contemplating my day - I decided not to let the day get me down. Yes, it's true, today the kids were pretty much the epitome of why every time I tell someone I'm a junior high teacher they gasp in dismay. However, I decided to take the focus off of them for a hot second and take a look in the (rearview) mirror. What could I have done differently today to make things better?

What did I not handle to the best of my ability? What changes can I make tomorrow so that I don't drive home tomorrow feeling like I've been run over by a pack of wild animals (or teenagers, if you will)?

I think I came up with a couple of pretty good answers to those questions.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I have a plan.

Wish me luck - and lots and lots of patience. :)

The Future?

This week, along with the rest of the world, I went back to work.

I was completely dreading it. There wasn't the teeniest ounce of me that wanted to go back.

But, the week went well. Very well. I was in such a GREAT mood all week. I'm not sure what to attribute this to. My friend suggested that the vacation refreshed me. That's a possibility. I have, however, also been considering the idea that I might just be less tired in general because I have been working out on a regular basis. At the end of my work day, I no longer feel like I've been hit by a MAC truck. It's incredible.

Actually, this week I decided that maybe I really am meant to teach. Here's the thing: It's not that I don't think I'm a good teacher. Honestly, I think I'm a GREAT teacher at least in the ways that I interact with my students. I seriously believe that I make a positive impact on those students. I just am not completely convinced that I am TEACHING them the material to the best of my ability. I think I do a great job with coming up with interesting projects and activities. I am definitely a "hands on" teacher who expects the students to be doing more of the talking & doing in class. However, I know that I am not the best teacher I could be. Today, I realized that actually going out there and getting my Master's degree in teaching isn't just about getting the degree. It's about LEARNING to be a BETTER teacher. I know that seems obvious to the average person, but it was a serious "AHA!" moment for me.

Therefore,
*Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye
I hereby swear that I will begin a Master's program.........

...as soon as Hubby returns from Iraq, and I actually know what the next few years are going to look like for us.

Remember my post about moving to Quantico? Well, THAT most likely won't happen. Hubby has no desire to work there. So, I had thoroughly convinced myself that staying in San Diego for the next few years was not only the BEST decision for us financially and practically, but that I am just not quite ready to leave this beautiful place yet.

And then,

I received a letter in the mail. Or, to be more exact, Hubby received a letter in the mail that I opened. It was from some squadron in Pennsylvania asking Hubby to come fly with them.

I was confused. ??? As far as I knew the only 53 helicopter squadrons in existence were located in San Diego, North Carolina, and Hawaii. So, I didn't say anything to Hubby about it.

Until today.. when I offhandedly mentioned the confusing letter that had arrived asking him to come fly for a squadron in Pennsylvania.

Hubby's reaction? "Oh my gosh, are you SERIOUS? I've been HOPING for that!"

Hmm. Apparently, there's a 53 squadron I never knew about. In Pennsylvania of all places. My HOME state!!!

But, really, I'm not going to get my hopes up about this. I'm just going to officially say that I am FINISHED convincing myself of anything until something is a done deal. (And if I've learned anything as a four year military wife veteran, it's that it's NOT a done deal until the moving truck is in the driveway!) Who knows where 2009 will take us. Virginia? Pennsylvania? a new chapter in San Diego? or possibly somewhere else? I have NO idea.

And, until I find out, I won't be pursuing any Master's Degree - or making any plans at all, for that matter.

Christmas 2008 at a Glance

I can't believe that my TWO WEEKS of Christmas vacation in Pennsylvania have already come and gone! This was an interesting vacation with a tiny little rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions throughout. I suppose I should just start at the beginning.

After securing my dogs at the kennel and locking up my house for the duration of my vacation, I was on my way to Pennsylvania. That's when the anxiousness of preparations went away and the excitement to arrive at my family home took its place. My plane landed an entire hour earlier than expected, however, getting my bags and getting out of the Dulles parking lot took TWO HOURS and truly tried my patience. Then, of course, I had to sit in the car for another two hours before FINALLY arriving at my parents' house. Whew. I felt a little bit like I would explode from the anticipation.

But, alas, I arrived. The very first thing I did was gorge myself on a wonderful homecooked meal - during which I ate a grand total of TWO baked potatoes. No, I'm not exaggerating. Yes, I agree, it's disgusting. BUT, in my defense, after living on frozen meals for the past several months, the food just tasted so good that I could not resist.

For once, I actually felt like I had enough time to do everything I wanted to do while home. I spent quality time with my parents & siblings, enjoyed playing with my nephew, met my brother's soon-to-be fiance (I hope), spent time with friends, visted with extended family, and also had plenty of time to simply R-E-L-A-X. Oh, and of course, I ate TONS of amazing food (too much, actually) AND received wonderful presents. I really couldn't ask for a better Christmas vacation..

EXCEPT for one major detail.

Hubby was NOT there.

And, you know, I've gotten pretty darn used to Hubby NOT being around. However, I was definitely feeling his absence during this holiday season. He loves my family's Christmas - from the presents to the food to the games - he enjoys it all. For the most part, it was just a little sentimental like, "Aww, I sure wish Hubby could be here to play this game" or "Aww, this is Hubby's favorite meal" and so on and so forth.

I did get a teeny tiny bit emotional once, though. I'm sure you can guess when...

Oh.. you can't?

Well, I got emotional in CHURCH of course. Which I totally did NOT see coming at all. Which is absolutely the worst part. I was sitting in church, minding my own business when during the intentions the reader mentioned "the military service members who could not be with their families this Christmas", and BAM! Waterworks city. The problem was, once I started I really couldn't stop.

There I was in the middle of a packed row of people in the church blowing air onto my eyes with my mouth trying desperately to hide the fact that I was crying from the tons of people who were sitting around me. I don't think many of them noticed, really. Which was good, because if someone had noticed and given me any sign of comfort, I'm sure it would have made it 100 times worse. I absolutely despise crying in front of people.

For the most part, though, this Christmas was a good one. On New Years I got to chat with Hubby online for HIS midnight (which was 4:00 pm Eastern Time). We even gave each other a little New Years Kiss with one of those kissy smiley faces on skype. It was certainly a New Years kiss to remember. :)

And, now here I am back in San Diego. My dogs are safe at home (though I did make an emergency trip to the Vet this morning because my Husky's eye had NOT gotten any better) and believe it or not, my house did NOT explode while I was gone. Whew. What a relief.

I have to say, even though it's always hard to say goodbye to my family, every time I return to San Diego after a long trip away it seems more and more like I'm returning Home.

I have high hopes for the year of 2009. In my old age, I've been realizing more that the unknown future is something to look forward to rather than to fear. I can't wait to see what 2009 will have in store for me. The only thing I know for sure, is that one of my first and best memories of 2009 will be Hubby's homecoming.

Two more months until I can say Hasta La Vista to this deployment. My official countdown has begun. :)

Happy 2009! May it be a year filled with lots of life's little surprises.