Thanks so much to the two of you who gave me absolution from mommy guilt when I posted last about my struggles with pumping, diet, and a little boy with a milk protein intolerance.
Since I wrote, I did try to give up the breastmilk. Try being the key word. I had decided that I would pump and freeze while trying to do the (special, very expensive) hypo-allergenic) formula for a few days to see how it went. Stupidly, the first day I went on a milk/butter/chocolate rampage which was a very big mistake. The first day everything seemed to be going better. Isaac's milk protein intolerance symptoms (believe me, you probably don't want me to get into detail about his symptoms, but I will say they are of the diaper variety) seemed to be diminishing. I was pleased. The second day, during his evening feeding Isaac had a horriffic screaming fit. Even when I stopped feeding him he continued screaming for another 40 mins.
Here's the thing, my peoples... I have always. (Always since day 1 at the hospital when he was spitting up in his sleep) always had in the back of my mind that this kid has reflux like his brother did. Reflux of the silent variety, because since those first few days in the hospital his spitting up has been minimal to non-existant.
Now, there are many things I have learned thanks to endless hours of internet research. One of them is that formula is much worse for the reflux suffering child than is breastmilk. On day 2 of my formula feeding experiment, as my baby screamed for approximately an hour, I firmly decided to stop doubting myself and *if it was the last thing I did, I was going to convince my doctor that this child has reflux -- reflux that is hurting him - and needs to be medicated.
So I booked an appointment for that Friday, and in I went with both of my kids in tow during Sawyer's naptime no less putting my blood pressure at an alarming rate, I'm sure. (did that sentence make any sense? sorry. I don't have time to attempt to fix it. moving on....)
The doctor and I had a nice long chat. He does agree that Isaac has silent reflux. Isaac is now on medication. Not the strongest stuff -- and it seems to be working. Kind of/I think/most of the time. grrrrr. It's really hard to know. I mean, he doesn't scream during or after his bottles anymore, but he does still arch and throw his head from side to side while he eats, and actually insists on laying completely flat against your arm with his back slightly arched the entire bottle. I don't know what to make of it, but since he doesn't seem to be in actual PAIN, I haven't called the doctor back to put him on the heavy reflux meds. (and I daily fight myself on that one, because I'm really not sure if I should or not...)
In the meantime, he comforted me about a few of my major worries. 1) Question: WHY IS HE STILL SHOWING SYMPTOMS of this intolerance?
Answer: It can take a really long time for the milk to clear my system and then in turn to clear his. But he is gaining weight well (phew) and the really bad symptom is gone... so we can wait this out a little bit. Keep fighting the good elimination diet fight and see where we are at 4 months.
2. Question: What's up with the ingredient section of this special hypo-allergenic formula claiming 45% corn syrup solids? 45% sugar? are you KIDDING ME?
Answer: I can understand how that seems alarming but this is not the same thing you are finding in soda or juice or other sugary/unhealthy foods. This "sugar" serves a nutritional purpose. Actually, breast milk contains high volumes of sugar. No worries about the formula. You are not dooming your child to childhood obesity or ADHD because he drinks this formula. (Ok, I added the last line, but I think that is basically what he was telling me).
Also, he was not at all against me going full on formula until I could get all the milk out of my system. Also, if at 4 months Isaac is still having problems he said we will either *start eliminating other allergens from my diet (nuts, wheat, soy) or *just put him on formula full time, but he did say that in this day and age he thinks option number 1 is pretty ridiculous.
So that's that. I just started week 2 of continuing to fight the good elimination diet fight. BUT, now that Isaac is on reflux medication, as soon as I can get to the store and get more breastmilk storage bags, I'm going to try out the exclusive formula one more time.
In further research of this topic (I'm kind of an expert. ask me anything. no really, try me) I learned that 1)reflux is found in approximately 50% of babies with a milk protein intolerance. (starting to think Sawyer may have had an undiagnosed milk protein allergy and the reflux was in conjunction with that.) and 2) supposedly, if a baby is sensitive enough to a milk protein than the hypo-allergenic formula Isaac is currently on will probably cause the baby to react also (do you really want me to go into a technical explanation? because I will if you dare me to...) so I'm kind of worried at this point that Isaac might be reacting to his special formula too and I want to get that figured out before he sees the doctor again at 4 months because if he is at that point Isaac would have to be put on an (incredibly ridiculously expensive, might as well be making a house payment every month) prescription formula (that our insurance damn well better pay for).
Anyway. There you have it.
I really wish Isaac would nurse and I wouldn't even have to deal with formula in the equation, but I'm still trucking along with my pumping (I only get to it 4 times a day, but it's something). Hopefully in the coming weeks we will get this situation all figured out. I have a feeling that my little guy will be so much happier and pleasant when he doesn't have gut issues anymore. As it is, he's a sweetie a good amount of the time, so I can only imagine he would be my little angel if he could just start feeling 100%.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Is Breast Always Really Best?
I really hate to show up here after months of silence and jump right into my predicament without any updates about how incredible life as a mother of two is, but it's also very busy so I must skip over all the flowery wonderfulness and get right to it.
I have a problem.
When Isaac was born I resolved to myself that I would not be a crazy breastfeeding nazi as I had been with Sawyer. After all the drama of his failure to thrive diagnosis and reflux, that mentality had definitely bitten me squarely in the butt.
This time around, I made sure to get Isaac familiar with a bottle around 3 weeks of age (at the recommendation of his pediatrician) and I even gave him formula a few times a week when we went on outings. Hey, let's face it... formula is just so much more convenient for on the go feedings especially when a demanding toddler is part of the picture.
All was going well until just before Isaac hit 2 months. At that point he started to revolt against the breast. He would sometimes drink for 4-5 minutes and then start choking and screaming. Sometimes he would start screaming the instant I attempted to get him to latch on. Of course, I was completely convinced that he, like his big brother, was suffering from silent reflux. In these instances he almost always willingly took a bottle, however, he take a bottle upright and I have just never mastered the art of breastfeeding in any position that did not include the baby lying down. This all still stayed true to my reflux diagnosis.
Around this same time Isaac started to have mucus in his stools. Every now and then. Not all the time. Then one day there were specks of blood in two separate diapers.... so I called the doctor.
The doctor pretty much dismissed my fears of silent reflux and said he believes that Isaac is just being lazy. The bottle is so much easier, why would he want to work so hard to breastfeed when he could simply have a bottle instead? He said he was sorry but that was just going to be a battle I was going to have to fight.
As far as the mucus and blood he said milk protein allergy. So he recommended a special kind of formula and told me to cut milk from my diet.
Now, it has been about a month since all of this has happened and here is how things are going now. Isaac pretty much refuses to breastfeed at all times except for his two earliest morning feedings. I have been trying to keep up with pumping, but it is extremely difficult to find the time to do so. As a result my supply has dropped in half. Therefore, most of the time Isaac gets half formula and half breastmilk.
I tried really hard this week (now that the craziness of the holidays and visitors is finally over) to push the breast at every feeding. It seemed to work out ok yesterday (I only had to give him a bottle at 2 feedings), but today he has been revolting again and in an extreme kind of way.
Now, to add to the complexity of all of this, I have not done a brilliant job of cutting milk from my diet. The mucus in his stools only seems to have gotten worse (no more blood, though) and I was regularly incorporating foods into my diet that I belatedly realized incorporated milk in its ingredients (you would be completely SHOCKED to find all of the things that contain milk. pretty much everything from boxed rice to bread to taco seasoning and so on and so forth. It's ridiculous. I am pretty much a vegan right now!) Only in the past few days do I think I finally have a good handle on eliminating milk from my diet completely. Online I have read that it can take anywhere from 4-6 weeks to completely rid your body of the milk proteins.
In the meantime, this diet is SUCH A STRUGGLE (OMG I AM DESPERATE FOR A CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE, bread with butter, freaking mashed potatoes, a blueberry muffin, and on and on and on)! Pumping is taking a huge portion of the very teeny tiny bit of free time I have in the first place and my milk seems to be hurting Isaac more than it's helping at this point anyway... so I just keep asking myself. Why exactly am I doing this?
Why not just switch completely over to the hypo-allergenic formula and call it a day? Is breast still best when I can't seem to get my diet straight so that my baby isn't constantly suffering from mucusy diarrhea and he is completely against breastfeeding as it is.
ugh. My logical brain says just let it go, Sarah, and start him on the formula full time. But something. SOMETHING in myself is not letting me give up completely. Yes it's a complete and total struggle for every last drop of that breastmilk. Yes, I am desperate (you have no idea) for anything buttery or milky or chocolatey and I have no idea how I'm going to keep this up for MONTHS let alone his entire first year....
I just need... help! Advice. Thoughts. Comments. Whatever you can give me that might help. Please.
I have a problem.
When Isaac was born I resolved to myself that I would not be a crazy breastfeeding nazi as I had been with Sawyer. After all the drama of his failure to thrive diagnosis and reflux, that mentality had definitely bitten me squarely in the butt.
This time around, I made sure to get Isaac familiar with a bottle around 3 weeks of age (at the recommendation of his pediatrician) and I even gave him formula a few times a week when we went on outings. Hey, let's face it... formula is just so much more convenient for on the go feedings especially when a demanding toddler is part of the picture.
All was going well until just before Isaac hit 2 months. At that point he started to revolt against the breast. He would sometimes drink for 4-5 minutes and then start choking and screaming. Sometimes he would start screaming the instant I attempted to get him to latch on. Of course, I was completely convinced that he, like his big brother, was suffering from silent reflux. In these instances he almost always willingly took a bottle, however, he take a bottle upright and I have just never mastered the art of breastfeeding in any position that did not include the baby lying down. This all still stayed true to my reflux diagnosis.
Around this same time Isaac started to have mucus in his stools. Every now and then. Not all the time. Then one day there were specks of blood in two separate diapers.... so I called the doctor.
The doctor pretty much dismissed my fears of silent reflux and said he believes that Isaac is just being lazy. The bottle is so much easier, why would he want to work so hard to breastfeed when he could simply have a bottle instead? He said he was sorry but that was just going to be a battle I was going to have to fight.
As far as the mucus and blood he said milk protein allergy. So he recommended a special kind of formula and told me to cut milk from my diet.
Now, it has been about a month since all of this has happened and here is how things are going now. Isaac pretty much refuses to breastfeed at all times except for his two earliest morning feedings. I have been trying to keep up with pumping, but it is extremely difficult to find the time to do so. As a result my supply has dropped in half. Therefore, most of the time Isaac gets half formula and half breastmilk.
I tried really hard this week (now that the craziness of the holidays and visitors is finally over) to push the breast at every feeding. It seemed to work out ok yesterday (I only had to give him a bottle at 2 feedings), but today he has been revolting again and in an extreme kind of way.
Now, to add to the complexity of all of this, I have not done a brilliant job of cutting milk from my diet. The mucus in his stools only seems to have gotten worse (no more blood, though) and I was regularly incorporating foods into my diet that I belatedly realized incorporated milk in its ingredients (you would be completely SHOCKED to find all of the things that contain milk. pretty much everything from boxed rice to bread to taco seasoning and so on and so forth. It's ridiculous. I am pretty much a vegan right now!) Only in the past few days do I think I finally have a good handle on eliminating milk from my diet completely. Online I have read that it can take anywhere from 4-6 weeks to completely rid your body of the milk proteins.
In the meantime, this diet is SUCH A STRUGGLE (OMG I AM DESPERATE FOR A CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE, bread with butter, freaking mashed potatoes, a blueberry muffin, and on and on and on)! Pumping is taking a huge portion of the very teeny tiny bit of free time I have in the first place and my milk seems to be hurting Isaac more than it's helping at this point anyway... so I just keep asking myself. Why exactly am I doing this?
Why not just switch completely over to the hypo-allergenic formula and call it a day? Is breast still best when I can't seem to get my diet straight so that my baby isn't constantly suffering from mucusy diarrhea and he is completely against breastfeeding as it is.
ugh. My logical brain says just let it go, Sarah, and start him on the formula full time. But something. SOMETHING in myself is not letting me give up completely. Yes it's a complete and total struggle for every last drop of that breastmilk. Yes, I am desperate (you have no idea) for anything buttery or milky or chocolatey and I have no idea how I'm going to keep this up for MONTHS let alone his entire first year....
I just need... help! Advice. Thoughts. Comments. Whatever you can give me that might help. Please.
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